Emerald

Is Your Ego Reacting Competitively To Others Trying To Become Enlightened?

12 posts in this topic

I am a very competitive person. (There can only be one highlander!!!!) I normally don't consciously feel this in relation to enlightenment and seeking, as I'm the only person in my life who is interested in these pursuits. But seeing so many people thinking in the same direction, ignites my competitive spirit and feels somewhat disempowering like a weird aftertaste to an otherwise delicious food. Anyone else having these little flashes of egoic bitterness? If so, it's probably normal, so don't get discouraged. Press on. 


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That you that tells itself it's a "very competitive person", is the thing we are trying to get rid of, you're already shooting yourself in the foot, you already assume you know who you are, so that you that tells itself what it is "a very competitive person", is false, it doesn't exist, that’s an illusion, so by making it a "competitive race" to become what you already are right now is an illusion too and is the very thing stopping you from being it, you are the truth right now, always, you're just not aware of it.


Memento Mori

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7 hours ago, Truth said:

That you that tells itself it's a "very competitive person", is the thing we are trying to get rid of, you're already shooting yourself in the foot, you already assume you know who you are, so that you that tells itself what it is "a very competitive person", is false, it doesn't exist, that’s an illusion, so by making it a "competitive race" to become what you already are right now is an illusion too and is the very thing stopping you from being it, you are the truth right now, always, you're just not aware of it.

I'm aware of this logically. But it is a feeling nonetheless. So, it is my attempt to be mindful and radically honest. But I also posted to help others be mindful of this pattern in themselves. It can be a discouraging feeling, so I figured solidarity might help. 


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I know Leo has had an amazing result with the Forum, and all the sign ups therof, but I would think many people aren't in the right place at the right time to make progress. I happen to be in the category Leo classed as one of the most difficult to ever find enlightenment, I grew up in a high control relgion / cult, so he probably doesn't reckon my chances, but actually, having spent 20 years peeling away the layers, I'm absolutely ready for a fight and hungry to peel off some more.

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3 hours ago, Emerald Wilkins said:

I'm aware of this logically. But it is a feeling nonetheless. So, it is my attempt to be mindful and radically honest. But I also posted to help others be mindful of this pattern in themselves. It can be a discouraging feeling, so I figured solidarity might help. 

I understand that, but I Also see you trying to convince yourself when there is no self to convince. This stuff is very tricky.


Memento Mori

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Yes, it's a common thing. Just be mindful of it in the moment as it is occurring and observe yourself acting like a chimp.

Prepare to feel depressed and pissed off when you realize that enlightenment will be end of that chimp inside you who thinks it's cool or special or better than all the other chimps. That chimp is an illusion. The whole reason you're after enlightenment is a lie. It will never happen. The chimp cannot be enlightened.


You are God. You are Truth. You are Love. You are Infinity.

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21 hours ago, Emerald Wilkins said:

I am a very competitive person. (There can only be one highlander!!!!) I normally don't consciously feel this in relation to enlightenment and seeking, as I'm the only person in my life who is interested in these pursuits. But seeing so many people thinking in the same direction, ignites my competitive spirit and feels somewhat disempowering like a weird aftertaste to an otherwise delicious food. Anyone else having these little flashes of egoic bitterness? If so, it's probably normal, so don't get discouraged. Press on. 

I didn't read all the previous comments but I think I have a unique approach. 

Self development is hard and takes a lot of really hard work. Sometimes a person needs incentives to help get him to certain places and achieve certain things. Sort of like a guy promising himself to buy a tub of ben and jerrys if he gets over a 90 on his exam or something like that. Obviously the goal isnt the ice cream and obviously the goal would be to one day have a deep appreciation for studying that you dont need the ice cream to study. BUT until that day comes I think its ok to use the ice cream to encourage yourself to study because this person obviously sees that studying and good grades have a certain value (my point isnt that school grades have value its just an example) but its just difficult for him and needs to ice cream to work at it. 

So too in your case, I think this competitiveness or maybe some would call it jealousy is good in terms of your growth as sort of an incentive to get you by and obviously one day it would be ideal to try to wean your self off and realize the inherent value of self development and enlightenment but for now its ok to use the competition to help you grow because you obviously see value now in self actualization its just you sort of need competitiveness as a crutch to help you work hard at it. 

Like in the example of the ice cream. If this guy gives himself enough ice cream incentives to study hard and get good grades....he might one day study a lot and realize how fun and interesting it actually really is and become inspired to study even without the ice cream. 

Maybe I'm completely off the ball...but its still an interesting thought!

 

 

Edited by TruthSeeker

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Because a lot of the ways in which we talk about enlightenment on this forum are in essence, not helpful, and therefore somewhat egotistic!!!

For instance, the whole thread on one's "meditative experience", is completely unhelpful to learning and gaining insight. Walt correctly pointed this out.

Others that jump to their conclusion of "everything is a dream", etc without really giving any real explanation. I'd like to ask: What purpose does it serve when you say that? Am I supposed to suddenly go "ah yeh, you're completely right!!! OMG how didn't i see that before!".... we seriously need to properly monitor our tone and usage of language, because in many respects, it isn't helpful to the average person on this board, and actually serves to hinder them.

Edited by tryingforfreedom

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Enlightenment is draining and exhilarating. I'm so focused on my own experience honestly I can't imagine caring about other people


 

 

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4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Yes, it's a common thing. Just be mindful of it in the moment as it is occurring and observe yourself acting like a chimp.

Prepare to feel depressed and pissed off when you realize that enlightenment will be end of that chimp inside you who thinks it's cool or special or better than all the other chimps. That chimp is an illusion. The whole reason you're after enlightenment is a lie. It will never happen. The chimp cannot be enlightened.

Pwahahaaha! SO FUNNY! 

@Emerald Wilkins , this is quite common and, like Leo says, it will pass if you give it your unconditional presence. What will basically happen is that you will see others as different facets of yourself, as opposed to different (higher/lower) degrees of consciousness. Don't give it any thought. Just acknowledge when it comes, and let go of it. YOU are not that. It is just another illusion that Mr Mind presents you with so that it can trick you. 


Ayla,

www.aylabyingrid.com

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@Ayla

Thanks for your help here. 

And thanks for pointing out various neuroticisms for us to look at.

It really is true that once a pattern has been brought out, understood and just lived through with enough present awareness it can just evaporate, and that be the end of it. 

 

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I wanna be/ the very best/ like no one ever waaas (tan dan DAN)


"I gently pushed my hand into my pocket and pulled the last one out, it trembled at first and clung to my hand. "Go on, it will be ok," I whispered. Encouraged, it flexed its wings and I knew the time was right. It flew up towards the blue, blue sky and I looked proudly as it's made its way to freedom. The last of my fucks was finally given."

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