Asexuality/aromanticism

[bejapuskas]

@Derek White  Footfetish is not a construct. There is a nerve that connects feet and the clit.

@Myioko  Right. Certain animals do not contain diseases like covid, that is why people choose cow over a bat. (sometimes) But it is also partially because of scientific development in society that modifies organisms. Exporting meat full of bacteria  that is of the usual animals to eat and stuff like that is illegal.

 

[Derek White]

5 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

 

@Derek White  Footfetish is not a construct. There is a nerve that connects feet and the clit.

Even if there is a physiological component people have exaggerated it in their minds. It’s mostly in the mind. For some footfetishers feet are so important that without them they can’t get off. Why don’t they get off to their mom’s feet or men’s feet? And why only some people have it? That’s clearly in their minds.

Just look at Ancient Chinese foot binding, liking that is definitely a construct. Just like in some countries big boobs and ass are seen as more desirable than in other countries. 

Losing interest in sex after becoming spiritual has been the experience of Sadhguru, Osho, and Krishnamurti. Around the world mystics and religious people are expected to be celibate. 

Edited November 19, 2021 by Derek White

[bejapuskas]

@Derek White  You have so many assumptions man.

[Harlen Kelly]

7 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

@Derek White  Footfetish is not a construct. There is a nerve that connects feet and the clit.

Where did you get this from? 

[soos_mite_ah]

2 hours ago, Derek White said:

Even if there is a physiological component people have exaggerated it in their minds. It’s mostly in the mind. For some footfetishers feet are so important that without them they can’t get off. Why don’t they get off to their mom’s feet or men’s feet? And why only some people have it? That’s clearly in their minds.

I do think there is an element of truth to this since there is a lot of relativity when it comes to attraction and socialization as well as culture can be huge factors. I don't think that's necessarily a problem unless you have a particular thing that turns you on and it's literally impossible for you to get turned on unless that thing is present. Or if a particular thing that turns a person on is something that harms other people. 

[Derek White]

8 hours ago, BenG said:

Some statistics would suggest that most priests and nuns break their vows of celibacy. Perhaps some spiritual people (Sadhguru for instance) have lost sexual interest, but I’d guess they're probably the exception to the rule.

I meant real mystics, not stage blue priests. Maybe it's the stage blue culture or ancient observation, or both.

8 hours ago, BenG said:

Maybe we shouldn't expect spiritually advanced people to be celibate in the first place. That expectation is probably just a reflection of our cultures bad attitudes toward sexuality.

Yea, we should not, but if people can lose interest in success, money, food, life purpose, family, etc. then it can happen with sex too. It's not far fetched, that's all I'm saying. 

@bejapuskas I've experienced something which coincides with my growing spiritual interest. Others have experienced something similar too. There can also be other reasons for it. 

8 hours ago, soos_mite_ah said:

I do think there is an element of truth to this since there is a lot of relativity when it comes to attraction and socialization as well as culture can be huge factors. I don't think that's necessarily a problem unless you have a particular thing that turns you on and it's literally impossible for you to get turned on unless that thing is present. Or if a particular thing that turns a person on is something that harms other people. 

Yea, I find it fascinating to think about how much of our sexual feelings we project (or simply put, how much of it is in our heads). It not like we see a vagina or a penis and feel sexual immediately. It depends on our identity, how we view the other person, and the situation. What Leo said about identities and constructs is relevant here. There are people on YouTube who are attracted to all kind of inanimate objects. If we can project "sexiness" on to inanimate objects, roles, and scenarios, I think we can do it to body parts too, like feet. This person is attracted to balloons:

 Rollercoaster:

All kind of objects:

 

[bejapuskas]

@BenG @Harlen Kelly  HealthyGamerGG (Harvard trained psychiatrist with an MD from Tufts) and I also tried it with multiple different people and it worked. You can literally find the clit by an accident (don't do it, it can feel like assault to the person if you do not warn them) if you touch somebody's foot in a certain way. That's how easy it is, but still, some people fail. To add, those were people who never thought they would enjoy stimulation of feet, it was not in any case a person who knew this about themselves from before.

I also think that unless one perceives extreme fetishes (requiring something to get off) as a problem, they are not really a problem. I don't know if they are unhealthy, I think there is a lot of kink shaming and repression in our society, but for example for people with strong genital dysphorias this can be a good way to still be sexually satisfied if they desire that thing.

I also don't think asexuality is a choice, BenG. It is something you might be born with. It is not caused by a trauma. It means you naturally do not experience sexual attraction. It is the default, not an achievement.

There can be people who face challenges during sex because of trauma, but those are different from asexuals. It is important to distinguish these.

On 20. 11. 2021 at 10:39 AM, Derek White said:

I've experienced something which coincides with my growing spiritual interest. Others have experienced something similar too. There can also be other reasons for it. 

@Derek White  What do you mean by this?

Also thank you for this contribution, I think it is really interesting to contemplate this question of "what does attraction to inanimate objects tell us about our own sexuality?" I think probably almost anyone can experience this, you can even be turned on by ideas. There is however also a difference between getting bodily responses to stimuli and actually being turned on.