Is It Possible To Stay Aware While Doing Calculations ?

[Time Traveler]

Hi, all !

 

Calculations I use here just to denote any activity like making bookkeeping, programming, etc.

Sometimes I feel that every work makes me sick. If it is some mechanical work, like cleaning shit out of my house, I can simultaneously do the work and concentrate on the feeling of aversion in my body. Then I can immerse myself in that feeling, contemplate it in every way I know and eventually  resolve issue.

If feeling (pain for example) is in my body independently of my activities, then it's even easier.

But sometimes I hate to do some mental work, like fixing some bug in my friends website.

I hate to do it, bet I cannot experience that hate clearly enough.

If I sit and try to imagine that I am already doing that work I cannot feel anything relevant.

If I am doing that work and simultaneously trying to be aware of feelings I cannot concentrate both on work and feelings.

Is there some solution to this ? I've searched the internet but it seems that I'm the only one with such problem. Or with such unrealistic hopes to concentrate on two things simultaneously.

[LetTheNewDayBegin]

But why do you hate these things? Do you feel somehow manipulated to do it? What is the issue here for you?

[Time Traveler]

19 minutes ago, LetTheNewDayBegin said:

But why do you hate these things? Do you feel somehow manipulated to do it? What is the issue here for you?

There definitely isn't one issue. Different reasons. I can only guess.

For example, if I my mother considered abortion when she was pregnant with me it could make me fear woman. Then when my girlfriend asks me to do some balance sheets, my unconsciousness would transfer that fear to the job.

What good it'll be for me to know the reason ? I cannot change the past where reasons hide, but I could work with current emotions if I could focus on them.

[LetTheNewDayBegin]

Please connect both things. One works with current emotions by getting oneself to the true reason, and the reason is always in you. Not in the past or outside. Maybe the original cause was the butterfly flapping its wings two decades ago but the reason of hate is now and it's in you. Find it.

[Time Traveler]

1 minute ago, LetTheNewDayBegin said:

Please connect both things. One works with current emotions by getting oneself to the true reason, and the reason is always in you. Not in the past or outside. Maybe the original cause was the butterfly flapping its wings two decades ago but the reason of hate is now and it's in you. Find it.

This is not practical for me. Maybe the original cause was the big bang some 14 billion years ago.

[LetTheNewDayBegin]

Well you didn't undersand what I've just said.