Maladaptive Day Dreaming

[Vaishnavi]

It's a term used to describe the state of excessive fantasising. 

I see day dreaming as an escape from doing any real work and pain. It takes up a huge amount of your time and above all, you end up looking and feeling like an idiot.

One of my friend talked to me about this matter and how it has grown into an addiction for her and hearing her almost paralysed me for I feel that I too fantasise way too much. I fantasise about how my ideal life would be and how I will execute all my plan to make it work. Not that it's causing any real big problems but i in general don't like the idea of fantasing since it is more like an escape from the real task in hand. 

I would love to know your thoughts and if you can relate to it 

[Neo]

Great ideas start out as a fantasy, such as a business idea. Or are you talking fantasy like you're going to marry David Beckham? I think it's really important to know the difference between the two. Something that seems like escapism but actually could be developed into an idea could be REALLY POWERFULL, the other one could just end up in you being a stalker.

[Arman]

I constantly fantasize. Sounds like in a similar way to you. 

I do it every day. Have done for as long as I remember.

It's been a source of fun and inspiration to me and helped me to become who I am. I don't feel like an idiot when I fantasize... I may look like one, but that is less of an issue.

 

[Vaishnavi]

@Neo well marrying Beckham sounds great,  more than great actually  but no, things are different although I sometimes do think about having a deep relationship but that's a different thing. About fantasies, I think I get too involved in them and then execution of no real work happens. Like I do work but the ratio of fantasies:work is almost 75:25 so that's a problem.

@Arman you don't look an idiot to me for sure, but really, don't you think sometimes a person gets way too involved in it? I sometimes do.

Also I realize that sometimes I confuse thinking with fantasizing. I'm addicted to it.

[Kuba]

I day dream a loooooot since elementary school and just recently I started to notice how it doesn't allow me to be fully present and happy. I day dream mainly about me (or rather, about my cool-funny-ultra social self ) Today is the first day when I decided to really take action. If i'll have urge to daydream again I will notice it and just let it go, I know that it probably will be hard because my mind got accustomed to daydreaming through all these years but nevertheless I'm optimistic about it .

http://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/yes-you-can-cure-yourself-from-maladaptive-daydreaming

here's an interesting text that might help you

 

[Emerald]

On 12/22/2016 at 4:22 PM, Vaishnavi said:

It's a term used to describe the state of excessive fantasising. 

I see day dreaming as an escape from doing any real work and pain. It takes up a huge amount of your time and above all, you end up looking and feeling like an idiot.

One of my friend talked to me about this matter and how it has grown into an addiction for her and hearing her almost paralysed me for I feel that I too fantasise way too much. I fantasise about how my ideal life would be and how I will execute all my plan to make it work. Not that it's causing any real big problems but i in general don't like the idea of fantasing since it is more like an escape from the real task in hand. 

I would love to know your thoughts and if you can relate to it 

I used to suffer from Maladaptive Day Dreaming (self diagnosed) and even joined an online forum for it a few years back. I've found that focusing myself productively toward other things has helped a lot. Also, letting go of beliefs that would spur a lot of day dreaming was also very helpful. I used to be able to just sit in a room by myself for 6 hours day dreaming and pacing around. And before I knew it, my day was gone. It can be very hard to break the addiction to thought and scenario creating. I also found that I was daydreaming to get away from negative feelings and situations, in order that I might feel positively. So, I was running away into daydreams to feel better. So, finding a way to feel better when you're present in your life is also very helpful.

[Vaishnavi]

@Kuba I love the humble approach which the writer has taken towards this issue. Thank you for sharing

 

[eskwire]

Leo once mentioned that thinking was perhaps the worst addiction of them and all and he would go into that more in another video in the future.  This struck me as important because my life is in my head.  It is obvious that I do not live in the real world because my real world results are garbage.  It looks like a flurry of careless spurts and starts and nonsense and disregard.  I don't live there.  I check in occasionally.

The benefits people mention are probably real; however, this has to be done in moderation.  There are benefits to trying some drugs, but it's a problem to be addicted.  There are benefits to eating, but it's a problem to be addicted.  Moderated "daydreaming" can be done in time set aside specifically for contemplation and planning, as well as time set aside for visualization.  

Never heard the term "maladaptive daydreaming."   Learn something new every day!

[Emerald]

34 minutes ago, Vaishnavi said:

@Kuba I love the humble approach which the writer has taken towards this issue. Thank you for sharing

 

Haha! I just realized that the site that the post you're talking about was from was the forum I used to follow. 

[SFRL]

What can prevent daydreaming is double timing your chores like folding laundry, cleaning, dishes etc. Those are not really the most stimulating activities and it's easy to let your mind drift off.  When you try to get them done more rapidly then you have to put some focus in it. And after you can move on to activities that inherently take more focus/are more stimulating to the mind. 

[LifeLine]

I daydream too, a lot more than a normal person or at least I think. It is not really the best thing because it pulls you away from reality and reality is not the enemy. I want to stop also, any tips ?

[SFRL]

@Issa Campusano quit multi-media (Facebook). 

You will be surprised how much you are logging in Facebook everyday without even thinking about that action.

The quality of my thoughts has really improved since I have done that. And my sleep as well. Your Facebook feed is a constant stream of external impulses that activate your mind to process them. You cant help it, once you see it or read it you got to process it. If you tend to day dream a lot that can trigger day dreaming.

The impulses from reading multi-media are external so they enter your thoughts from the outside. If you read on Facebook that someone had pasta for dinner, like what use has that information for you really? And that is not even a negative example. Thats very neutral and insignificant example. But you read it so now you got to process it. That thought might trigger a spin-off thought like people eat pasta in Italy. So now you need to process that as well. Taking up more room in your head.

Another spin-off and now you start thinking about maybe you want to go on vacation to Italy. That sounds very nice.....and there you go daydreaming about a vacation in Italy. And these examples are not necessarily that bad, but if it wasnt for a comment of someone else on Facebook you would never have thought about pasta probably, or that vacation in Italy. Maybe nice thoughts but completely useless to you 9 out of 10 times. Of course you can easily come up with more negative examples, the process works the same, the difference is that its even more harmful.   

So when you delete FB and whatever other multi-media then you are left with much more room for thoughts that internally come up in you. I call it your own thoughts. And this also taps into motivation because it is known that intrinsic motivation is much stronger then external motivation.   

[Guest Annetta]

I have this problem as well... it's destroying my life and I can't stop.  It's like my brain finds hooks to hold onto instead of dealing with the real world... it's embarrassing because I'm getting to the point where even when I am walking around or doing things my mind likes to wander.  I've nearly been hit by cars... I talk out loud to myself.  It's not psychosis, but like pure o.  Makes life a living hell sometimes.

Like this, only w/ my mind - don't like meds though... idk wot 2 do.  It creates a barrier between me and everything in life... but I can't give it up because the urge is like going cold turkey from heroin or something, I kid you not!!! 
 

 

[LifeLine]

@STC I don't have any social media at all for a month and some change now. I quit it because the whole thing is just very toxic. 

[SFRL]

@Issa Campusano yeah did you have people ask you if you were ok when you quit Facebook?

I had several people asking me that, they thought something must be wrong. And I am just thinking: No, I am doing really good actually. Lol

Edited January 8, 2017 by STC

[LifeLine]

@STC People just thought I blocked them because I actually deleted the profiles instead of just not using them anymore. Most people really don't understand the whole detachment thing. 

[Kserkkj]

@Kuba That was fking amazing, ty man

[Vaishnavi]

On 1/6/2017 at 10:58 PM, Emerald Wilkins said:

Haha! I just realized that the site that the post you're talking about was from was the forum I used to follow. 

 

it is indeed a wonderful site. I love the way how this writer has discussed the topic in depth. 

@STC Great point made, if not used mindfully, you'll end up doing more harm than good.I have a question though, the point you made, say about eating pasta, can be made even in a face to face conversation with someone right? And now that you've heard it, your mind will process it creating the same chain of thoughts like you mentioned. What do you think?

@Babybat @Issa Campusano i try to catch myself when i'm in that world and it seems to help. Also i've been doing mediation to gain more focus. Maybe read the article available in this thread. It's helpful. 

[SFRL]

@Vaishnavi conversations in person can do that as well. But these people you will have to interact regardless, you still need to go to work or school. 

A typical friendlist on FB got like what 300 'friends'? All sharing their information that's completely useless to you. This all goes into your head. 

By deleting FB you will open up more space in your head. It's a minimalistic approach. So you can focus in the important things that are left. 

[Vaishnavi]

On 08/01/2017 at 7:27 PM, STC said:

@Vaishnavi conversations in person can do that as well. But these people you will have to interact regardless, you still need to go to work or school. 

A typical friendlist on FB got like what 300 'friends'? All sharing their information that's completely useless to you. This all goes into your head. 

By deleting FB you will open up more space in your head. It's a minimalistic approach. So you can focus in the important things that are left. 

Make sense. Thanks Btw I ain't on Facebook. You can keep scrolling the feed and it never fails to bore you, probably that's the reason it's so addictive