Restoring Feminine Energy

[mememe]

be strong emotionally, let her lead you, create novel experiences, make her feel like a woman, let her dominate in the bedroom and make her orgasm.

she has dreams, too - might be that for her its important to see that you can treat her your equal and not someone beyond you. if you really need to dominate someone why do you seem to get into relationships where women grow up, but can’t accept them as equal? maybe she feels she needs to be like that to be accepted by men in general, means she didn’t like to be treated like non equal. either you start having conversations about that or you show her that she doesn’t need to be like that with you but its also not a problem for you if she dominates men - trying to push her back in her development won’t work. use it to grow your partnership and your self, not to put her down in her personal development which would just be destroying your „partnership“. or sail alone.

Edited November 4, 2021 by mememe

[something_else]

50 minutes ago, ndm678 said:

@something_else yes, Word for word.

That's borderline abusive kind of language. If it's a one off then maybe you can let it slide... but if she says these kinds of things to you on the regular get yourself the fuck out of there

 

[mememe]

17 minutes ago, something_else said:

That's borderline abusive kind of language. If it's a one off then maybe you can let it slide... but if she says these kinds of things to you on the regular get yourself the fuck out of there

 

yes for her sake, maybe.

do you know anything about their relationship besides his view? i think some of the tips here are partially abusive not regarding language.

Edited November 4, 2021 by mememe

[ndm678]

33 minutes ago, mememe said:

yes for her sake, maybe.

do you know anything about their relationship besides his view?

Probably not, this a pretty anonymous forum.

Why would I tell falsehoods and untruths? I don't need sympathy, just some advice. I just don't want to screw what we have up.

Things have been pretty harmonious, considering the length of time we've been together

 i think some of the tips here are partially abusive not regarding language.

What do you find abusive for advice?

 

[mememe]

@ndm678 the calls for dominating her for example - you already stated that was counterproductive.

i suppose somehow she needs trust in you the most. you need to start talking to find out what’s the real problem. not some pet theory about how to hold a wife.

[soos_mite_ah]

I mean, people are complex beings and no man is a 100% masculine and no woman is a 100% feminine. And expecting her to be feminine all the time only embrace one side of her is pretty demeaning imo because then you aren't really seeing her as a whole person. She has a masculine side and deserves to be able to embrace it, just like you have your feminine side and you deserve to embrace that as well in order to be a well integrated person. 

It might be part of a phase where she is encountering a situation where she needs embrace one part of herself over another or maybe this is a side to her that wasn't being acknowledged or discovered in the past. 

[soos_mite_ah]

2 hours ago, ndm678 said:

@Leo Gura Thank you. She is stressed from her promotion from work. She's overly petrified by Covid and stresses out when she needs to leave the house for any reason. Every new news report brings waves of stress and fear. What can I even do with that?

If I were you I would try to lean into my feminine side more and try to emotionally support her through this by being empathetic and communicating both what is going on with you, but also what she's emotionally going through. And then you need to find a way to get both of those needs met. 

Relationships are usually 50-50 but sometimes they might lean a little one way or another for a time being because everyone needs help every now and then. 

[ndm678]

@soos_mite_ah I don't expect her to be all feminine, all the time. I realize the balance. This latest 'spell' has been going on for a few months now. How long is too long?

I tend to come up short in the effective communication department. The last I tried to talk about this, I was lashed at pretty hard for being self centered, delusional, and no longer needed.

But thank you, I will take your advice to lean into my feminine a bit more, if I get the opportunity. 

[Lyubov]

This is a helpful thread. Been dealing with this all evening. I sometimes feel this from my woman. How long has it been going on for you? I've noticed my girl will sort of go back and forth. Sometimes we go through this and I feel us sort of go apart, we are more likely to fight, but we talk so we handle it in a healthy way. Then we will come crashing back together with her being very feminine and me being very masculine. It's not very enjoyable to be around her when she is grumpy and putting up this sort of cold masculine front. Kinda hard to talk it out always as well. I sorta just giver her a little space and slowly ramp up being romantic as much as I can stomach and have the emotional wherewithal for. That seems to get us close again. Talking helps a lot though for sure. Just make sure to know when to bring it up cause sometimes it's not a good time to bring stuff like this up. It's kinda tricky to know how to get your girl out of this especially when you are sort of at your own limit from work and doing other stuff. Finding that balance can be tricky at times and it's ok to not always be perfect at it. You're doing your best like everyone. 

Edited November 4, 2021 by Lyubov

[Jacob Morres]

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZM89b1ecG/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZM89b2gPN/

These channels have some videos on conscious communication with your partner, they do some mock conversations that I found useful. 

 I have a couple more channels and ill look for their specific videos where they talk about it 

One thing I do want to say is that your gfs behavior is abrasive and when she says you're no longer needed that does make me on alert a bit

Edited November 4, 2021 by Jacob Morres

[ndm678]

1 hour ago, Lyubov said:

How long has it been going on for you?

About 3 months, I really noticed a shift about 2 months ago

I've noticed my girl will sort of go back and forth. Sometimes we go through this and I feel us sort of go apart, we are more likely to fight, but we talk so we handle it in a healthy way. Then we will come crashing back together with her being very feminine and me being very masculine.

This used to be normal flow, we don't live together, so when she would becoming this dense in energy, I would disappear for a few days. Everything would have kinda settled and we would move forward. I would get the 'I miss you' and 'I love you' texts. But this flow has changed, I don't get those anymore.

 

 Talking helps a lot though for sure.

Not in my case, she's a pro at flipping anything back onto me. So if I have a critique, that doesn't get addressed and I get piled on how much I suck. So I still have the unresolved issue, and the guilt from whatever she just said.

I hope your interactions can be more fruitful then what mine have become

 

[ndm678]

@Jacob Morres Thank you for those, and thank you for looking for more for me.

She has been rather abrasive as of late. I try not to let it get to me, for the most part. 

[ndm678]

@mememe I don't dominate her, outside of the bedroom. She used to be quite the fan of it, when things were good. Probably TMI, but I picked up what was being put down.

[Harlen Kelly]

@ndm678 Time for a new girlfriend. 

[ndm678]

@Harlen Kelly I also feel that peticular writing is on the wall.

[hyruga]

Here's one thing I learn: Masculinity and Femininity are not polar opposites. That means you can be strong, yet at the same time, you can show warmth, affection, love and all the terms associated with femininity (this word is hard to spell). 

[Leo Gura]

You should have a serious talk with her explaining how you feel, tell her that you understand she is stressed, but that your patience is wearing thin and that if this continues the relationship will end.

This is the truth of the matter. Relationship requires both sides to care about the other's needs. Sounds like you are bending for her but she is not willing to do the same.

[kamwalker]

I haven’t read the whole thread. How long has she been “acting” this way? 

[tsuki]

15 hours ago, ndm678 said:

@Leo Gura Thank you. She is stressed from her promotion from work. She's overly petrified by Covid and stresses out when she needs to leave the house for any reason. Every new news report brings waves of stress and fear. What can I even do with that?

@ndm678 What kind of work does she do? Maybe she's under the impression that the masculine energy is required in her work and she tries to fit into that environment? It is pretty common to wear the new energetic signature all the time when you are in a transition period.

Just make sure that she knows that her feminine energy is required at home and that she will eventually need to learn to switch between the two. Maybe she will learn to be adaptable in this respect and your dynamic could improve over a longer period of time.

[mememe]

12 hours ago, ndm678 said:

@Harlen Kelly I also feel that peticular writing is on the wall.

yeah and it‘s a selfenforcement loop to just not step out of your comfort zone. 

this myth of bending backwards for anyone while doing armchair philosophy is like watching a yoga movie on your psychologists couch. it just feels like you search for a better negotiation-position but emotions are not negotiable. maybe that’s the whole point. maybe she would really be better off without someone who actually really does only care about standing his grounds in a manly way. how can you solve problems the way you created them?

i really suspect you now of being part of the problem, means why she is the way you don’t like her. (even though i noticed that this was a bedroom only behavior - how receptive are you towards male strength and how repelled are you by feminine strength?)

@Leo Gura sorry for using your metaphor here but lets be honest if you cannot do it its just that, a metaphor.

that‘s why yoga is recommendable.

Edited November 5, 2021 by mememe