Suicidal Dad

[yetineti]

Long story short my Dad is becoming increasingly suicidal. 
 

He has been through a lot. Lost his mom, lost his career, lost his wife and his house to her and some other bad dreams.

He is OCD, ADHD, Depressed, Diabetic (doesn’t take his meds apparently) - and while he still seems decent physically - he is 54 and he has been having to work a hard sheetmetal job because he’s to proud to settle - plus he has debt and it pays well.

but you get it, it’s bad. Some of it his fault, a lot of it not.

I love the guy. He keeps asking why we want him to keep living and suffer when he could die. He hates himself and doesn’t think he will ever deserve anything.

He also has been having to take care of his girlfriend who had a stroke and needs full time care essentially. 
 

It’s bad. 
 

I know that’s just a dream. I know I will be okay. He hasn’t killed himself, he says also that he’s too afraid to kill himself or that he won’t.

It will be alright, I say.

But, also, I’m not sure what to do.

Cops? Hospital suicide watch? Fuck up his insurance, ability to work? Also he’d probably just be put on more meds anyways. Meds can just suck more when it come to mental health.

Do I move in with him (I live with my mom) and help him? His house is cramped and he smokes though.

IDK, I could rant for ever. 
 

Its fucking with me though. I know it’s all love, even if he kills himself and I’m afraid of that. Or at least there’s fear. 
 

And part of me is confident that he won’t do anything and he won’t have to be sent somewhere, but I don’t know what to do.

I have made myself weak.

This feels like a game; I’m confused. 

[Flowerfaeiry]

It's always tough when people close to you are suicidal because you think "if I don't do the right thing, they're dead". Reading this I can tell you care a lot about your dad and are really distressed over this. He is lucky to have you. 

Yes this is all love, AND you have human things to deal with so no need to try and bypass this by saying those things. It's OK to feel that this is hard, it's OK to feel fear and confusion. 

I don't know what you should do, I just wanted to offer you some support. 

[Preety_India]

Sad to hear. Terrible situation to be in. All you can do is offer your compassion to him. Easier said than done. 

You could take him for therapy on a weekly basis. Be by his side and let him know that he is loved and cared for. 

Most likely he won't kill himself looking at the state of things. 

If things are too bad where he attempts something bad, then you will need to take him to a doctor. That's the best that you can do in this situation. 

It's important to not lose yourself and keep yourself emotionally and physically strong because family situations like these can be very draining and you can only help others when your own cup is full. 

Take care 

 

[tsuki]

On 4.11.2021 at 5:50 AM, mw711 said:

He keeps asking why we want him to keep living and suffer when he could die.

This is an invitation for you to feel responsible for his decisions. Remember: you are not responsible for his decisions.

On 4.11.2021 at 5:50 AM, mw711 said:

He hates himself and doesn’t think he will ever deserve anything.

He does not understand that you love him. He has lost his heart.

On 4.11.2021 at 5:50 AM, mw711 said:

But, also, I’m not sure what to do.

Remember: you are not responsible for his decisions. You love him, and it's killing you. I get it. But you are not responsible for his decisions.

On 4.11.2021 at 5:50 AM, mw711 said:

This feels like a game; I’m confused. 

This is a game. A game of abuse. Watch the hell out and love yourself to no end. Love will save you. First, love yourself, feel yourself, do good to yourself. Then, if anything is left, love him. This is the only way.

Edited November 10, 2021 by tsuki