how to stop feeling guilt ?

[omar30]

I always have the feeling that I don't deserve to live and not truly appreciating life, I hate materialism.

a feeling of hatred towards myself and people, in general, there is always a voice in my head saying I hate people and I find myself repeating this word many times a day like an affirmation.

I feel guilty about my relationship with my family things that happened in the past. 

[ted73104]

Seems like the environment that you grew up in attributed you with a sense of judgement about yourself. Overall, you didn't like some of the things that occurred in your family in the past. Now with this negative build up and a flawed self identity, you probably also have issues building relationships between your peers. You hate the world because you feel the world has abandoned you. No matter how hard you try, no one seems to ever give a fuck about you.

Unfortunately this looks like a negative spiral downwards, my friend. You have a negative worldview about yourself, and your negativity repels those around you "proving" that you "don't deserve to be loved". 

Emotions are really a strong thing. Basically you need to cultivate a positive emotion which is stronger than the negative emotion to overcome this. And this positive emotion cannot be forced, it has to be genuine. Very hard. I wouldn't suggest you to do this directly. I wouldn't suggest to even try to be positive, because that is just damn hard right now.

I used to be in this situation, and then when I suffered a depression, it took me ten years to overcome. For me the way to stop feeling guilt is to change how you see yourself, and in this process I changed my entire worldview. I think the changing your worldview part might be necessary, because how you see yourself is mainly built on how you think other people look at you. How you think other people look at you is based on your worldview. 

Logically, I think you would agree that there is no such thing as the idea of deserving or not deserving. What people think you deserve is only their selfish opinion. Anyone who is in your shoes, grew up the way you did, would end up in the exact same position as you. People are not better than you just because their circumstances were better. There is no fucking point in comparison here, because there is just nothing to compare with.

I think the first thing you should do is to try to be exactly as you are right now. Just try to accept yourself as you are right now with no judgement. You need to jump out of neurotic ideas and let your emotions flow. Good thing would be to find a close friend and honestly talk about how you feel with him/her. Then I would recommend therapy, those this would cost you, but I wished I got therapy sooner. Would have saved me years of suffering, your happiness is way more important than any amount of money. Through therapy, you could understand more about yourself, identify your internal issues. And then you could gradually resolve those inner issues one by one. 

And so I think there's two parts to overcoming guilt. First is to develop this neutral mindset where you're able to look at your circumstance from a bigger point of view, big picture thinking here. There is a zillion reasons why you're the way you are, you just supposed to be the way you are right now. With understanding, you can become more calm about yourself. Then there is the work to change your habits, piece by piece, and generating results you want in your life. The neutral mindset is really important, because if you think negatively about yourself when you try and then "fail", it will hinder your will to continue. Work to change yourself in really small steps. The results will be exponential, meaning that the change is slow at first but you'll gradually change more and more quicker. Once you've overcome even one issue, you will be significantly stronger than you were before.

[Elton]

@omar30 let me introduce to you a technique by Kate...

Step one 

Ask your self if what you think is true?

I hate people ... is this true ?

 

Step 2

Do you absolutely know that it is true ?

If you answer yes repeat this question again and again...

 

Step 3

How would you feel, or what would you be without this thought ? 

I hate people without this thought what would you be or feel ...

Step 4

Turn the statement around 

You hate people

People hate you...

You hate you ? 

Then work on whatever statement feels true.

If you hate you then work on self acceptance, forgiveness and such important topics ...

[Fearless_Bum]

@omar30 There is guilt and that is completely fine. 

The guilt expresses itself and fades away. But "you" manifest and say "How do I get rid of guilt?". 

When the guilt arises, let go of the "you" that arises and reacts to it. Let there be only guilt. 

Eventually itll disappear after its done its dance  . 

[omar30]

@Fearless_Bum good point but it does not fade away it is like a constant state. cuz the people around me activate this shity feeling like my brother doesn't speak to me at all and he does not tell me any reason why he avoids me. but I think I figured it out I need to get rid of my family and live alone or travel to some country and never make any contact again. i think I will not regret making this choice that is actually what I feel from them they want to get rid of me I don't know why they are not direct about it. 

Edited November 5, 2021 by omar30

[Fearless_Bum]

12 minutes ago, omar30 said:

@Fearless_Bum but I think I figured it out I need to get rid of my family and live alone or travel to some country and never make any contact again. i think I will not regret making this choice that is actually what I feel from them they want to get rid of me I don't know why they are not direct about it. 

@omar30 or, you can begin to realize the Empowerment you already have and work with the situation you're in rather than reacting against it and saying fuck it I'm out. 

If you follow that path then not only would you leave due to the Love moving you, but the people you'd leave will remember you and be inspired by you. 

[Breakingthewall]

@omar30 What happens to you is that you are identified with your ego, with the idea of your life as a story, the past as something alive, full of meaning and strength. The moment you surrender to the present and realize what you are, all of that dissolves. all that mental shit that tortures you is what encourages you to solve the riddle. you have to untangle the strings of the ego and set yourself free. a great revolution that results in total freedom. But first you have to understand, even if only intellectually, the inherent falsehood of any concept. if you want to go beyond the mind, the mind itself must recognize its limitation

[Raze]

Try the Sedona method or Byron Katie method

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPpJyKTxhYQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-D_4eNI-zI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EafFP9m_dvM

 

https://www.shinzen.org/store/cure-guilt-shame/

[Yidaki]

On 11/4/2021 at 2:16 PM, Elton said:

@omar30 let me introduce to you a technique by Kate...

Step one 

Ask your self if what you think is true?

I hate people ... is this true ?

 

Step 2

Do you absolutely know that it is true ?

If you answer yes repeat this question again and again...

 

Step 3

How would you feel, or what would you be without this thought ? 

I hate people without this thought what would you be or feel ...

Step 4

Turn the statement around 

You hate people

People hate you...

You hate you ? 

Then work on whatever statement feels true.

If you hate you then work on self acceptance, forgiveness and such important topics ...

That Work is pretty powerful

[Nahm]

On 11/3/2021 at 10:57 PM, omar30 said:

I always have the feeling that I don't deserve to live and not truly appreciating life, I hate materialism.

a feeling of hatred towards myself and people, in general, there is always a voice in my head saying I hate people and I find myself repeating this word many times a day like an affirmation.

I feel guilty about my relationship with my family things that happened in the past. 

Express that you’re jealous. It’s relieving and feels better than guilt. There are people who think & believe the opposite, that they do deserve to live, and are appreciating life, love the experience of ‘stuff’, love themself & people, and therein don’t have that ‘voice in their head’. Maybe you want to experience like these people do. 

[omar30]

9 hours ago, Nahm said:

Express that you’re jealous. It’s relieving and feels better than guilt. There are people who think & believe the opposite, that they do deserve to live, and are appreciating life, love the experience of ‘stuff’, love themself & people, and therein don’t have that ‘voice in their head’. Maybe you want to experience like these people do. 

Thank you for the advice i dont have this problem anymore i have figured it out. it was because i was acting like a victim.

I started to appreciate life more and think that life is fair. 

Also i started to establish boundaries which is something i have struggled with.

[Gianna]

It took me so long to realize that my guilt was an internal ABUSER! haha. But seriously this is what guilt is. It is a terrorizer, a moderator to try and get you to behave in a certain way. But it is only doing this/has this strategy to keep you safe. It believes it is protecting you from something. If it wasn’t it wouldn’t be guilting you. Everything we do, every thought, feeling, or belief we have was created in an attempt to save ourself, to survive. So asks your guilt, what are you trying to save me from?