Why Are PUA's Creepy?

[Etherial Cat]

 

10 minutes ago, Nos7algiK said:

Russell Brand "woke up" a few years back and now has many videos talking about his sexual days. How all of that was nothing more than a reaction to his own insecurities, a desire to be liked, and to fill a void inside of him that no matter how many women he slept with it was never filled. He also talks about how in the end it not only hurt him as a person, but was hurting others as a person.

Russel is no longer the guy he used to be and good for him honestly, he has a family now. I'm sure many men dreamed to be him and many women dreamed to be with him. But, he threw all of that away to find himself and find stability in life. When someone we would consider top of the game is admitting there are many issues with this behavior, then maybe it's best to turn our awareness inside and ask ourselves why are people really doing stuff like this?  Even if it is to build confidence and actually obtain self security then why do people claim their are so actualized themselves but defend this behavior like it isn't rooted in insecurities? The basic principle of desire is to believe you lack something in the first place.

Exactly! 

[Raptorsin7]

Just now, mandyjw said:

No, she lost the weight. As far as I know things were fine with her hubby. That wasn't the point though. 

See how quick you are to pounce on the judgement button? Why? 

Because what you said is nonsensical. 

Imagine I had a sexual preference for insecure woman who liked to be physically and verbally abused? Would you say that everyone has different preferences, and to each their own?

[How to be wise]

@Leo Gura Can you explain why you have no interest in hiring a hooker?

[mandyjw]

1 minute ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Because what you said is nonsensical. 

Imagine I had a sexual preference for insecure woman who liked to be physically and verbally abused? Would you say that everyone has different preferences, and to each their own?

If you had that preference there would be something behind it, not expressing the preference would not bring this to light and instead would allow it to play out in the abuse again and again or eat you up. Expressing it to a therapist would be ideal.

 A gay man who can't admit to himself what he likes and who marries a straight woman does not love her. He wants to love her. He does, in a way love her. But only until he expresses his desires will he really show her any love or allow himself any love. You must allow yourself love to give it to another because love is not two, it does not go from one to another. It is the shared being. 

Everything changes when you can be as you are. 

 

[Raptorsin7]

Just now, mandyjw said:

If you had that preference there would be something behind it, not expressing the preference would not bring this to light and instead would allow it to play out in the abuse again and again or eat you up. Expressing it to a therapist would be ideal.

 A gay man who can't admit to himself what he likes and who marries a straight woman does not love her. He wants to love her. He does, in a way love her. But only until he expresses his desires will he really show her any love or allow himself any love. You must allow yourself love to give it to another because love is not two, it does not go from one to another. It is the shared being. 

Everything changes when you can be as you are. 

 

That's my point, if you get to the root of the preference you will uproot it.

The same logic applies to obese woman, and chubby chasing men.

[Nos7algiK]

@Etherial CatThose are nice videos.

[mandyjw]

@Raptorsin7 Chubby chasing. 

Never ceases to amaze me how one single name or title can seem to invoke shame and then avoidance. 

Oooooo... the depths of the illusion. Astounding. 

[Raptorsin7]

1 minute ago, mandyjw said:

Oooooo... the depths of the illusion. Astounding. 

Indeed

[Lyubov]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Actually, a lot of technical practice leads to exactly this.

Technical practice not only dials in your outer game, but most importantly your inner game. If you do 10,000 approaches and rigorously dial in your game you will fix the broken inner foundation along the way.

Genuinely relishing giving charisma is what game teaches you.

10,000 approaches will produce massive inner changes in you. You will become like a new person by the end of that.

Social exposure is a key factor for sure but I've seen so many guys over focusing on the technical aspect and getting no where. The disclaimer about this approach is washed over like the quick credits to one of those 1-800 infomercials that says you can lose up to 20 ibs. There are tons of traps along the way and many guys will make little progress this way aside from perhaps developing some discipline and grit. I can't say such an approach will go to waste in bringing life lessons but there are more intelligent and conscious ways over the mass approaching path. It seems like there are guys who start following PUAs teaching this route and get on a carousel of failure and make little progress while some other students will progress. I'm sure there are more paths than one to really getting good with this but for me a more holistic approach and inner focus was the game changer. I got average results when I first got into pick up and it was incredibly frustrating. It didn't get better through mass approaching. It got better through inner work (therapy and psychedelics). I had taken tons of social time off and once I did the grueling inner work I dived back into going out and getting with beautiful women was easy and seamless. It's why I advocate much more for inner changes over spamming yourself. The gritty technical route just doesn't produce the same type of inner changes many guys need to make before becoming attractive and able to get a woman. I don't see a reason why both can't be done at the same time though. 

[TK2021]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Make whatever excuses you want, but in the end women will flee from you and flock to guys who go out and develop their game.

Here is a wicked zen koan for you:
Make whatever excuses you want, but in the end youtube viewers will flee from you and flock to guys who go out and make clickbait videos.

Don't go for the immediate and easy retort of "I've learned youtube game very hard" - just let it sink in like a koan.

Edited November 3, 2021 by TK2021

[Javfly33]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

 

10,000 approaches will produce massive inner changes in you. You will become like a new person by the end of that.

10,000 approaches...Jesus...

[Zeroguy]

34 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

10,000 approaches...Jesus...

AIn't nobody have time for that.

What's wrong @Raptorsin7?

Just go out ain't no big deal.

[Raptorsin7]

9 minutes ago, Zeroguy said:

AIn't nobody have time for that.

What's wrong @Raptorsin7?

Just go out ain't no big deal.

Nothing.

I just have found tremendous value from this pua guy so I wanted to share 

[Rilles]

Pickup is so cringe they made a movie about it being cringy 20 years ago.

[zazen]

3 hours ago, mandyjw said:

Everything changes when you can be as you are.

Beating oneself over their condition isn't helpful, I understand people should accept how they are (if overweight, socially awkward etc) but one must also self improve. Love your current self, love what you are, but also love your future self and what you could be.

3 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Because what you said is nonsensical. 

Imagine I had a sexual preference for insecure woman who liked to be physically and verbally abused? Would you say that everyone has different preferences, and to each their own?

Most men do not like obese women and to tell those women that they do is a great disservice to their health and the prospect of finding a partner. Women and men both have societal pressures and issues to deal with, men talk directly about problems whereas women because of their more caring nature wish not to offend and beat around the bush. Women have a greater need to be accepted by the social group as their survival depends on it, hence the need for not offending, guarding reputation, aversion to healthy criticism receiving or being given. The Machiavellian inclined women may even promote fat acceptance as a way to reduce their competition in securing a guy. When truth is avoided however it causes more issues than not in general, the delivery of that truth has to be balanced with trust and care as to not offend.

 

Quote

''Women are not allowed to be criticised anymore as apparently we must place an incredibly high amount of priority on what one could only consider inane sensibilities which manifest from one’s personal insecurities, criticism is about feedback and improvement but women on the feminist bandwagon tend to illogically rationalise anything negative sounding as oppressive and thus shut down completely, resorting to fallacies, shaming tactics and sticking their fingers in their ears to maintain their belief system. 

For example, most fat women cannot handle being told they’re fat, that they need to lose weight and being given advice on how to lose their weight, more than likely the woman in question will be offended you’ve acknowledged she has an unhealthy BMI and she’ll either shut down on you, or possibly join a fat acceptance movements. In this paradigm where the feminine whims and sensibilities dictate the confines of what essentially constitutes a gynocentric society, society (including lots of clueless men) thus begin to talk more and more bullshit to placate the fragile and delicate egos, rather than be honest and help them to work on improving themselves via the distillation of tough love, also commonly known as “the truth.”

 

This excess feminised perspective permeating the past decades of acceptance and zero judgment etc has its place, but it can also end up hurting if left lopsided and unbalanced. Now we have a snowflake generation easily offended by everything and wanting to cancel everything. 

Edited November 3, 2021 by zazen

[Javfly33]

Yeah its way more cool to get your card balance or PayPal drained a little bit more each weekend by positive dominatrix sex workers which fuel off your lack of self esteem and lack of sexual experience. 

Actually It wasnt long time ago that a Domme post in Twitter that a sub has killed himself because of his findom addiction. Actually, kudos to her for sharing that. Its like a plug would share that one of his addicts OD on his own drug. 

So... you know.. please you high moral beings of Actualized! Maybe Go to her grave to leave flowers and leave for him on a small note he was so Lucky for not being those cringy dudes who mass approached and instead waited for true love online!!! ?

....

Tell him "We are proud of you. You killed yourself which was kinda sad But the important is that you didnt become those cringy awkard PUAS!"

 

[TheAlchemist]

I recommend reading the book "Rapid Escalation" by Liam McRae if you want to open your mind to the kind of spontaneous sexual adventures you can have, when you become courageous and grounded in your sexual nature. The book is more about an intuitive approach instead of learning specific techniques, allowing the heat of the moment to take you. It's a collection of stories, tips and field reports from dozens of rapid and passionate sexual encouters often happening in very public places in the heat of the moment. 

Also read some feminist literature on womens sexual fantasies. For example Nancy Fridays Secret Garden describes womens sexual fantasies in very explicit detail.

These two books can totally shift your mindset on what sex and sexual relations with women can be like in this life. And in a very healthy win-win way I think. 

Edited November 3, 2021 by TheAlchemist

[Raptorsin7]

16 minutes ago, TheAlchemist said:

I recommend reading the book "Rapid Escalation" by Liam McRae if you want to open your mind to the kind of spontaneous sexual adventures you can have, when you become courageous and grounded in your sexual nature. The book is more about an intuitive approach instead of learning specific techniques, allowing the heat of the moment to take you. It's a collection of stories, tips and field reports from dozens of rapid and passionate sexual encouters often happening in very public places in the heat of the moment. 

Also read some feminist literature on womens sexual fantasies. For example Nancy Fridays Secret Garden describes womens sexual fantasies in very explicit detail.

These two books can totally shift your mindset on what sex and sexual relations with women can be like in this life. And in a very healthy win-win way I think. 

I think this is a part of woman's mating strategy most people are not aware of.

Woman want the best genetics possible for their offspring, but there are only a limited number of hyper desirable men and woman know they can't keep those kind of men around because of competition from other woman.

If a woman is able to get pregnant from an exceptional man, her children will have superior genetics. This would have been an even more viable strategy in early human history when tribes we more homogenous, a woman could get impregnated by a higher status man, while still being in a relationship with a lesser man, who would not know that those children are not this.

Woman would be satisfied with a one night stand essentially, because you will give her genes a greater chance of being passed on because your own superior genetics. I've seen this phenomena in real life, some woman in clubs would essentially use me sexually, and be content to never speak to me again. I never understood it then, but many of these woman had partners it seemed like

[TheAlchemist]

56 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

I think this is a part of woman's mating strategy most people are not aware of.

Woman want the best genetics possible for their offspring, but there are only a limited number of hyper desirable men and woman know they can't keep those kind of men around because of competition from other woman.

If a woman is able to get pregnant from an exceptional man, her children will have superior genetics. This would have been an even more viable strategy in early human history when tribes we more homogenous, a woman could get impregnated by a higher status man, while still being in a relationship with a lesser man, who would not know that those children are not this.

Woman would be satisfied with a one night stand essentially, because you will give her genes a greater chance of being passed on because your own superior genetics. I've seen this phenomena in real life, some woman in clubs would essentially use me sexually, and be content to never speak to me again. I never understood it then, but many of these woman had partners it seemed like

Interestingly, people in hunter-gatherer tribes likely didn't even know that sex causes pregnancy. So sex might have been just a casual thing like with the bonobos (humans closest relatives along with chimps). Bonobos have sex with each other all day long, to reduce some stress, resolve some conflicts or just out of boredom.

So maybe sex was not as possessive and didn't hold such meaning. And there is clear evidence to support that women tend to prefer highly masculine traits during ovulation, and less masculine traits during pregrancy and outside ovulation, even in modern times. So partner selection could have been quite fluid within the tribe without much possessiveness.

Even some modern tribes have been discovered where they believed that all the men who were intimate with a woman are the fathers, and they raised the child together. That type of view would totally change the dynamics of sexual relations. And it might be what the environment of evolutionary adaptation was like for us.

Edited November 3, 2021 by TheAlchemist

[mandyjw]

@Rilles