The Connection between purification and breakthroughs in trips

[Porphyry Fedotov]

Hi everybody. I've recently read "The Mind of the Universe" by Christopher Bache. For those who is unfamiliar with his work - he did about 70 high dose LSD (500 and higher) trips. What I found out was revealing and confirmed and clarified my own experience. Basically, before every breakthrough and god realization he had to go through excruciatingly purifying suffering. It seems to me that taking the 'right dosage' of psychedelic isn't enough to have an awakening experience. The psychedelic has to clean up the The Augean Stables of your mind to make room for it. Leo rarely talks about it.

At least it was for Christopher Bache and as I found for me as well. For example - even to get the tiny sample of blissful cosmic love I myself went through tons of trips filled with suffering. It's like in order to experience subtle states of consciousness, your own consciousness has to be pulverized to more subtle formation and attuned. And this process of refinement ain't easy. It's difficult as fuck. I feel like I'm moving very slowly in this direction fighting at every step and even when I surrender - I never do it fully because I still not fully understand how to do it properly. It goes like this - at the beginning of a trip I usually realize that I'm in the midst of internal struggle, and I'm like fuck here we go again. It takes time to get to the point when I surrender (or sometimes not).

For me purification takes two form. First one is getting attacked by very coarse bass-like vibrations which grind and massage my consciousness. I call it cosmic coffee grinder. It takes slightly different forms. Sometimes it accompanied with visuals, sometimes not.

Second one happens when you feel unpleasant feeling like fear until it gest absurdly intense and magnified so that it disappear.

That's what happened to me yesterday. I drunk 3 gr mushroom tea. And most of the trip was suffering. At some point I felt relief when a blob blocking the flow peeled off. Then followed extreme fear which run it course and followed by impatience which run its course as well. Then a brief moment when I kind of surrendered and for a short time became breath and I was an energy flowing through myself peacefully. Then at the end of a trip were usual post effects, all these beautiful but vacuous bells and whistles like fractals and extreme mind-wandering.

Do any of you have similar experience? Can it be somehow related to the particular type of psychedelic?  Christopher Bache used LSD, I usually use mushrooms. I only used LSD once and from my experience it was extremely similar to shrooms.

Also does it have to do with trauma? Because I definitely had a few traumatic experiences in my life (for example I even have a physical manifestation of I guess some trauma - constant ache on the left side of body below heart. There're moments when I don't feel it, but it never goes away)

Any suggestions on to how to improve the quality of trips?

 

[BipolarGrowth]

Try to take a broad approach to spirituality which is beyond just meditation, trips, Actualized videos, etc. For example, finding my twin flame lead pretty directly to my first experience of 8th Jhana and cessation, all while combined with somewhat new and radical nondual Christianity, surrendering to a non-physical and non-human guru, opening of my chakras with telepathic communication that works in completely sober life which was only discovered by luck and intuition, etc… That’s really just the tip of the iceberg which allowed me to open psychedelics to their potential. When you start to open up, heroic dose trips are seen as less beneficial. I discovered that THC was my main transformative aid beyond regular/serotonergic psychedelics. What before practicing spirituality for 7 years would’ve make me laugh with friends and eat junk food was now capable of giving me heroic dose type experiences in a sustainable way which could be practiced far more frequently. Eventually, even that tool wasn’t even necessary. It was more like an extra lubricant than anything. 
 

Open your eyes to all methods and possibilities, and allow your intuition to guide you to the right techniques. That is what worked for me. 

[Nahm]

@Porphyry Fedotov

Careful with attributing properties or cause to the mushroom. The big punchline is it’s just a mushroom. 

[Porphyry Fedotov]

22 minutes ago, BipolarGrowth said:

Try to take a broad approach to spirituality which is beyond just meditation, trips, Actualized videos, etc. For example, finding my twin flame lead

What is twin flame? 

Can you elaborate a bit on your broad approach? Do you suggest investigating avenues of spirituality I've never been to before? 

 Also how do you discern when a method doesn't work for you? Sometimes it's confusing. Some authors like Pema Chodron in "the Wisdom of no escape" advice to just feel whatever you are feeling no matter how difficult the feeling. Isn't it pointless to start looking for a new method every time you hit a rough patch in your practice? Or when it's mostly rough? The climbing of Everest isn't supposed to be an easy task.

[Porphyry Fedotov]

16 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@Porphyry Fedotov

Careful with attributing properties or cause to the mushroom. The big punchline is it’s just a mushroom. 

Maybe I should've used different words. I feel like any psychedelic opens you to conscious high frequency vibrations which transform and attune you to the level they are at. It's like there is a hidden intelligence to this process

It's not that I attributing something specifically to a mushroom. I mostly use them only because I have an easy access to them. Otherwise I would have switched to 5 meo dmt or something like that long ago.

Edited October 31, 2021 by Porphyry Fedotov

[mandyjw]

Consider the "perspective" of an author writing a novel. There are high, lows, there is misunderstanding, there are revelations. Yet the author knows all, and yet also the author knows nothing, they create it on the fly. The character isn't real. The author feels fully what the character feels, but they also don't feel it at all, the character isn't real apart from them. 

Clearing trauma is like this. Harry Potter doesn't by his own volition locate Voldemort's horcruxes or resolve conflict. The very one who has created Voldemort has hidden them, and only the author can resolve anything. 

Now consider your life, trauma, trips, everything with this "perspective". It really isn't a perspective at all, but a stepping out of one. 

[Nahm]

2 hours ago, Porphyry Fedotov said:

Maybe I should've used different words. I feel like any psychedelic opens you to conscious high frequency vibrations which transform and attune you to the level they are at. It's like there is a hidden intelligence to this process

It's not that I attributing something specifically to a mushroom. I mostly use them only because I have an easy access to them. Otherwise I would have switched to 5 meo dmt or something like that long ago.

That is what I’m trying to point to. It’s not the words, it’s how psychedelics are thought of. That the psychedelic is causing anything is just one way of thinking. In the same way, “I feel…” any psychedelic opens you to conscious high frequency vibrations which transform and attune you to the level they are at,” isn’t feeling or emotion, but aversion via the conjecture of levels and attributing the ‘higher level’ to the substance, and crediting it with raising your level or vibration, on the way to some ‘highest level’. It could unnecessarily take hundreds of trips to see through that. Gotta kinda stop and ask yourself so to speak, am I really looking for the connection between purification and breakthroughs though?

[Inliytened1]

3 hours ago, Porphyry Fedotov said:

Hi everybody. I've recently read "The Mind of the Universe" by Christopher Bache. For those who is unfamiliar with his work - he did about 70 high dose LSD (500 and higher) trips. What I found out was revealing and confirmed and clarified my own experience. Basically, before every breakthrough and god realization he had to go through excruciatingly purifying suffering. It seems to me that taking the 'right dosage' of psychedelic isn't enough to have an awakening experience. The psychedelic has to clean up the The Augean Stables of your mind to make room for it. Leo rarely talks about it.

At least it was for Christopher Bache and as I found for me as well. For example - even to get the tiny sample of blissful cosmic love I myself went through tons of trips filled with suffering. It's like in order to experience subtle states of consciousness, your own consciousness has to be pulverized to more subtle formation and attuned. And this process of refinement ain't easy. It's difficult as fuck. I feel like I'm moving very slowly in this direction fighting at every step and even when I surrender - I never do it fully because I still not fully understand how to do it properly. It goes like this - at the beginning of a trip I usually realize that I'm in the midst of internal struggle, and I'm like fuck here we go again. It takes time to get to the point when I surrender (or sometimes not).

For me purification takes two form. First one is getting attacked by very coarse bass-like vibrations which grind and massage my consciousness. I call it cosmic coffee grinder. It takes slightly different forms. Sometimes it accompanied with visuals, sometimes not.

Second one happens when you feel unpleasant feeling like fear until it gest absurdly intense and magnified so that it disappear.

That's what happened to me yesterday. I drunk 3 gr mushroom tea. And most of the trip was suffering. At some point I felt relief when a blob blocking the flow peeled off. Then followed extreme fear which run it course and followed by impatience which run its course as well. Then a brief moment when I kind of surrendered and for a short time became breath and I was an energy flowing through myself peacefully. Then at the end of a trip were usual post effects, all these beautiful but vacuous bells and whistles like fractals and extreme mind-wandering.

Do any of you have similar experience? Can it be somehow related to the particular type of psychedelic?  Christopher Bache used LSD, I usually use mushrooms. I only used LSD once and from my experience it was extremely similar to shrooms.

Also does it have to do with trauma? Because I definitely had a few traumatic experiences in my life (for example I even have a physical manifestation of I guess some trauma - constant ache on the left side of body below heart. There're moments when I don't feel it, but it never goes away)

Any suggestions on to how to improve the quality of trips?

 

I don't know about psychedelics but from what I have learned the importance of suffering is often underestimated when it comes to spirituality and awakening to the Absolute.  It's deeper than just pain or physical suffering..it is deep suffering from selfishness that can grow you.  The more one suffers from their own selfishness the more it tears away layers of the ego that may be untrue - meaning selfishness and lacking in integrity.  This ultimately aligns one more with Truth as one becomes more honest and selfless.   Truth is not just handed to you - the cost is one's survival.   

It doesn't appear this pertains to your question though- but it may offer some value-  and I will ask you.. has the suffering you experienced on trips grown you in any way or made you a better person?  So perhaps for the next trip there would be less suffering?

[Adodd]

My most profound and beneficial trips were also the trips with most suffering involved. This is always the case for me. These have been mushrooms and dmt for me. 

LSD never does much for me spiritually or developmentally. I cant seem to help getting distracted by music or making art or something.

Edited October 31, 2021 by Adodd

[BipolarGrowth]

13 hours ago, Porphyry Fedotov said:

What is twin flame? 

Can you elaborate a bit on your broad approach? Do you suggest investigating avenues of spirituality I've never been to before? 

 Also how do you discern when a method doesn't work for you? Sometimes it's confusing. Some authors like Pema Chodron in "the Wisdom of no escape" advice to just feel whatever you are feeling no matter how difficult the feeling. Isn't it pointless to start looking for a new method every time you hit a rough patch in your practice? Or when it's mostly rough? The climbing of Everest isn't supposed to be an easy task.

Twin flame basically means you meeting a mirror. They will be a completely different personal with all of their own complexities and uniqueness, but a core of what they are, in my opinion on a very deep spiritual level, will be so close to you that it’s like meeting the core of yourself in another. 
 

My advice is keep researching completely new methods from time to time. For me I was essentially pulled to all the right things at the right times through an intuitive process. Don’t drop the methods you have until you find something quite better, and always allow yourself to return to previous methods if the time feels right. This is just what works for me. Maybe a more consistent single technique with huge discipline works for you. I found that doing that only felt allergic to me and caused painful stagnation.