Personal-development is Scam

[something_else]

2 minutes ago, Max8 said:

apparently from my experience it seems that luck plays a huge role when it comes to tangible results.

Yea it plays a huge role. But even if 90% of results are based on pure chance, you want to optimise the 10% that you do control as much as possible

[Preety_India]

@Kalki Avatar in that case Maslow hierarchy of needs gives you the coverage. You get the basic needs met and then you can work on higher needs. It's all about perspective. Whatever helps helps. 

For me it's the other way round. I can't get my basic needs met if my higher plane is empty. Once I get my higher needs met, that's when I start working on my root Chakra. It's like the higher level works as a foundation for the lower. 

Because I don't want to look at things from a purely materialistic paradigm(some people are okay with this) but to me it's kinda incomplete and unfulfilling, kinda empty and vexatious, so I decided I will go on a long journey of spirituality (this was 4 years ago) and then come back to normal life, which I did by the way, I also went on a retreat, I could have done more but I did as much as resources allowed me, last 4 years although painful yet fantastic, I feel very spiritually fulfilled, I can go about mending my root Chakra knowing that I took care of the chaos in my crown Chakra, I feel very grounded now, much more than before as I fulfilled and completed a full 4 year journey, it was a relief and now I feel life can be taken care of, it does not mean that all my problems are solved, not at all, yet a major hurdle was resolved, I had a huge void in me that I felt was a spiritual void, like I needed to know what really was needed, as in spiritual food and now I feel very liberated, truly and fully, there are regular ups and downs of life as usual but feeling spiritually fulfilled is probably the greatest gift of all and it makes everything fall into place.. 

 

[Max8]

Just now, something_else said:

Yea it plays a huge role. But even if 90% of results are based on pure chance, you want to optimise the 10% that you do control as much as possible

yet that what i was doing and.... 

yea nothing 

 

by the way the main obstacles are my mental capabilities  

such as unable to do the work bcz i dont feel like doing it i mean i really dont feel like doing it no matter how much i try to force it 

no motivation 

procrastination procrastination and more procrastination and no matter what videos and books i read about it 

which they usually tell me to  just do it for 5 min or whatever 

it never works bcz of my genetics maybe or my mental health which is a whole new problem that requires solution but again it would be the same thing 

[Kalki Avatar]

@Preety_India We are in a similar position. I probably wouldn't be alive today if the universe did not open the door of supreme knowledge to taste the Truth, since my highest need is Understanding. I dont care about money in my core. Authentically speaking I dont give a fck about posessions, sex etc. Is just that in order to survive one has to almost force himself to do these things for a temporary period of time. If it were for me, I would be a happy enligthened Tarzan in an island. Which I might do some day. 

[EntheogenTruthSeeker]

Listen man, I’ve been 100% in your boat literally a month ago. I said FUCK THIS I’ve had enough, and literally did the basics of personal development, no spiritual or psychological development really. 
 

Take one thing that is in shambles in your life, forget the theory, the self help practices, and literally just devote 3 months to that one area. 
 

Find one habit you could make daily/every other day to make you consistently fix that issue. The most pressing issue in your life must be focused with a laser for at least 3 weeks, then you’ll gain traction and be happier. 
 

Self help has helped you more than you know, because you can’t see the preventive damage it’s done! Meanwhile you were meditating, a bunch of your high school/college friends were doing cocaine, pills, Xanax, etc. I’m sure you focusing on growing yourself has taken you away from disastrous situations.
 

Also, take into fact life gets harder as you get older. So because you were happy before PD means not much. The bar was lower. You got into PD for an authentic reason, so stick with it for 10-20 year timeline, to get real results. 4 years is nothing, bro. In THIS society, we are so toxic, deluded, unhealthy physically/mentally, so much pressure, it’ll take most likely 10 years for you to really get the results you’re looking for.
 

Then, you can pursue spirituality in a proper way.  

 

Follow your intuition. Do shit that is SO easy for you, you feel like you’re actually being lazy or cheating. Do that daily and you will gain crazy momentum. Be easy on yourself. Life is hard! 
 

Keep going man! 

[EntheogenTruthSeeker]

@Kalki Avatar I absolutely love everything you have written on this thread. Your wisdom is beyond

I resonate deeply with your style of explanation. 

[Epikur]

PD helps with selfreflection. You need that like a boxer needing a coach. As we have not the money for a coach we become our own coach.  

 

[Max8]

7 hours ago, Kalki Avatar said:

@Preety_India We are in a similar position. I probably wouldn't be alive today if the universe did not open the door of supreme knowledge to taste the Truth, since my highest need is Understanding. I dont care about money in my core. Authentically speaking I dont give a fck about posessions, sex etc. Is just that in order to survive one has to almost force himself to do these things for a temporary period of time. If it were for me, I would be a happy enligthened Tarzan in an island. Which I might do some day. 

hahahah 
thats sounds a lot like me 

you are  probably a big fan of leo,

[Max8]

@Epikur

it helps with reflection ? 

yea, thats easy and fool could be good at reflection, so what? 

i been doing it for ages and here i am broke as fuck and with terrible life ,

if it couldnt help us solve such simple problems then what is it good for? 

 

[ShardMare]

@Max8 f.e. ive heard meditation first time in my life and ive been doing it for 2yrs. Lot of stress just melts away after it and also I feel so much more conscious after doing it. When i was 13 i had social anxiety lets say 90% and now its kinda 30%. I was just thinking like trash and lived life on auto pilot. I wasted so much time on video games and just falling for low conscious entertainment. I was doing the same thing everyday go to school then go home do the meaningless entertainment. After researching self-help for few weeks i recognized how deep this field is, how much you can grow. There are lots of things i've learned like theres so many vids i watched from him. Few examples: expose yourself to new experience, developing introspection, openmindedness, self deception,how to stop being a victim, illusory nature of thought, advice for highschool students and so much more. I had few realizations, i just started naturally becoming more conscious and it helped a lot on my depression. Imo most people should just meditate and pick up a philosophy book and they would feel so much better. 

 But also you shouldnt read a lot of philosophy and spirituality and these things. Most people have to fix their basic needs: girlfriend, family, friends, good job, nice body etc. If you just read philosophy books without using it for something you will just become a doomer. Fix your sh*t. Under 35 you should only focus on stage orange things, only practical stuff. Dont do nothing with spirituality rn.   

 There was a post exactly like this a few months back. Can somebody link it here? The guy was just speaking about this.

Edited October 30, 2021 by ShardMare

[Max8]

@EntheogenTruthSeeker

5 hours ago, EntheogenTruthSeeker said:

Listen man, I’ve been 100% in your boat literally a month ago. I said FUCK THIS I’ve had enough, and literally did the basics of personal development, no spiritual or psychological development really. 
 

Take one thing that is in shambles in your life, forget the theory, the self help practices, and literally just devote 3 months to that one area. 
 

Find one habit you could make daily/every other day to make you consistently fix that issue. The most pressing issue in your life must be focused with a laser for at least 3 weeks, then you’ll gain traction and be happier. 
 

Self help has helped you more than you know, because you can’t see the preventive damage it’s done! Meanwhile you were meditating, a bunch of your high school/college friends were doing cocaine, pills, Xanax, etc. I’m sure you focusing on growing yourself has taken you away from disastrous situations.
 

Also, take into fact life gets harder as you get older. So because you were happy before PD means not much. The bar was lower. You got into PD for an authentic reason, so stick with it for 10-20 year timeline, to get real results. 4 years is nothing, bro. In THIS society, we are so toxic, deluded, unhealthy physically/mentally, so much pressure, it’ll take most likely 10 years for you to really get the results you’re looking for.
 

Then, you can pursue spirituality in a proper way.  

 

Follow your intuition. Do shit that is SO easy for you, you feel like you’re actually being lazy or cheating. Do that daily and you will gain crazy momentum. Be easy on yourself. Life is hard! 
 

Keep going man! 

i head a breakdown last year with PD and i decided that i want to do very simple practical self help only and thats what i was doing for a year  but here i am with great disappointment  

 

by the way i have 24 free time no social media no friend no distraction at all all i was doing is self help but it never worked for me, probably bcz those advices i was receiving are like  prescription that is giving to you and everyone without examining us. 

[Max8]

3 hours ago, lxlichael said:

@Max8 yeah who needs it.

I'm right now staring into your soul.

Do you really believe it?

It's okay Ob1-Kenobi.

~ peace ~

Otherwise people have lost all aesthetics when it comes to clickbaiting others these days, they just put no effort into it because they know you'll just buy right into it. Taste the bud, sniff it up, feel the rush, onto the next clickbait fix for yal. Back to the void...

im very aware of those traps from the beginning and thats why i was carefully watching specific gurus that i believe are  legit such as leo 

and a few others that i thought were decent 

[Epikur]

1 hour ago, Max8 said:

@Epikur

it helps with reflection ? 

yea, thats easy and fool could be good at reflection, so what? 

i been doing it for ages and here i am broke as fuck and with terrible life ,

if it couldnt help us solve such simple problems then what is it good for? 

 

Actually selfreflexion is quite difficult. You have to constantly measure lots of variables and study methods. Like in my example with a coach. Every boxer has a coach. Still some boxers can not make it to the top. The point is the coach in some form is needed. 

Imagine you are reparing a computer. You have to analyze what is going on to be able to solve it. You have to learn first how to analyze a computer first. Still some computers are so broken it is hard to find what is broken and to find out how or if you can repair it. 

 

Edited October 30, 2021 by Epikur

[Max8]

25 minutes ago, Epikur said:

Actually selfreflexion is quite difficult. You have to constantly measure lots of variables and study methods. Like in my example with a coach. Every boxer has a coach. Still some boxers can not make it to the top. The point is the coach in some form is needed. 

Imagine you are reparing a computer. You have to analyze what is going on to be able to solve it. You have to learn first how to analyze a computer first. Still some computers are so broken it is hard to find what is broken and to find out how or if you can repair it. 

 

i like self reflection and i have been doing it ever since i start self help 

[Max8]

58 minutes ago, lxlichael said:

@Max8 Choose homeless people. They more know than you real-eyes. 

Why am I commenting back. It feels polite. Maybe the world is ending soon so he could be the last person I'm speaking to. That'd be a shame because I really wanted to go out having my last words with Bowie and a sweetheart.

what are you smoking ?

[Epikur]

1 hour ago, Max8 said:

i like self reflection and i have been doing it ever since i start self help 

Well that means you like self improvement. That is the core.

Do not forget it is still a progress if it helped you regress less.

Anyway I want to give a small example from recently. I was procrastinating for 3 weeks with a project. I did my usual routines like meditation and others but I could just not do it. I was a bit addicted to the Internet. Anyway I looked for things to try to get it going. One guy had a sentence that I am supposed to write 10 minutes in the morning and 10 in the evening. So I tried and it worked. The next day I could break the internet addiction so I could start the project.

Well these small victories make all the difference and adds up.

Maybe it should be called Personal Regression Lessening. So the expectations do not get too high and create dissapointments


 

Edited October 30, 2021 by Epikur

[Leo Gura]

13 hours ago, Max8 said:

such as unable to do the work bcz i dont feel like doing it i mean i really dont feel like doing it no matter how much i try to force it 

no motivation 

procrastination procrastination and more procrastination and no matter what videos and books i read about it

This is why you aren't not getting results.

Nothing surprising here.

It's like you're listening to people talking about doing push-ups but you never do any push-ups. Of course then you won't get results.

If you don't enjoy self-improvement then maybe stop reading/listening/watching about it and go do whatever you enjoy.

People who are into self-help have a passion for self-help itself even more so than its fruits. If all you want is the fruits but you don't enjoy the process and don't want to do it, then yeah, it will be a grind.

Personal development is not a scam. You can evolve yourself a lot in many ways.

[kamwalker]

I don’t understand the premise. Self-improvement is exactly what it is. You find ways to make your experience of life more enjoyable for yourself. It’s not that complicated. It only doesn’t work if you don’t actually do it. if you watch videos of someone else telling you how to help yourself but you ignore everything then of course nothing will change 

[AminB501]

@Max8 What are you talking about man is not that farfetched as you see it. Let's take the concept of discipline, which is a muscle you either grow or it does. The problem is you have weird notions of how development works that are not real and you're realizing this than blaming the industry instead of your expectations.

Let's take a person who is lazy and doesn't have a career, he can apply some techniques to get courage, maybe he decides to go into graphic design, studies the principles, studies great pros, practices and get's better until people reach out to him.

Then he grows whatever deficiencies it has that stand between him and his goal, this could be social skills, discipline skills, persuasion skills, productivity skills... He gets all those skills and finally, he has value, he has muscle. This would be a real personal development journey.

[Gesundheit2]

I don't know about you, but personal development has completely changed my life beyond anything I could ever imagine.

Personal development is not particularly the best way to reach success. In fact, it's almost a distraction if you're not careful. Success requires hard-work, patience, persistence, vision, and a bunch of other stuff that have almost no relation to self-help. Nobody can give you these things. You already have them, you just gotta be wise enough to use them. With self-help, you develop your mindset and you gain wisdom and insight so that you can become better at executing the steps required to reach success. But you still have to actually take the steps nevertheless, and that requires putting in the work, and getting out of the comfort zone. Developing your mind alone will not create success.

If you want to be successful, simply work hard, there are no shortcuts and there will never be. Nobody can become a master just by sitting on their ass, watching YouTube videos and reading books. There are levels to success, and you only get to the highest level after going through the little successes, and the many failures along the way. It's a baby-step process. The more work and effort you put, the more progress you make.