Personal-development is Scam

[Max8]

been in this field for over 4 years an a half and all i had is the illusion of growth

its all pure mental masturbation and a real pyramid scheme nothing really changes about your life it's really just you thinking that you know better than everyone around you and that you are spending your time wisely and that you are doing important stuff it's all a lie  tbh

and those gurus are only successful bcz they are selling your this scam and make money out of your struggles and sell you the illusion and hope of real success 
if you disagree 
take  an honest rational look at your growth so far and count what tangible results have you gotten only from doing self help 

or show yourself a real successful person who made it in perosnal developlement but not a guru bcz gurus like i said they are just selling you a pyramid scheme 

 

 

Edited October 29, 2021 by Max8

[Terell Kirby]

Anyone who has truly done personal development knows it's not a scam..

My entire life has changed for the better due to personal development, and I plan on committing my life to it.

You have a right to your perspective, and I have a right to mine. But know that your perspective is only partial, and subjective to your own personal experience. What your ego deems true is not true for everyone.

[ShardMare]

Yes i agree with you it can get to mental masturbation very easily.

U have to choose which content is meaningful and practical for you. You have to do stuff not just theorize ofc

For me it has done wonders. I've fixed lot of my sh*tty thinking

[Nahm]

Yep. Scam is bit harsh though imo. Sometimes it’s deception, but most often it’s thought attachment, and actually beliving what’s being said. 

[Striving for more]

@Max8 This feeling is horrible & I can relate. 

 

Just find videos or books that relate your specific problem. Immediately start doing the exercises or relating the theory to your own life, and less is more, do 1 book or 1 video per week, or perhaps even per month sometimes, sometimes you may even want to leave all theory behind for 6 months and just go chase money or sex ect.. 

 

Edited October 29, 2021 by Striving for more

[Kalki Avatar]

My life actually improved when I stopped self development, lol. 

All you need is contemplation and massive action. Go make money and forget all the bs. Then when your done, go straight to spirituality. Thats it. 

[Max8]

@Terell Kirby
so name a few things pls that you have gained from doing personal development ?

and make sure it was only possible by doing self help and that u could never have gotten it  if u werent doing it otherwise 

[Max8]

@ShardMare

pls name a few things.

[Max8]

7 minutes ago, Kalki Avatar said:

My life actually improved when I stopped self development, lol. 

All you need is contemplation and massive action. Go make money and forget all the bs. Then when your done, go straight to spirituality. Thats it. 

i agree with you 
before i knew about self help i was doing better .

and about spirituality, i dont recommend anyone to go very deep into this path bcz it can be extremely scary 

like seriously scary that might make u go insane or commit suicide  

 

[Terell Kirby]

16 minutes ago, Max8 said:

@Terell Kirby
so name a few things pls that you have gained from doing personal development ?

and make sure it was only possible by doing self help and that u could never have gotten it  if u werent doing it otherwise 

I’m not going to spoon feed you the benefits of personal development through words.

This work requires commitment and integrity to follow through on your word, to yourself and to others.

Challenge yourself to discover the benefits of personal development through actually doing the work..and not retreating when things get difficult.

[Max8]

@Striving for more

i have tried this many times but in practice it wont work, giving human psychology i mean lack of motivation

procrastination and emotional problems and enovermntal obstacles etc 

and there are many more obstacles that it seems simple to overcome but in reality it extremely challenging for the average person

 

 

[Seth]

Personal development is what you make of it.

[Max8]

4 minutes ago, Terell Kirby said:

This work requires commitment and integrity to follow through on your word, to yourself and to others.

Challenge yourself to discover the benefits of personal development through actually doing the work..and not retreating when things get difficult.

thanks for NOT  naming the actual results u might have gotten. 
and that of course bcz u dont want to spoon feed me. 

 

and about commitment and hard work and follow through 

you are stating the obvious,  

i mean who do u think u are talking to ? we have been doing this for years !

and everyone literally everyone knows that you have to work hard and commit to it and follow through 

even a 10 year old who doesnt know about this filed if u asked them what success requires they would mention items very similar to what you just said 
 

b

[Terell Kirby]

2 minutes ago, Max8 said:

i mean who do u think u are talking to ? we have been doing this for years !

Obviously you haven’t.

[Max8]

@Seth

6 minutes ago, Seth said:

Personal development is what you make of it.

u mean it depends on the person who does it 

 

but if that was the case it would be like saying math is only for those who are good at it 

and that would defeat the whole point of self help bcz that mean not everyone can make it 

[Max8]

Just now, Terell Kirby said:

Obviously you haven’t.

this is honestly offensive and disrespectful  to  me and others who couldnt make it. 

after all those hard years of suffering money and time wasted and work sacrifice have done and went through  

here come you who is trying to convince himself that this actually work bcz you are afraid that what im saying could possibly be true 

if you are a fan of leo like i am and have seen and practiced  all of his work

you would introspect more within yourself 

[yetineti]

6 minutes ago, Max8 said:

@Seth

u mean it depends on the person who does it 

 

but if that was the case it would be like saying math is only for those who are good at it 

and that would defeat the whole point of self help bcz that mean not everyone can make it 

Yeah, not everyone can make it.

Does not mean it doesn’t work.

Also doesn’t mean there are not people out there just trying to make money.

Self-Help changed my life. Changed the way I think, eat, interact, approach things.

I’m not perfect, at all, my I am sure way better off after finding the field of self help.

 

 

[Preety_India]

My life improved big time since doing personal development 

• Gained social skills (not too much as I'm slow at picking speed) 
• Did shadow work and figured that my childhood trauma was responsible for my emotional issues. I was stuck for many years thinking that there was something wrong with me but wasn't able to figure out exactly what was making me feel empty. When I did personal development and came to the forum, I came across shadow work suggested by some user here and I did that and uncovered the root cause of my emotional issues. That was a breakthrough and it helped to remove that emptiness I felt for years. 
• Helped me get creative with my art work 
• Interacting with others made me realize how far behind I was in terms of personal growth and that became the drive to work harder on myself. 
• I was stuck in an abusive relationship for 3 years not realizing why I was not leaving. There was nobody in my family I could talk to because nobody would pay attention to my issues. Coming here and getting feedback from people made me aware that the relationship will cause me more harm so I eventually broke up. I did not have the awareness of how damaging the relationship would have been if people didn't tell me their own stories and struggles. I left that relationship and since then I found a lot of mental peace. Otherwise I would have ended up in a hospital. 
• It helped me regain confidence that I can work on myself and still look forward to a happy future despite my past. Seeing people in similar situations not only gave me hope but also helpful tips and advice to deal with my own situations. 
• Self development helped me in my spiritual growth. Although it's hard to pinpoint what spiritual growth looks like it is something up to the experiencer to decide what level of growth they are achieving 
• Before coming to the forum I was not a vegan. I changed my habits and adopted stage Green values. I was already a mix of blue and green but the forum and resources on Spiral Dynamics gave me a framework to focus on and helped me to quickly adapt to Stage Green values and systems. 
• Self development taught me the importance of self care which I lack miserably. 
• My English skills improved 
• My communication and articulation improved, although not so much, since I tend to grow slowly, but Its miles away from what my communication was back in 2018. Huge progress in comparison 
• Self development taught me people skills and handling different kinds of people both offline and online which I really sucked at because of my terrible social anxiety. Now it's manageable although I don't feel fully confident, I came a long way from who I was in 2017/2018.

 

Yea self development did not change my life radically but slowly. Yet without it I probably would have killed myself in 2017 out of frustration of not being able to improve or grow. 

 

[Max8]

Just now, mw711 said:

 

Self-Help changed my life. Changed the way I think, eat, interact, approach things.

I’m not perfect, at all, my I am sure way better off after finding the field of self help.

 

 

my friend i never doubts that it didnt changed the way you think eat and interact or approach things 
for sure, that actually happened to me and probably for everyone who does self help but thats about it 

no actual tangible results such as:

making money, master money

having a girlfriend, become good with women 
overcoming social anxiety permanently and become great at socializing giving that you were the opposite 

and great mental health and overall well being 

 

now you have to make sure that you actually have gotten those in practical everyday life not that you know better or know how or have the illusion of success that a trick 

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Max8 said:

making money, master money

having a girlfriend, become good with women 
overcoming social anxiety permanently and become great at socializing giving that you were the opposite 

and great mental health and overall well being 

 

now you have to make sure that you actually have gotten those in practical everyday life not that you know better or know how or have the illusion of success that a trick 

Making money is a part of your core skill set. It's how much you have to offer in a particular industry. Self help and personal development can help you hone your skills but if you are already lacking a lot, then it can't do much. You need to have some leverage to work on.

Personal development definitely helps with social anxiety. My social anxiety was like 80% when I first joined the forum. Now it's reduced to 50% I think. I mean in terms of symptoms intensity. 

In fact my social skills were practically zero before joining the forum because I was very reserved and shy. But after joining the forum I became slightly extroverted but that's a huge difference for someone like me. It helped a lot with people skills

 

If you asked me in 2018 to write something, I would have written only a word, not even a sentence. Now when I talk to people I can write so much more. This was impossible back then. 

Now when I talk to people in regular life, my social skills are not too bad. Still improving. 

Regarding relationships, well, personal development can tell what kind of relationships you need to avoid, but relationship is an area in life where only experience can work, too much talk is futile. However watching different videos and reading books can give you helpful insights on the nature of relationships and what sort of traps to avoid. 

At the end of the day, personal development is a measure, a scale, a pointer, you're the user, you have to implement all those points. What you do with it is up to you 

 

But it's not a scam. It helps a lot if you are willing to use it to the fullest extent.