Stuck, Confused, Bewildered, Muddled, Lost... Help!

[Anon212]

Sorry about the title, I really do love my synonyms. I just have some serious life questions and I was hoping I could draw upon the infinite wisdom and experience of actualized forum users and of course God himself/herself/itself.

Alright in all seriousness, I do find myself kind of stuck in life. I am a 21 year old graduate. I studied physiology in uni and finished up a couple of months ago. I've been moving quite slowly since. Initially I moved home but I found it difficult to live with my religious parents so I left quite fast. I  became interested in e-commerce and started studying that quite deeply but I needed a job to keep myself ticking over. I ended up taking a job in a bakery which is not bad to be honest but I certainly am not fulfilled there. Right now my costs are very low (I live with a wonderful friend) and I save money while only working three days a week.

Now here is the bind, more recently I paid $5000 for a marketing and copywriting course. I mean it when I say that I am deriving more value from this course than I did from college. It's phenomenal. But at the same time, I feel so fucking lost man. I don't know what I'm doing, where I am going or what comes next. During this period I turned down a few professional jobs and a PhD offer which now makes me a but uneasy but I have no drive to work 40-50 hours a week on silly shit right now. My friends are progressing in their careers and making dolla bills while I'm sitting back trying to figure out what to do. I've done the life purpose course twice but I still can't pinpoint exactly what I want to do. I decided to learn marketing simply because deep down I know I will run a business one day. 

 

So this is where I am. I feel like the spiritual side of things for me is strong. I've been following Leo for years and have been meditating for the last three to four years. I spent most of my time in college alone just focusing on spirituality. It was worth it. It totally changed my life, however there are two key areas in my life lacking right and I don't know how to tackle it. 

 

I have never had a girlfriend and my game fucking sucks. 

My career is in limbo (this is where I really feel lost, the girl stuff doesn't bother me as much).

 

Where do I began? What do I focus on? What the fuck do I do? I don't know what the next step is? Do I just keep working and doing the course? Should I get a professional job just for some experience? Or should I start clubbing and getting laid? I am genuinely confused. I honestly don't know what to do. I have a strong work ethic and I'm working away every day and learning lots but I'm just lost. Lost, lost, lost. Any and all advice is appreciated. Thanks in advance! 

 

 

 

 

[Terell Kirby]

@Anon212 can you answer me this (be as honest as possible here....no bullshit). 

If you had absolutely no fear (about situations, other people, yourself), what specific steps would you take to improve your life?

Send a list...don't think to hard about it, just write it down as it comes from your gut. This exercise will scare you, but do it anyway..

[RobertZ]

Hi @Anon212, 

I don't have any good advice but here is what comes to my mind. 

The nice thing about formal systems (like higher education or professional jobs) is that they promise some degree of progress. At least you might not completely waste your time--and that might be worth considering.  'Even if you are not thinking clearly, just follow these rules, and you will be better off.' Maybe these systems fulfill on these promises. Maybe not. But what is your likelihood of you spinning your tires without running through the rat race? I hesitate to be too critical of 'mainstream' activities, like employment. For example, immediately after university I invested my career in a business that turned out to be a complete failure--in the garbage failure. That field is over for me. I don't know if I regret my choice of starting my own business, instead of working as an employee, but I made my choice and I suffered my consequences a burnout. 

You had multiple professional job offers and an opportunity to do a PhD and turned them down? You do know that some people would be jealous of your opportunities, right? So, you are not looking for compassion. Yet, you face a lonely suffering. Maybe you want some empathy?

I have been lost before. Getting lost, for me, was scary. When I was a kid, I got lost in the mountains with my friend. After long years and screaming in the rain, we irrationally ran away from a highway we found, just as the sun peaked though. We decided that "there might be an axe murderer driving along the highway hunting for little kids." After crawling up through thorn bushes, we finally found our families. Our families asked us why we ran away from the highway (they saw us from a vantage when we peeked at the highway, but we ran back into the forest): We were scared.  Maybe there was an axe murderer on the highway--but our fear drove an irrational decision. We were lost and needed finding--not hiding in the forest from an imaginary child-hunter. Being lost sucks. I'm sorry to hear that you feel lost. Obviously you are smarter than me and my friend, if you're are asking people for help. 

One benefit of doing what you are doing is that you are saving some money when you are young. The core way to get wealthy is to invest money when you are young--for exponential growth over decades (a reason for investing that is very different than day traders, who are look for cents each day). 

You could get some professional experience. "People want experience," so they say. After all, you didn't spend your time partying it up during uni; so you could capitalize on your academic advantage. You will have cash to blow (and save), while some of your your classmates are wondering what happened. 

You could go clubbing. Maybe it's high time to pick up on lost enjoyment of life?I feel a lot of profound sadness about my life and far be it from me to dissuade anyone from enjoying their life. Let me give a hint--I didn't go clubbing. I don't know how much credit to give to give to the idea of 'getting it out of your system when your young.'

One person I used to listen to was Terrence McKenna--yes, Tao-te-ching-increasing-complexification-of-the-universe-Terence-McKenna. The reason I liked to listen to him was because he seemed to make a hypothesis with his life. One of his suggestions was, 'take 5 grams of dried magic mushrooms in silent darkness.' Now, the outcome of his life is highly ambiguous--and that outcome is significant for his experiments. For example, as he approached his death, he was quite terrified of taking psilocybin, even though he had lived on psilocybin mushrooms (for nourishment) for a long period: taking psychedelics was one of his life hypotheses. 

The answer to a hypothesis might not be, "Yes, you are 100% correct." The answer to the question might be more confounding than the question. I'm not saying that taking 5 grams and musing on your life memories your life is even necessary for you. However, McKenna gave an example of running with his interests, even though these interests raised more than a few eye brows. I can vividly imagine his voice saying, "Come to love the ambiguity."

Edited November 13, 2021 by RobertZ

[Leo Gura]

On 10/27/2021 at 10:02 AM, Anon212 said:

deep down I know I will run a business one day.

How about you get to work on that?

This isn't rocket science. Work on what you know you want.

You can work on game on Fri & Sat Night after your work on biz.

You are so young that you shouldn't have these things figured out yet. But you should start working towards them.

[something_else]

On 27/10/2021 at 6:02 PM, Anon212 said:

Now here is the bind, more recently I paid $5000 for a marketing and copywriting course

What the fuck

I've never taken a course worth that much but I can't even imagine how any course could be worth $5k

Fuck, I hope you got some value from that