Emotional Bucket

[Raphael]

I'll use this journal to throw out emotions.

[Raphael]

I currently feel conflicted. I'm not sure what to do nor what to think about. I thought about writing an answer on this forum, then shit happened and thought about creating a post in the Dating & Relationship subforum.

I just don't know what to do. I feel exasperated, paralyzed. I cannot make a decision right now. I either want to write an answer, ask some questions or do nothing.

I think that I'm just going to stay with myself and do nothing. I'm going to appreciate my own company.

[Raphael]

I feel weak. Weak for not being able to make a decision, weak for not being able to assert myself, weak for being afraid, weak for being weak.

Edited October 27, 2021 by Raphael

[Raphael]

Weak for having difficulties processing my emotions and emotionally opening up.

[Raphael]

Weak for having difficulties giving emotional support.

[Raphael]

Weak for shutting up.

[Raphael]

Sigh...

[Etherial Cat]

@Raphael

16 minutes ago, Raphael said:

I currently feel conflicted. I'm not sure what to do nor what to think about. I thought about writing an answer on this forum, then shit happened and thought about creating a post in the Dating & Relationship subforum.

I just don't know what to do. I feel exasperated, paralyzed. I cannot make a decision right now. I either want to write an answer, ask some questions or do nothing.

I think that I'm just going to stay with myself and do nothing. I'm going to appreciate my own company.

You can anytime send me a DM.

9 minutes ago, Raphael said:

Weak for having difficulties processing my emotions and emotionally opening up.

That seems very common in men, you know.

Guys are emotionally suppressed and taught to disregards emotions and see them as something weak which needs to be controlled. So it's a bit of a paradox.

[Raphael]

@Etherial Cat

Maybe not immediately because I'm thinking through things.

Edited October 28, 2021 by Raphael

[Raphael]

I currently feel overwhelmed. A lot of things are starting to happen in my life and I have difficulties handling them.

• I'm getting new opportunities, people are contacting me.
• I see the big picture, I know what to integrate, what to fix, what to do, and I'm starting to do all that.
• I know where I'm going.
• Some results are even starting to materialize.

But I feel so overblown. Oh god, this is so difficult to handle. That's a lot of change simultaneously.

[Raphael]

Also... I'M FUCKING SICK OF NOISES AROUND ME ALL DAY LONG. I'M SICK OF IT, LITERALLY SICK, SICK, SICK, SICK.

THEY ARE ANIMALS AROUND ME, THEY ARE PEOPLE WHO BEHAVE LIKE ANIMALS, THERE IS TRAFFIC ON THE ROAD, THERE ARE CONSTRUCTIONS ALL DAY LONG. PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP ONCE AND FOR ALL, I just want some calm and some peacefulness. I'm sick of noises, I'm sick of being interrupted by noises. I want a calm life where I can concentrate on what I'm doing.

Offfffffff...

I'm sorry, that may look aggressive but I'm not that angry as I'm writing that, just annoyed that I have to deal with this agitation every day.

Anyway, things are getting better, I'm searching for a calm place to rent and even if I haven't found it yet I know that I'll find it.

Edited October 29, 2021 by Raphael

[Loving Radiance]

In addition to this journal, it may also be useful for you to express emotions through the body.

Here is a playlist to emotional expression tools by ISTA https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLLKmB51wF7NlDZgRnxUlt7BF60VQtciuH

Edited October 29, 2021 by Loving Radiance

[Raphael]

@Loving Radiance Thanks.

[Raphael]

I hope that I don't scare the shit out of you with this journal lol

Just to reassure everyone here: I'm overall fine, I experience emotions and I throw them out, that's all.