Insights

[Raphael]

I'm going to use this journal to record quick and simple thoughts that I have throughout my days.

[Raphael]

Why is it so much difficult for us men to emotionally open up? And why is it so much difficult for me to open up and share my vulnerabilities?

[Raphael]

3 hours ago, Raphael said:

Why is it so much difficult for me to open up and share my vulnerabilities?

• Genetics + a shy nature
• Toxic masculinity: men should be tough, men shouldn't cry, men should take actions first without caring about emotions, etc.
• An oppressive, hyper-dominant, hyper-masculine dad who didn't let me room for proper self-expression
• A limited environment
• Unusual thoughts that aren't commonly accepted
• Awareness of people suffering while at the same time experiencing the impossibility to help them because they are suffering too much (but this might be a limiting belief)
• Difficult previous experiences at school and in work environments where I felt oppressed and couldn't healthily express myself
• Fear of judgments and criticisms because I have been highly criticized while growing up
• Traumas

Edited October 26, 2021 by Raphael

[Raphael]

I gave some hugs to my sister today. This is far better compared to how emotionally closed I was when I was 18.

[Raphael]

What I currently feel that I want the most is to build a few deep, authentic, and genuine relationships with people that I appreciate.

[Raphael]

My masculine/feminine balance is a bit weird:

• When I'm with a hypermasculine guy, I feel oppressed and don't want to do anything
• When I'm around women I become a bit too masculine and want to do too much shit

Edited October 28, 2021 by Raphael

[Raphael]

There's a lot of things to learn about ourselves on this forum by observing the people that we come across. They are our shadows, they are reflections of who we are and display:

• Qualities that we have or want
• Issues that we have and/or trying to fix
• Things that we reject and can't accept

Edited October 28, 2021 by Raphael

[Raphael]

Clearing work-related traumas is going to be one of the most powerful thing for me.

Edited October 29, 2021 by Raphael

[Raphael]

The past 4 years have been tough for me, really tough. I'm finally seeing some hope after so much pain.

[Raphael]

I don't need that many journals on this forum, I'm thinking about stopping that. This is tricky because people can help me, but at the same time, my ego wants to show itself.

[Raphael]

It feels much more personal and authentic to journal privately, however, people can help us when we journal publicly.

Edited October 29, 2021 by Raphael

[Raphael]

I'm currently a bit sliced in half about journaling here vs. stopping journaling.

[Raphael]

I want to analyze a bit these journals and only keep the essential ones.