So I went on this date with this amazing Polish girl. A real blue haired brunette lolita. I approached this girl and it was a walk in the park to seduce her. Next day we went on a date. Everything was fine. We eat some pizza and went for a walk (and smoked sisha later on) In the park we were looking at some cows and I delicately grapped her from the back and I asked if I could kiss her (the first mistake) I shouldn't have asked but should have used body language and my hands to direct the kiss but she decline because she doesn't do that on the first date. Later on she said fuck boys would do that to her (kiss her and probably get more), but she didn't want to kiss me because I wasn't? That was my conclusion. But all in all I failed to establish the fuckboy frame and I was obviously disappointed. She held my hands and it felt good but I felt like a cuck. It took me two minutes or something to let it go and become not butt hurt about it. I'm glad I tried it but I don't know. I'm already doing pickup for months right now and I still can't establish the fuckboy frame. It is basically that I'm feeling inferior to her? This video explains my point very well but how to materialize it and own it? I watched this video before the date and I clearly failed. I'm very negative about my date today and I'm trying to see the glass half full. Last year I could only dream to go on a date with such a girl so I'm making progress but these kind of setbacks put me out of my equilibrium. I really  had to create this thread because I feel like a little puppy and I know it shouldn't have influenced me this much. So what I'm really asking is how I can be myself without being so needy. There were some comments from her to me that really made me doubt myself. For example I told her I don't do cannabis because it makes me quite and she told me that I was already quite as I'm. That is true and that is why it hurt me. I know I should just own that quality but my inclination is just to modify myself to be like a fuckboy? I'm not happy about how girls treat me like dirt and award the fuckboys. This girl literally told me - indirectly - she does reward fuckboys and it just pains my heart that girls reward such guys and punish (nice) guys like me and I don't know how to deal with it! To be honest I don't want to become a fuckboy. I just want to be myself, without being boring and too silent in her presence. I also made some stupid comments like telling her that nicotine is poison! We were smoking sisha and she just stopped smoking it and it kind of killed the mood. I really need to step out of this logical/intellectual mode and I can be that for some while but eventually I turn to my real self where I'm boring and very quite.