How to feel equal or higher value than beautiful girls

[StarStruck]

38 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Keep doing practices like this.

Be careful with pickup. You have the emotional constitution and psychology of a sociopathic right now, you could really hurt someone until you get yourself together,

My advice, focus less on pickup and more on practices.

Calling me a sociopath is like calling a wolf without sharp teeth a predator. I wish I was a wolf with sharp teeth.

[Raptorsin7]

Just now, StarStruck said:

Calling me a sociopath is like calling a wolf without sharp teeth a predator. I wish I was a wolf with sharp teeth.

Yeah, yeah. It won't be funny if you get a sexual assault charge or some of other bs like that.

Hurt people hurt people. Until you solve your root issues you are a walking liability

[StarStruck]

3 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Yeah, yeah. It won't be funny if you get a sexual assault charge or some of other bs like that.

Hurt people hurt people. Until you solve your root issues you are a walking liability

I'm already doing therapy. I don't know what you want me to do more.

[Raptorsin7]

Just now, StarStruck said:

I'm already doing therapy. I don't know what you want me to do more.

I want you to take a step back from pickup until you don't have the psychology of a crazy person. 

[StarStruck]

1 minute ago, Raptorsin7 said:

I want you to take a step back from pickup until you don't have the psychology of a crazy person. 

You don't know me enough to make such statements. I wish I was crazy; girls love that. And I know that for a fact.

[Raptorsin7]

Just now, StarStruck said:

You don't know me enough to make such statements. I wish I was crazy; girls love that. And I know that for a fact.

Maybe I don't. But my warning stands nonetheless. 

Therapy and meditation should be enough to make you healthy. At the very least make sure you stick with those.

[Harlen Kelly]

1 hour ago, StarStruck said:

I'm just being done with being nice. And for a nice guy it is not possible to be 50% less nice. I noticed that I really have to swing to the opposite side of the pendulum.

There are not that many things that are as repulsive to women as being overly nice and meek.

Just keep practicing and interacting with women as frequently as possible, you will eventually develop the skills but it requires constant practice.

Spend more time doing approaches and less time getting distracted by noise.

Edited October 28, 2021 by Harlen Kelly

[zazen]

2 hours ago, StarStruck said:

Thank you so much for posting this! This is what I really needed to hear.

I'm a guy who didn't get the love and attention from my mother. The article says such guys are not naive enough to expect real love from a female. That is not correct. I do expect unconditional love from a girl on an emotional level. It is hard to stamp that need out because I desire something I didn't get from my mother.

I will talk about this topic with my therapist.

Great your seeing a therapist, keep it up! I guess it was generalised but of course there are exceptions. Also, society conditions us to also expect this idealised type of love which is unfair both to men and to women for pressuring them to deliver on that. Romanticism, disney and religion played on this idea of the romanticised ideal of love or that theres the 'one' in order to keep marriages lasting. This idea of the 'one' leads to distress and depression to those who believed in it totally only to be cheated on or left. In reality, there are many 'ones' we can be with. Realise, the body may need a mate, the mind may need a mate, but your soul doesn't need a mate for it is non dual. 

 In the past, we lived in tight knitted communities and tribes so we would get different needs met by a number of people. Today as we are more individualised and have less stronger social ties we expect the other partner to be everything for us such as friend, confidant, therapist, mother/father, business partner, soul mate, intellectual etc. Be social in general and have friends, this way you don't put such burdens on single people or your future partner. 

 

2 hours ago, StarStruck said:

I'm just being done with being nice. And for a nice guy it is not possible to be 50% less nice. I noticed that I really have to swing to the opposite side of the pendulum.

Nice defined ; from Old French, from Latin nescius ‘ignorant’, from nescire ‘not know’.  Be good, not nice or a jerk. Those are both extremes. What is the nice guy ignorant of : of himself, being in touch with himself or his true nature of which there is the lower and the higher, the animal and the divine, the beast and the bhudda. Women essentially seek strength in its many forms, great strength comes from integration within ourselves. Jerks are in touch only with their animal self (their balls), however they still signal strength on a primal level which is why they get the girls. Nice guys are too in their mind and cutting themselves off from their lower nature and so no primal strength is there, only intellectual strength. The good guy is in touch and integrated with all, the balls the head and the heart and so signals the most strength. 

 

Women don't like the guy to be the jerk, they like the strength and power that comes with it. You can show strength and power in a healthy manner. Don't be nice, don't be ignorant, become aware of your true self. When you get in touch with yourself and become integrated, you will have power and strength. Exercise to get in touch with your body, do loving kindness meditation to get in touch with the heart and have compassion, continue to understand reality for what it is not what you wish it to be, to get stronger mentally, meditate to get stronger spiritual by connection to soul. And then to communicate that value to the outside world and women, get stronger socially. It's not enough to just have value, social skill skills is about communicating that value.

 

Edited October 28, 2021 by zazen

[StarStruck]

41 minutes ago, zazen said:

Great your seeing a therapist, keep it up! I guess it was generalised but of course there are exceptions. Also, society conditions us to also expect this idealised type of love which is unfair both to men and to women for pressuring them to deliver on that. Romanticism, disney and religion played on this idea of the romanticised ideal of love or that theres the 'one' in order to keep marriages lasting. This idea of the 'one' leads to distress and depression to those who believed in it totally only to be cheated on or left. In reality, there are many 'ones' we can be with. Realise, the body may need a mate, the mind may need a mate, but your soul doesn't need a mate for it is non dual. 

Agreed. But I don't believe in that fairy tail crap anyway. My frustration comes from not being accepted as I am. Because women tell me just be yourself; they are totally clueless.

Quote

 In the past, we lived in tight knitted communities and tribes so we would get different needs met by a number of people. Today as we are more individualised and have less stronger social ties we expect the other partner to be everything for us such as friend, confidant, therapist, mother/father, business partner, soul mate, intellectual etc. Be social in general and have friends, this way you don't put such burdens on single people or your future partner. 

I'm not good at making friends though because I'm so needy/unhappy/clueless. I hope pickup will weed out my neediness which will make it easier to make friends.

Quote

Nice defined ; from Old French, from Latin nescius ‘ignorant’, from nescire ‘not know’.  Be good, not nice or a jerk. Those are both extremes. What is the nice guy ignorant of : of himself, being in touch with himself or his true nature of which there is the lower and the higher, the animal and the divine, the beast and the bhudda. Women essentially seek strength in its many forms, great strength comes from integration within ourselves. Jerks are in touch only with their animal self (their balls), however they still signal strength on a primal level which is why they get the girls. Nice guys are too in their mind and cutting themselves off from their lower nature and so no primal strength is there, only intellectual strength. The good guy is in touch and integrated with all, the balls the head and the heart and so signals the most strength. 

True.

Quote

Women don't like the guy to be the jerk, they like the strength and power that comes with it. You can show strength and power in a healthy manner. Don't be nice, don't be ignorant, become aware of your true self. When you get in touch with yourself and become integrated, you will have power and strength. Exercise to get in touch with your body, do loving kindness meditation to get in touch with the heart and have compassion, continue to understand reality for what it is not what you wish it to be, to get stronger mentally, meditate to get stronger spiritual by connection to soul. And then to communicate that value to the outside world and women, get stronger socially. It's not enough to just have value, social skill skills is about communicating that value.

How to know I'm my true/real self though? Being a needy nice guy feels like my true self because those needs feel real.

[zazen]

Everything that exists is true because it exists. Right now the way you are is the way you are, is truth. I guess when we are told to be ourself it means to be our best selves, we all have the potential to be more.  To ACTualise we must ACT. You have POTENTial in you which is potent but only when it is realised. Right now it just a seed, action is the water and nourishment that will sprout that seed. 

 

Being needy and nice is your true self now, but it is not all you could be. Love yourself as you are now, but also love what you could be. Self accept, then self improve.  We all have needs, but to be needy doesn't help us meet those needs, life is counter-intuitive. A needy person wants 100% of his needs met by others, a healthier person who still has needs but isn't needy, has met at least some portion of those needs himself (say 50%) through his own actions and life, and so when you meet people they don't feel the burden of having to fulfil you, most people are also struggling to fulfil themselves. Meet your own needs first and make yourself feel good through exercise, meditation, good diet and sleep, have passions and hobbies you enjoy, watch comedy and laugh, read good books and write. Get into nature. Then from a strong position its possible to love people and women, and not just the idea of them. 

 

 

Edited October 28, 2021 by zazen

[Javfly33]

11 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Yeah, yeah. It won't be funny if you get a sexual assault charge or some of other bs like that.

Hurt people hurt people. Until you solve your root issues you are a walking liability

+1. I don't say it for the OP because I don't know him so I can't judge by his posts (I also haven't read this post completely). But I fall / have fallen into similar "issues" and I particularly have one "bad record" (which fortunately didn't end up in legal charges or problems) with a girl some years ago that it might have ended very, very, very bad (for both parts). Fortunately I had a lot of luck, and fortunately in this years I´ve woken up to the fact it's me (my mind) so I can't anymore be much bitter or judge anybody. 

But it was not like that in the past. And woah, I really dodge a bullet there. 

But anyways is that pain and fucked up situations that also wake you up. So I guess everybody has to pass through it. (Just don't kill yourself or kill somebody in the process Lol)

[StarStruck]

There is something I wanted to ask about the date:

She brought the topic up about fuckboys and I didn't know what to say. 

She said she hated fuckboys and I just went silent because if I told her no I'm not a fuckboy I would fall into the category of cuck and if I say yes I'm a fuckboy she would he turned off. 

It was a lose lose situation. How would you guys have done?

[HypnoticMagician]

She is inferior so long as you learn notice this. No matter how symmetric her face is, she lacks the brain needed to take the leadership so there is no problem with taking the leadership you deserve more.

[mandyjw]

12 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

There is something I wanted to ask about the date:

She brought the topic up about fuckboys and I didn't know what to say. 

She said she hated fuckboys and I just went silent because if I told her no I'm not a fuckboy I would fall into the category of cuck and if I say yes I'm a fuckboy she would he turned off. 

It was a lose lose situation. How would you guys have done?

Stick and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me. Unless I believe them or resist them that is. If someone uses shitty vocabulary to help uphold some shitty belief, I can get pulled in and feel shitty or I can remember that I am always undefined. 

Hard choice there. 

[StarStruck]

14 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

Stick and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me. Unless I believe them or resist them that is. If someone uses shitty vocabulary to help uphold some shitty belief, I can get pulled in and feel shitty or I can remember that I am always undefined. 

Hard choice there. 

I don't get how that is related to her shit test. That is now how I'm passing her shit test. 

[mandyjw]

1 minute ago, StarStruck said:

I don't get how that is related to her shit test. That is now how I'm passing her shit test. 

SHIT TEST. Again. 

Dude. Yer totally lost in language. 

[StarStruck]

13 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

SHIT TEST. Again. 

Dude. Yer totally lost in language. 

I want to get my dick wet. If I'm not practical it is not going to happen. Try being a man for a day. No offense.

[mandyjw]

@StarStruck My name is pronounced A man duh. No shit. But language isn't quite the experience is it? 

[Gesundheit2]

2 hours ago, StarStruck said:

There is something I wanted to ask about the date:

She brought the topic up about fuckboys and I didn't know what to say. 

She said she hated fuckboys and I just went silent because if I told her no I'm not a fuckboy I would fall into the category of cuck and if I say yes I'm a fuckboy she would he turned off. 

It was a lose lose situation. How would you guys have done?

I would tell her that it's a very amusing thing to me; that people are different, and that understanding differences and exploring various perspectives are my biggest passions in life (play the emotional passionate purpose-driven guy card + subtle wordplay i.e. I want to explore her). Then I would possibly recite an example or two of girls I know who said otherwise (play the pre-selected guy card + trigger her jealousy + challenge her + show her I have an independent opinion and am independent of her opinion).

But of course, it's easy for me to think these stuff right now. I rarely say the right things on the fly, but I'm getting better.

Edited October 29, 2021 by Gesundheit2

[mandyjw]

@StarStruck I don't know if this is helpful or not, but the idea of beauty really isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's an illusion. 

Just about every girl who is "beautiful" is very aware that this is reality. She can go from looking like absolute shit to completely out of your league in an hours time. That's why when you are too starstruck by beauty, we don't want to be the one waking up next to you in the morning. We know it's not real. You think it's real, and we don't want to be the one who disappoints you.