How to feel equal or higher value than beautiful girls

[mandyjw]

@Gesundheit2 You couldn't have saved it. You are not a manipulator.

[Nahm]

41 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

So I should be content with what happened? I'm content with the fact that I got a chance/date with her. I can't be content with her blocking me and treating me like trash after I paid everything for her and I was a real gentlemen. If I played my cards right I would have a smile on my face right now. How can I be content with that?

That is the thought(s) to the contrary.

1 hour ago, Nahm said:

(We’re all equal. That’s already felt (contentment). Also, thoughts to the contrary are felt too and hard to miss (emotions below contentment). 

Which emotion are you experiencing? 

 

[Jacob Morres]

6 hours ago, StarStruck said:

I'm a natural empath so I really care what others think and feel. I just don't want to be treated as dirt by these girls.

i know how you feel. the way i interpret this right now is that if a girl is disrespectful she is helping weed herself out. a criteria for me is integrity. idont know if this is the best way, but right now i have a certain vibe that i want the girl to also embody 

Edited October 26, 2021 by Jacob Morres

[StarStruck]

55 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

@Gesundheit2 You couldn't have saved it. You are not a manipulator.

Pickup is all about manipulation. Being human is all about manipulation. Have you ever done pickup?

[Nahm]

9 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

Being human is all about manipulation

No offense I hope but, not very attracting there. When I imagine one of my kids sharing that perspective it kinda breaks my heart. Then to imagine all the justifications & rationalizations and mental gymnastics required to uphold such a view… ??? But then I imagine my daughter being with a real man, by which I mean one who understands the emotions, and therefore is not manipulative, I feel great again. ? Please tell me it makes sense to you that people are manipulative to feel better. 

[StarStruck]

25 minutes ago, Nahm said:

No offense I hope but, not very attracting there. When I imagine one of my kids sharing that perspective it kinda breaks my heart. Then to imagine all the justifications & rationalizations and mental gymnastics required to uphold such a view… ??? But then I imagine my daughter being with a real man, by which I mean one who understands the emotions, and therefore is not manipulative, I feel great again. ? Please tell me it makes sense to you that people are manipulative to feel better. 

For me manipulation doesn't have a bad connotation. When I drove home I manipulated my car to drive me home. Now I'm manipulating my phone to write a msg to you. And you are trying to manipulate me in the same manner. That is what we do. Manipulate. 

And other guys manipulated the polish girl and slept with her. And I failed to do that. 

Edited October 26, 2021 by StarStruck

[mandyjw]

35 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

Pickup is all about manipulation. Being human is all about manipulation. Have you ever done pickup?

I approached two guys I really, really liked and had known for a long time. I told one I cared and asked if he did. He rejected me in style. Told the other I loved him. That one I'm still with 16 years later. Vulnerability and honestly putting on the table how you feel and what you want, yes. Manipulative, no.

[Gesundheit2]

@StarStruck People who have it easy tend to underestimate the difficulties the ones who have it hard experience. They just don't understand and can't relate.

Manipulation is king. Even here, you were being manipulated out of manipulation.

You know what to do, bro. Develop your mindset and upgrade to abundance. Women lust after a man who has an attitude of proactive capability: "Whatever the task, I am up to it, because I am the man for it."

[StarStruck]

2 hours ago, Gesundheit2 said:

@StarStruck People who have it easy tend to underestimate the difficulties the ones who have it hard experience. They just don't understand and can't relate.

Manipulation is king. Even here, you were being manipulated out of manipulation.

You know what to do, bro. Develop your mindset and upgrade to abundance. Women lust after a man who has an attitude of proactive capability: "Whatever the task, I am up to it, because I am the man for it."

I have abundance right now. I already have a date with another girl but that doesn't change the hurt. That Polish girl literally took my heart and stamped on it. And I don't blame her. I was kind of in my head, too logical, and insecurities at the end of the date took me over. 

There is a part of me that doesn't want to date anymore. Dating feels like slamming my foot with a hammer. I can just see how I fuck up things and I can't help it. 

 

[Leo Gura]

@StarStruck How about you just stop making such a fucking drama out of approaching girls?

Just approach and stop caring so much about outcome. Enjoy the process and stop complaining about every thing. Not every girl you interact with is supposed to sleep with you. Less complaining more approaching.

[StarStruck]

10 hours ago, mandyjw said:

I approached two guys I really, really liked and had known for a long time. I told one I cared and asked if he did. He rejected me in style. Told the other I loved him. That one I'm still with 16 years later. Vulnerability and honestly putting on the table how you feel and what you want, yes. Manipulative, no.

You are a woman though so you have it easier. I'm weird and in my head. Today my gym mate told me I was not sharp and easily distracted. He probably doesn't want to train with my anymore.  Until I solved this I'm not going to date.  It is self chastity. 

[StarStruck]

Just now, Leo Gura said:

@StarStruck How about you just stop making such a fucking drama out of approaching girls?

Just approach and stop caring so much about outcome. Enjoy the process and stop complaining about every thing.

I have huge personality flaws. Acting like those doesn't exist doesn't help me. I have tried that. 

[Leo Gura]

@StarStruck Just keep quiet and do the practices. You don't need to whine about it constantly. You are creating this extra layer of suffering.

This journey is not about getting any specific girl. It is about growing yourself as a man. Therefore it doesn't matter if you lose any particular girl. Keep your eye on the big picture, not one girl or one date.

Notice that every time you go out and talk to girls you improve a little. Focus on the positive. Focus on what is working.

[Raptorsin7]

24 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

I have huge personality flaws. Acting like those doesn't exist doesn't help me. I have tried that. 

Do you have a meditation practice? If so, what kind of practice are you doing and what is your perspective on how the practices are unfolding?

You can literally transform your personality in an instance if you can get in touch with deep repressed emotions and sensations

[Gesundheit2]

1 hour ago, StarStruck said:

I have abundance right now. I already have a date with another girl but that doesn't change the hurt.

Abundance mindset is not the same as having a replacement. A mindset is something you develop through introspection, regardless of what's actually going on. In fact, it could be opposite to what's going on, and that's the power of it. For example, a billionaire could be stuck in a scarcity mindset, and a regular dude could have an abundance mindset. Mind over matter, bro.

Quote

That Polish girl literally took my heart and stamped on it.

Forget about that bitch. She's not worth your mental focus.

And don't take it personally, the blocking feature is abused a lot by girls. I am already blocked by countless chicks, some of them without me even talking to them, just by interacting with their friends or family.

Edited October 27, 2021 by Gesundheit2

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Gesundheit2 said:

Forget about that bitch.

Do not bring this toxic attitude here.

[StarStruck]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@StarStruck Just keep quiet and do the practices. You don't need to whine about it constantly. You are creating this extra layer of suffering.

This journey is not about getting any specific girl. It is about growing yourself as a man. Therefore it doesn't matter if you lose any particular girl. Keep your eye on the big picture, not one girl or one date.

Notice that every time you go out and talk to girls you improve a little. Focus on the positive. Focus on what is working.

Fair enough.

1 hour ago, Gesundheit2 said:

Abundance mindset is not the same as having a replacement. A mindset is something you develop through introspection, regardless of what's actually going on. In fact, it could be opposite to what's going on, and that's the power of it. For example, a billionaire could be stuck in a scarcity mindset, and a regular dude could have an abundance mindset. Mind over matter, bro.

It is hard to grasp when I'm in the middle of this shit show but I understand it now. That rung a bell.

Quote

Forget about that bitch. She's not worth your mental focus.

And don't take it personally, the blocking feature is abused a lot by girls. I am already blocked by countless chicks, some of them without me even talking to them, just by interacting with their friends or family.

I try my best to look from a third person perspective to my feelings right now but it only works partly. I just want to punch somebody or something. I'm trying to channel that anger towards self-improvement and self-acceptance.

2 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Do you have a meditation practice? If so, what kind of practice are you doing and what is your perspective on how the practices are unfolding?

You can literally transform your personality in an instance if you can get in touch with deep repressed emotions and sensations

I'm doing Joe Dispenza's meditations: mainly doing release work from root chakra towards crown chakra, and a second meditation that focuses on the heart chakra

[zazen]

When interacting with women its best to be in the moment as its more a emotional / energetic affair and to not be trapped up in the head. Analyse after the interactions. As your logical you may want to understand human nature which will help dispel any grandiosity women may have and therefore help you to be more relaxed around them. Use your own proclivity of being logical, to study nature, accept it, and act accordingly to it. The following may help de-pedestalise women for you. Not to put down women, but just to see them for what they are, not below or above men. If you view them as above you, you won't attain them because they aren't attracted to weakness, but if you view them as below you, how can you healthily love that which you look down on or detest. 

 

''A subset of high value men who don’t commit beyond sex, have a very rosy-perception of women because they’ve got their game down enough not to face too much difficulty getting laid. These men enjoy the best of what women have to offer without being subject to any of the bullshit attached to it; this gives them a positively skewed bias.  Perhaps some men are bitter, but bitter rarely means wrong, if anything, bitterness is the unwelcome by-product of a hard learned lesson, it is neither unwarranted nor devoid of wisdom. This is not to encourage bitterness, but rather to give credit where credit is due.

Instinct obscures truth when it comes to the study of women, men are overridden by idealism, lust and paternalism and feel if they accept the darker nature of women then they have to hate women and won’t be able to enjoy them. Therefore a man is prone to retain the myth of the idealised women rather than accept nature, because he wrongly believes acceptance of nature is tantamount to an inability to enjoy women.

This is not true at all, sometimes one has to accept reality is not what they want it to be, that women are not angelic as so many men were wrongly taught, but that in fact women are flawed just as men. It’s about a recalibration of expectations to complement reality, rather than continuing to worship the unicorn myth that society has so deeply ingrained. In spite of this realisation, you have to make a commitment to your happiness and make the best out of the flawed nature of human kind. If you can’t or won’t do that, you’re going to go your own way and prove nature right: you need illusions to see women as worthwhile. 

The inability to grasp and accept nature, instead choosing to reject nature, indicates the person in question has to deceive themselves about the nature of women in order to be capable of enjoying them. Such a person is not at the stage where they can enjoy women, whilst accepting how flawed nature can be, or their idealism of it. Salvation lies in accepting and working in accordance with nature, rather than in denying it. 

 

Where woman idealism may stem from

Nature plays a cruel trick on the psychology of man. It gives him a very pure, high quality love in his childhood. It gives him a template for woman’s love that he comes to expect as standard of all women. He is taught by his mother’s love that unconditional loyalty, noble character, gentleness, sacrifice and trust are intrinsic of the feminine essence. And so as he grows from a boy into a man he comes to the rather logical conclusion that if he is “a good man,” he can expect to be loved by his lover in much the same way. His mother, well-meant but quite incorrectly likewise affirms this notion to him. This is a wicked lie, but a man whose heart is yet to be broken does not realise this. He thinks woman’s love is immutable. He knows not that her love for child is different from that of her love for him.

Women are incapable of reciprocating man’s love. They love differently. There is a hierarchy of love that trickles down. Man sacrifices for woman, and woman, for child. Rarely does the river flow upward. As such, if man is to believe that women can love to the same extent as he, then he is doomed to disappointment and misery when she invariably acts within accordance of her nature rather than his idealisation. Men who had mothers that never endowed them with the maternal bond find it easier to swallow the truth and understand female behaviour as adults. It is a recurring observation of mine that men deprived of maternal love are better adapted for dealing with women as mates in adulthood. The man who grew up as a neglected boy never foolishly believed that a girlfriend would love him as his mother would, he believed she would love him exactly as his mother did; with extreme conditionality.

 

Essentially man has to be stronger, for it is security she lacks being the more vulnerable sex, and seeks this in man. Children rely on women, women on man, man on himself and his strengths. If I could pin point / generalise the nature of women and men it would be this: women seek to secure strength, men seek to express strength. A lot of male/female behaviour can be explained with these two principles.

Love women for what they are, not what you idealise them to be. ''

Edited October 27, 2021 by zazen

[mandyjw]

 

4 hours ago, StarStruck said:

You are a woman though so you have it easier. I'm weird and in my head. Today my gym mate told me I was not sharp and easily distracted. He probably doesn't want to train with my anymore.  Until I solved this I'm not going to date.  It is self chastity. 

This is all just circular thinking. It's like you get stuck on the inside lane of a rotary and can't find space to change lanes or exit. The important thing is to not believe the content of the thoughts, just notice, "thought". It's like getting mad at the people in the cars, instead of looking for a gap between them so you can exit the rotary. 

Did you tell your gym mate you're distracted and going through something? 

Edited October 27, 2021 by mandyjw

[mandyjw]

 

6 hours ago, Gesundheit2 said:

Manipulation is king. Even here, you were being manipulated out of manipulation.

manipulate (v.)

1827, "to handle skillfully by hand," a back-formation from manipulation. As "to manage by mental influence," especially for one's own purposes, is by 1864. Financial sense is from 1870. By 1949 it served as a euphemism for "masturbate."  https://www.etymonline.com/search?q=manipulate

You only manipulate yourself. Seems the opposite of what's wanted here.