How to feel equal or higher value than beautiful girls

[StarStruck]

So I went on this date with this amazing Polish girl. A real blue haired brunette lolita. I approached this girl and it was a walk in the park to seduce her. Next day we went on a date.

Everything was fine. We eat some pizza and went for a walk (and smoked sisha later on) In the park we were looking at some cows and I delicately grapped her from the back and I asked if I could kiss her (the first mistake) I shouldn't have asked but should have used body language and my hands to direct the kiss but she decline because she doesn't do that on the first date.

Later on she said fuck boys would do that to her (kiss her and probably get more), but she didn't want to kiss me because I wasn't? That was my conclusion. But all in all I failed to establish the fuckboy frame and I was obviously disappointed. She held my hands and it felt good but I felt like a cuck. It took me two minutes or something to let it go and become not butt hurt about it.

I'm glad I tried it but I don't know. I'm already doing pickup for months right now and I still can't establish the fuckboy frame. It is basically that I'm feeling inferior to her? This video explains my point very well but how to materialize it and own it? I watched this video before the date and I clearly failed.

I'm very negative about my date today and I'm trying to see the glass half full. Last year I could only dream to go on a date with such a girl so I'm making progress but these kind of setbacks put me out of my equilibrium. I really  had to create this thread because I feel like a little puppy and I know it shouldn't have influenced me this much.

So what I'm really asking is how I can be myself without being so needy. There were some comments from her to me that really made me doubt myself. For example I told her I don't do cannabis because it makes me quite and she told me that I was already quite as I'm. That is true and that is why it hurt me. I know I should just own that quality but my inclination is just to modify myself to be like a fuckboy? I'm not happy about how girls treat me like dirt and award the fuckboys. This girl literally told me - indirectly - she does reward fuckboys and it just pains my heart that girls reward such guys and punish (nice) guys like me and I don't know how to deal with it!

To be honest I don't want to become a fuckboy. I just want to be myself, without being boring and too silent in her presence. I also made some stupid comments like telling her that nicotine is poison! We were smoking sisha and she just stopped smoking it and it kind of killed the mood. I really need to step out of this logical/intellectual mode and I can be that for some while but eventually I turn to my real self where I'm boring and very quite.

Edited October 25, 2021 by StarStruck

[Harlen Kelly]

@StarStruck By having sex with many beautiful women. It will become normalized in your mind and you will naturally behave authentically around them. 

If you still cannot reliably have sex with beautiful women, you can do visualizations, affirmations, etc. But to actually and subconsciously feel like you deserve beautiful women, you will have to sleep with many of them. There is no way around this. 

[Federico del pueblo]

This is a long term process. You simply need a lot more experience.

You feel like she is above you because this is what you've been brainwashed to believe, i.e. that attractive girls are amazing and have such high standards and all of this.

This makes you feel insecure and puts you in your head.

Do you even know your own value? Like, what is it that a girl can experience with you that is of value (at least potentially)? Try to find as many things as possible and become more aware of them, brainwash yourself with it.

Also become more aware of the things you think you are lacking, even if that might sound counterintuitive. You must be able to see when your limiting stories kick in, so you have a chance to disrupt them. Then, when you are at home, you must challenge these limiting beliefs. Sure, you probably have some shortcomings, like most other guys do too, but it's about how much these shortcomings are fucking with your mind, that makes a difference. If actually do have some complete deal-breaker kind of shortcomings then of course sort them out, but more often than not we just make too big of a deal out of the things we are lacking.

The "fuckboys" are not even nearly perfect, but they just don't give a fuck, which is why they get a lot of fucks.

"Not giving a fuck" means, that you don't care about your own shortcomings, about her little tests, about her supposed high standards, her opinion of you and so on. They just don't take the girls so seriously.

Girls care about guys who don't care (in a sense, this is not all of reality, just a small aspect of it).

You probably still put attractive girls on a pedestal. But you cannot very easily "unthink" that pedestal you've put hot girls on. It requires a lot of desensitization which can only be attained by making more experiences with these girls.

Then you "simply" need to internalize all of these skill sets very much, until game is basically second nature. This is value in and of itself, because women respond well to a good lead, good flirtation and so on.

Make experiences, learn from your mistakes, be proud of yourself for taking action (instead of beating yourself up for your mistakes), and just keep going.

[StarStruck]

11 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

@StarStruck By having sex with many beautiful women. It will become normalized in your mind and you will naturally behave authentically around them. 

If you still cannot reliably have sex with beautiful women, you can do visualizations, affirmations, etc. But to actually and subconsciously feel like you deserve beautiful women, you will have to sleep with many of them. There is no way around this. 

At the end, she looked kind of bored and the vibe was off. I have no clue how to fix this or what I'm doing wrong. A lot of girls tell me directly or indirectly (or not at all) that the vibe is off. I know I have problems with my vibe, but I don't know how to fix it.

It is likely she would go on another date with me but I was kind of sad that the last part of the date was boring. She was bored. I was bored.

Edited October 25, 2021 by StarStruck

[StarStruck]

And another thing, I told her "I'm sorry" like 3 times. I never said I'm sorry to a person this many times and I couldn't stop myself saying sorry. Like I told her there were dears and there weren't any dears in the park and I said sorry. I could see on her face that it was kind of cringe.

[Applegarden8]

I don't know exactly, but I guess it also stems from being really grounded and honest (to yourself) about your life, direction, values. I am always afraid of one thought that is reoccurring - how could it be that my artwork for example or greater purpose is just another attraction/dating strategy? I am not happy with this idea so I try to constantly renounce and relax from that sexual tension, seeking validation, dependency or feeling lonely. That doesn't completely solve the active interaction with somebody whom you consider "higher", but I anyway aim to establish deep attraction, rather than go and have the best sex possible so to say with some quantity of that kind of women. I don't really have experience with women in that regard, but then, I don't think I care currently, and hopefully ever.

[StarStruck]

10 minutes ago, Federico del pueblo said:

Do you even know your own value? Like, what is it that a girl can experience with you that is of value (at least potentially)? Try to find as many things as possible and become more aware of them, brainwash yourself with it.

That is a long process indeed. What makes me really attack myself is my boringness, my silent/quite attitude, and introvertness. I mean I'm ok with these qualities. Girls are not ok with these qualities. They want a guy with a good vibe. What I know is this: I have to enjoy my own vibe before she can join my party and enjoy it too. My vibe is good for first 2 hours of the date. After that I can really boring!

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Also become more aware of the things you think you are lacking, even if that might sound counterintuitive. You must be able to see when your limiting stories kick in, so you have a chance to disrupt them. Then, when you are at home, you must challenge these limiting beliefs. Sure, you probably have some shortcomings, like most other guys do too, but it's about how much these shortcomings are fucking with your mind, that makes a difference. If actually do have some complete deal-breaker kind of shortcomings then of course sort them out, but more often than not we just make too big of a deal out of the things we are lacking.

Thanks but it wasn't a story, the last hour she was really bored. I could see it on her face. First couple of hours were great though.

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The "fuckboys" are not even nearly perfect, but they just don't give a fuck, which is why they get a lot of fucks.

"Not giving a fuck" means, that you don't care about your own shortcomings, about her little tests, about her supposed high standards, her opinion of you and so on. They just don't take the girls so seriously.

Girls care about guys who don't care (in a sense, this is not all of reality, just a small aspect of it).

You probably still put attractive girls on a pedestal. But you cannot very easily "unthink" that pedestal you've put hot girls on. It requires a lot of desensitization which can only be attained by making more experiences with these girls.

Then you "simply" need to internalize all of these skill sets very much, until game is basically second nature. This is value in and of itself, because women respond well to a good lead, good flirtation and so on.

Make experiences, learn from your mistakes, be proud of yourself for taking action (instead of beating yourself up for your mistakes), and just keep going.

Those are good points. Thank you.

[Harlen Kelly]

1 hour ago, StarStruck said:

This girl literally told me - indirectly - she does reward fuckboys and it just pains my heart that girls reward such guys and punish (nice) guys like me and I don't know how to deal with it!

The best guys I have personally gamed with who get laid the most are total scumbags, and I mean total scumbags. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to be a scumbag to get consistent and reliable results, mind you. 

28 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

It is likely she would go on another date with me but I was kind of sad that the last part of the date was boring. She was bored. I was bored.

Just make sure you escalate physically and go in for the kiss, if she rejects the kiss laugh if off and try again later, if it goes well and she is reciprocating your advances, pull her to your apartment. 

One way to not get too attached and invested is by perceiving this as nothing more than practice. If it works, great, if it doesn't, you learn from it.

Edited October 25, 2021 by Harlen Kelly

[StarStruck]

15 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

The best guys I have personally gamed with who get laid the most are total scumbags, and I mean total scumbags. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to be a scumbag to get consistent and reliable results, mind you. 

Just make sure you escalate physically and go in for the kiss, if she rejects the kiss laugh if off and try again later, if it goes well and she is reciprocating your advances, pull her to your apartment. 

One way to not get too attached and invested is by perceiving this as nothing more than practice. If it works, great, if it doesn't, you learn from it.

So how not to be boring though? (I'm not asking you specifically perhaps other people have some pointers on this too).. I know it is ok to be introvert but I'm just boring. Couple of girls told me my vibe is off.

[Javfly33]

Jesus christ bro you have to once and for fucking all bite the "bitter" bullet that women are not angels or superior beings and they are just survival animals like us (men).

Actually inspect why you feel is "bad" that "women reward fuckbois". Look, Sex is fucking low conscious as is eating, or taking a shit. It's selfish. It's not moral, it's not non-duality, it's A GAME. And it's a selfish game. 

Play it, or not. But stop bitching. (I say this with all my heart, since I lately see you are doing a lot of work on this would you don't still let go of your ego and the beliefs of how the game "should be" ).

[hoodrow trillson]

Just a pro-tip for OP:  "Fuck boys" coming from a woman's mouth, means assertive hot guys who obviously get pussy in their eyes.  Fuck boy is not a diss, it's a backhanded compliment.

Take this how you will but she made the distinction between a hot guy and you--a non-hot guy.  It's up to you to figure out what that means.

 

[Leo Gura]

You are being way too logical with these girls. You have to stop taking the things they say seriously and just be very playful and emotional and sexual with them.

And def stop listening when they tell you they want a nice guy or whatever.

It takes a few years and lots of practice to develop a sense of humor. It's worth the effort.

[Karmadhi]

Something which helped me to improve my sense of humour on top of the "looking for the funny" tip which leo mentions (amaizing tip btw), is to watch a lot of comedy stuff. Idk why but it really improves your humour, especially the clever one. Just watch quality content and you will subconsciously develop that part of your brain which is responsible for such stuff.

[StarStruck]

59 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

You are being way too logical with these girls. You have to stop taking the things they say seriously and just be very playful and emotional and sexual with them.

And def stop listening when they tell you they want a nice guy or whatever.

It takes a few years and lots of practice to develop a sense of humor. It's worth the effort.

I'm doing your humor exercises every week and I made a lot of progress but these dates last 4 hours. 

I can be very entertaining/playful and emotional for the first 3 hours but after a while I just got exhausted (introverts do) and I become massively boring.

My last date: I was silly a good portion of the time but in the last hour in the sisha lounge I got boring. I feel like there is something wrong with me.

This happened like 3 times in a row with other girls. 1 girl literally said to me I was boring while the other ones were polite about it. 

I did RSD at home and those guys say just be yourself. I can be funny for a while but eventually the girl will see that I'm a boring (or at least a silent/quite) man. 

[StarStruck]

3 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

Jesus christ bro you have to once and for fucking all bite the "bitter" bullet that women are not angels or superior beings and they are just survival animals like us (men).

Actually inspect why you feel is "bad" that "women reward fuckbois". Look, Sex is fucking low conscious as is eating, or taking a shit. It's selfish. It's not moral, it's not non-duality, it's A GAME. And it's a selfish game. 

Play it, or not. But stop bitching. (I say this with all my heart, since I lately see you are doing a lot of work on this would you don't still let go of your ego and the beliefs of how the game "should be" ).

I know you are right but it is hard to accept. 

I have a low anima animus integration. There are like 5 levels of integration. I'm on level 1/2 so I'm very depended, submissive. I can't help myself. 

For me dating is not a game. For me dating is getting something I don't have in my life which is love. I know other people see dating as a game. I see dating as life and death like getting a necessity; yes, that is thirsty but it is hard not to be thirsty if you are. 

Edited October 25, 2021 by StarStruck

[Leo Gura]

41 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

I'm doing your humor exercises every week and I made a lot of progress but these dates last 4 hours. 

I can be very entertaining/playful and emotional for the first 3 hours but after a while I just got exhausted (introverts do) and I become massively boring.

Dude, then your problem isn't lack of humor. You don't need to run a comedy routine for a girl for 4 hours to get her to sleep with you.

Humor is mostly necessary only in the beginning. Once she is attracted, you then need to shift in to building deep intimacy, connection, and comfort. This is what the majority of your date should be about. You do this not through humor but by sharing stories from your life, your values, your dreams, your passions, and asking about hers. Little humor is necessary here. And then while you're doing that you must also ramp up the physical escalation. Once you're 2hrs+ into a date most of the work should be done via just silence and physical escalation. Your hands should be all over her body by that point, you should be leading her around, kissing her, making out, heavy sexual eye contact, and getting her horny.

You don't need to be a dancing monkey. And you don't need a bunch of vapid small talk. Get to the business of turning her body on. You're here to fuck her, not to play talk show host.

You need to learn the power of silence and simply eye contact. Talk way slower.

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My last date: I was silly a good portion of the time but in the last hour in the sisha lounge I got boring. I feel like there is something wrong with me.

This happened like 3 times in a row with other girls. 1 girl literally said to me I was boring while the other ones were polite about it.

It's not gonna be boring if your properly physically escalate and are making her horny.

[PepperBlossoms]

@StarStruck You don't need to be a fuck boy.  Do you want a fuck girl?  Fuck boys get fuck girls and that is all there is - its very superficial, its all about the sex and the looks, and then it fades, both parties get bored/mad at each other, there isn't enough connection to do anything, the conversation goes no where, and each person goes on and moves to someone else - - the relationship goes no where.  Fuck boys and fuck girls cannot be trusted either as one will assume that they could be going for quantity and hence there is no confidence in it being monogamous.  If the main reason for the relationship is the sex, it may not last.

You don't have to talk the whole time- you can just like meet to watch a movie.

Go for a girl that is of the same beauty level as you - if she is too high, you may feel unworthy. 

Do what you want to do that is fun.  Don't make the topics superficial - superficial topics are boring.  Go for what you are interested in.  

Find someone that you can be around where you don't have to be on drugs to hang out with as that is not sustainable.

Whatever works for you - everyone is different.

It is about how see feels but also how you feel.  Do you like being with her?  Does she like being with you?

Relationships can be stable for some people and they can be rollercoasters for others.  

Edited October 26, 2021 by PepperBlossoms

[museumoftrees]

Girls saying they don't have sex or kiss on first dates is their subconscious strategy for filtering out beta males

[StarStruck]

10 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Dude, then your problem isn't lack of humor. You don't need to run a comedy routine for a girl for 4 hours to get her to sleep with you.

Humor is mostly necessary only in the beginning. Once she is attracted, you then need to shift in to building deep intimacy, connection, and comfort. This is what the majority of your date should be about. You do this not through humor but by sharing stories from your life, your values, your dreams, your passions, and asking about hers. Little humor is necessary here. And then while you're doing that you must also ramp up the physical escalation. Once you're 2hrs+ into a date most of the work should be done via just silence and physical escalation. Your hands should be all over her body by that point, you should be leading her around, kissing her, making out, heavy sexual eye contact, and getting her horny.

You don't need to be a dancing monkey. And you don't need a bunch of vapid small talk. Get to the business of turning her body on. You're here to fuck her, not to play talk show host.

You need to learn the power of silence and simply eye contact. Talk way slower.

It's not gonna be boring if your properly physically escalate and are making her horny.

I failed at that so hard in the last hour.  I just ran out of stories and then I got afraid to come across boring and that is exactly what happened. Law of state transference is so important.

Actually I did try to kiss her two times, once in the park and second time in the lounge, but she rejected me. But we did hold hands when walking (her initiative), put my arm around her, touched her hair and face.

How would you have dealt with that situation? You are 3 hours in the date (and the vibe was good although she rejected my kiss two times) and the last hour is getting boring.

Edited October 26, 2021 by StarStruck

[StarStruck]

10 hours ago, museumoftrees said:

Girls saying they don't have sex or kiss on first dates is their subconscious strategy for filtering out beta males

That is painful but true. I'm getting angry but I shouldn't. That is just the game.

10 hours ago, PepperBlossoms said:

@StarStruck You don't need to be a fuck boy.  Do you want a fuck girl?  Fuck boys get fuck girls and that is all there is - its very superficial, its all about the sex and the looks, and then it fades, both parties get bored/mad at each other, there isn't enough connection to do anything, the conversation goes no where, and each person goes on and moves to someone else - - the relationship goes no where.  Fuck boys and fuck girls cannot be trusted either as one will assume that they could be going for quantity and hence there is no confidence in it being monogamous.  If the main reason for the relationship is the sex, it may not last.

You don't have to talk the whole time- you can just like meet to watch a movie.

Go for a girl that is of the same beauty level as you - if she is too high, you may feel unworthy. 

  

Find someone that you can be around where you don't have to be on drugs to hang out with as that is not sustainable.

Whatever works for you - everyone is different.

 

Relationships can be stable for some people and they can be rollercoasters for others.  

I want to be a fuckboy for the lessons and experience, so that I can integrate my inner fuckboy and be a wholesome person in my dating life.

Comparing to half year ago I made astronomical progress. I couldn't even dream up such a beautiful girl half year ago and now I get dates with them, so I'm happy with my progress but I'm also getting frustrated.

I'm in my 32 and I don't have the luxury of stretching out my learning curve for 10 years since I'm already 10 years too late in the game. This ego baggage is counter productive and I'm letting it go but there is also reality which is my age. Like I can get 20 year old girls now, when I'm a little bit older it will get well awkward to hit on beautiful 20 year old girls.

My plan is to date 2-3 to catch up with casual dating and then slowly find a long term partner.

 

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Do what you want to do that is fun.  Don't make the topics superficial - superficial topics are boring.  Go for what you are interested in.

I'm ok with the way I'm. I'm a quite and reserved type. The problem is that girls don't like to fuck with such guys. I do have a wild side but it is like 30% wild, 70% reserved. The night was 30% wild and fun and, 70% I was just reserved.

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It is about how see feels but also how you feel.  Do you like being with her?  Does she like being with you?

Everything was fine until the last hour of the date where we both got bored in the sisha lounge.