Dating preferences among men and women

[Tyler Durden]

Social, cultural and biological reasons can be used to explain certain male and female dating behaviour. But if we look at things from non-dual perspective, it makes less sense.

Why do most men prefer younger and prettier women over older and uglier? Why do most women prefer taller and richer men over shorter and poorer?

Those are all false dualities, there is actually no difference in having preference whatsoever. And yet we are attracted to certain types of women/men.

Why is that the case?

Edited October 25, 2021 by Tyler Durden

[Brittany]

From a non-dualistic perspective, relationships don't exist.

Relationships are an attempt to unite people that are separated.

But from the non-dualistic perspective, there is no separation. There is nothing that is separate that needs to be united.

You cannot join what is not divided.

You cannot connect what has never been broken.

So it makes no sense talking about this from a non-duality perspective, in my opinion.

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But from the lens of Duality and the dream world, questions like "Why do most men prefer younger and prettier women over older and uglier? Why do most women prefer taller and richer men over shorter and poorer?" is about human pride.

Some people see young, pretty, and rich people as Pride opportunities.  For example, "She is young and pretty so I will gain X,Y and Z from her". or "He is rich so I will gain X, Y and Z from him".

But..........haha some people even see "ugly" and poor people as a Pride opportunities. For example, "Maybe she/he won't cheat on me because they are so ugly". or "Maybe they won't leave me because they are poor and dependent on me". 

My definition of Pride = What the ego gains from objects, experiences, thoughts/emotions and people. Also, pride can show up as anything you think is greater than anything else. X is better than Y.

You can have pride for yourself. But you can also have pride for other people and you can even have pride for inanimate objects.

When you fall in love with a man/woman, you actually have pride FOR them. It's a trippy concept. haha 

For example, when you are jealous of someone, you have pride FOR them. You think they have MORE of something than you.

Or for example, when you think Hawaii is better than Chicago, then you have pride FOR Hawaii.  You think Hawaii has something of MORE value than Chicago.

An easy formula for pride is:

Anything that comes after I AM ____________ and I HAVE/know/experienced ___________and I WILL HAVE __________  (even negative things) is pride. 

Also, anything that comes after THEY are ________________, They HAVE/know/experienced _____________or They WILL HAVE _____________ are forms of pride that you place upon other people.

The mind tries to claim that it has become or it owns something. But from a non-dualistic perspective, the separate self becoming or having something other than Consciousness is impossible. Consciousness does not become or have anything other than itself. Consciousness also doesn't experience anything other than itself. 

So if the mind thinks another person HAS something valuable that can greatly benefit you and your survival, then you will be attracted to that person. And you will want to add what they HAVE.... into the collection of things that you HAVE.

Sometimes this collection of things includes ideas, thoughts, and emotions.

Even a person who considers themselves a minimalist of material objects... might want to HAVE a lot of positive emotions and thoughts.

For example, I AM a great husband/wife. I AM kind. I AM loyal. I AM compassionate. I AM grateful. I AM loved. are all forms of pride/ego. 

Even I AM nothing or I AM consciousness or I AM God are Pride for the ego to chew on. These are some of trickiest ways pride manifest. Pride can even be I AM a piece of crap. Or I AM worthless.

Pride is not bad. It's the electricity of the world of duality. Duality is fueled by pride.  

When you understand pride, you understand 50% of the game that the mind plays.

All human relationships are a pride game.

Without pride, you won't see a separate person to relate to. You will just see God.

Edited October 25, 2021 by Brittany

[Ascent X]

Long as you are a human or incarnated being, you are finite, So you have certain needs and preferences. 

Emotional, Social, Survival needs, etc Along with cultural programming. That’s have shaped the unique individual person you are.

This dictates your preferences. It makes perfect sense. Not confusing at all.

Obviously sexual attraction and relationship are about sexual reproduction, procreation.

You want a mate with the best and most suitable and compatible genetics, character traits, and social status, to then ensure the survival of your children , and chances they can reproduce themselves.

 

Old ugly ladies most likely have shit genetics, and are infertile, peak female fertility is like 16-25, after it drops, 30-40 children risk autism and birth defects.

Short men usually shittier genetics, were malnourished, harder to hunt for food, provide protection and resources, less social dominance.

etc etc

 

How the hell is this confusing.

 

True “non-dual” perspective is integrated and doesn’t  separate itself from duality. 
 

All these preferences are about Survival of your finite ego form. It makes perfect sense there. Life is a game, survival is a game.

overtime preferences change.

 

God/Source’s no preference, is same as preference and love for absolutely everything, every possible preference and experience for infinity.

 

Edited October 25, 2021 by Ascent X

[gettoefl]

why do most prefer the opposite sex

oh wait ...nature's ruse to ensure offspring

all others bar this are pretty easily transcendable as one matures

(however in future this preference will go too - all will be multi-sexual, sex will be with machines, reproduction will be the sole concern of the lab)

 

Edited October 25, 2021 by gettoefl