Men of this forum... how do you emote or share feelings?

[charlie cho]

In my observation, it's the people who can deal with their emotions well who are most emotionally mature and grounded. People who do not know how to emote or even do therapy with their psyche are the ones who cause most trouble outside.

Do you guys just have friends to talk to of your feelings? 

Do you hire therapists. 

I used to have a brother where I did this. We had a falling out. Some of my friends. And we had a falling out. IDK, how do you guys do it. 

[Terell Kirby]

@charlie cho men should emote feelings by first deconstructing the myth that emotions are not manly. This idea is culturally programmed and quite toxic.

[Raphael]

I express them like on this video below: I feel them, I let myself cry, express my rage, express my happiness, etc. I observe them, I notice the beliefs connected to them, I notice my environmental influence, the influence of the information that I consume. I also express them through journaling.

 

 

 

[ivankiss]

It has never been an issue for me. In fact; talking about feelings is one of the things I enjoy the most. More often than not, all else seems like a distraction, when conversing with someone.

Having a good friend to whom you can talk to openly can be great. But even that has its limitations.

The way I've accumulated emotional maturity is by devoting my life to music. I grew so much just by listening. And I learned how to express myself, quite accurately, by playing.

Sometimes a melody can tell more than a thousand words.

[charlie cho]

@ivankiss wow

[kamwalker]

It actually happens pretty naturally with the right person. You pick up on their lack of judgement and become open to expressing your emotions with them. I have two friends, one is a guy and one is a girl that I can do this with. It’s not an all the time thing because people don’t want to become your therapist but it’s very helpful. 

[BlackMaze]

After clearing up a ton of buried emotions through journaling and by reading some books and working on it in general i don't have the need to share negative emotions because i don't have much on them in my system left. I do like to express myself through songs. I let myself express stuff without the stupid idea that it's a feminine trait. It could come out in a masculine way or not. I actually feel more masculine when i allow myself to be completely open with the danger of my identity being labeled as feminine lol. I am just trying to be honest most of the time and be an emo when i feel like it and that's about it.

You can feel it when a person is the right one to talk about emotions or not. The conversation is either flowing or not. 

[AlphaAbundance]

@charlie cho You could say there is expression with others and by yourself. One has the added social benefits, and the other can be seen as more versatile and independent.

As for expression with others, just talking and expressing both non-verbally and verbally your emotions, thoughts, feelings, desires, fears, etc.

As for expression with self, you can journal, write letters, make art, make music, etc, but I personally find journaling the most effective

[peanutspathtotruth]

@charlie cho From my experience, there are two components that informed my own emotional growth process, the second of which being directly related to your question of "sharing":

• Firstly, I simply learned (and continuously practice) to face whatever is true in my experience. Is it uncomfortable? Is it painful? Is it the most dreadful sadness I ever felt, the most intense fear? Learning to stay with that in every situation, and to leave it alone (not manipulating anything, not pushing your feelings away or clinging to anything) is the key practice to understand oneself. Just saying "alright, be here, I love you" to anything is telling your mind that it can trust you, that it can relax, that it is allowed to feel what it wants to feel. And if this is founded on the recognition that all is God and that any partitioning in your psyche is simply a result of not seeing that Truth and is thus withdrawing awareness and love from feelings and thoughts - then this practice is simply an application of knowing your true Self. There is no exception, it is all you, it is all to be loved and seen as divine. This is what healing is - emotions get felt for what they truly are, energy moves and transforms, and understanding happens. It's mostly observation, love and curiosity that is needed, together with knowing your Self. This is not only good for emotional mastery, but for inquiring into your whole psyche and God itself.
• Secondly, there is social contact. I feel extremely fortunate for being with people in my life who are greatly sensitive, have huge, open hearts and who are oriented towards Truth and God and with whom I share the recognition of our united Being. There is regular sharing of whatever wants to be shared. No shame, no judgement, no expectations. For example - if I feel very sad and there is a feeling that I should feel happy right now, and there come secondary reactions of feeling I'm doing something wrong for feeling this etc. - this is something that I would share with these people. There is as much space as necessary to express this, and there is no expectation about others commenting on this, giving me advice etc. It's like the practice above, but just in a community: simple, honest, loving observation based on Truth. Everything else happens organically. To be able to have this social environment definitely deepened my emotional clarity and the skill to surrender into and feed our collective field of Self Realization and Love. I learned so much about myself, others, and our collective dynamics. This is fucking powerful. In such environments, together we heal faster and our consciousness is multiplied. I wish for every being to have such spaces, and I think we can work towards that  

Edited October 24, 2021 by peanutspathtotruth

[TheAlchemist]

I recently started having some open conversations with myself, where I identify a feeling I am feeling and then look into what need has been met or unmet. There's usually some unmet or met need behind any emotion. Recognizing and acknowledging that need in myself is very healing. I feel joy and satisfaction after I do this process, because it fulfills my need for being understood. It's a real life hack. 

[charlie cho]

@Knowledge Hoarder some troll 

[charlie cho]

@Raphael I heard Steve Jobs did some of that therapy in his early twenties. Releasing and screaming out internal psychological turmoil. Especially because he had complexities about him being adopted. 

Kicking and screaming. - I guess I'll be doing that with boxing and jiujitsu I'm doing now. 

Screaming - I'll probably do this with singing and composing music 

expressing my psychological crevices - through musical lyrics? poems? Idk

I can compose, that's why there are many music references up there haha 

[charlie cho]

@kamwalker yep, it's not healthy to make my friends my therapists, unless they want to be my therapists. 

[charlie cho]

@BlackMaze really? Just through journalling, the emotional needs are met? 

I get where you are coming from. 

But I do miss the component of sharing my emotions with another human being. 

[charlie cho]

On 10/25/2021 at 3:07 AM, peanutspathtotruth said:

@charlie cho From my experience, there are two components that informed my own emotional growth process, the second of which being directly related to your question of "sharing":

• Firstly, I simply learned (and continuously practice) to face whatever is true in my experience. Is it uncomfortable? Is it painful? Is it the most dreadful sadness I ever felt, the most intense fear? Learning to stay with that in every situation, and to leave it alone (not manipulating anything, not pushing your feelings away or clinging to anything) is the key practice to understand oneself. Just saying "alright, be here, I love you" to anything is telling your mind that it can trust you, that it can relax, that it is allowed to feel what it wants to feel. And if this is founded on the recognition that all is God and that any partitioning in your psyche is simply a result of not seeing that Truth and is thus withdrawing awareness and love from feelings and thoughts - then this practice is simply an application of knowing your true Self. There is no exception, it is all you, it is all to be loved and seen as divine. This is what healing is - emotions get felt for what they truly are, energy moves and transforms, and understanding happens. It's mostly observation, love and curiosity that is needed, together with knowing your Self. This is not only good for emotional mastery, but for inquiring into your whole psyche and God itself.
• Secondly, there is social contact. I feel extremely fortunate for being with people in my life who are greatly sensitive, have huge, open hearts and who are oriented towards Truth and God and with whom I share the recognition of our united Being. There is regular sharing of whatever wants to be shared. No shame, no judgement, no expectations. For example - if I feel very sad and there is a feeling that I should feel happy right now, and there come secondary reactions of feeling I'm doing something wrong for feeling this etc. - this is something that I would share with these people. There is as much space as necessary to express this, and there is no expectation about others commenting on this, giving me advice etc. It's like the practice above, but just in a community: simple, honest, loving observation based on Truth. Everything else happens organically. To be able to have this social environment definitely deepened my emotional clarity and the skill to surrender into and feed our collective field of Self Realization and Love. I learned so much about myself, others, and our collective dynamics. This is fucking powerful. In such environments, together we heal faster and our consciousness is multiplied. I wish for every being to have such spaces, and I think we can work towards that  

I guess feeding in and seeding into loving, sharing environments are crucial either there is one for us or not. whatever we do consciously or unconsciously, we might have to persist in feeding into consciousness rather than darkness, so conscious people who are emotionally intelligent will be more attracted to us. Sounds fucking woo woo, but I don't see a problem with my logic here. Rather, sometimes, the most conscious people were put to death by black holes of a son, such as jesus and socrates. Other than that, I think my logic is right. 

On 10/25/2021 at 4:37 AM, TheAlchemist said:

I recently started having some open conversations with myself, where I identify a feeling I am feeling and then look into what need has been met or unmet. There's usually some unmet or met need behind any emotion. Recognizing and acknowledging that need in myself is very healing. I feel joy and satisfaction after I do this process, because it fulfills my need for being understood. It's a real life hack. 

I guess I can sum that upto meditation/mindfulness/awareness of hidden emotions. 

[BlackMaze]

@charlie cho journaling was helpful to clear up buried emotions by expressing them. There are other ways to do this too. But you want your emotional needs to be met. What does this mean exactly for you? Do you just need a good friend or partner to talk about your emotions? Try to be perfectly honest with everybody, this helps tremendously to clear up emotions even if you have to sacrifice some relationships. If they don't become stronger, then they weren't worth it in the first place. 

Nobody really gives a fuck about my emotions or yours. That's the truth. You should learn to meet more of your emotional needs by yourself. Everyone in reality only care for themselves. They live in their own bubble. Unless they happen to be egoless which is very rare. Don't believe me if you don't want. 

[Username]

like that: 

 

I don't talk about feelings with anyone.

[mandyjw]

First, women aren't more emotional then men. If men think they have a hang up with emotions, then they do. If they don't they don't. There is no hang up for men, just a widely told narrative that this is true. 

You will have more arguments and blow ups with close relationships because there's actual momentum there. How did you deal with the falling out? Have you contacted them since? 

Also try journaling. Or flow of consciousness writing at first. It does not have to be expressed to a person, or even in language although that is sometimes the most satisfying route. 

[sara373]

@Knowledge Hoarder though this topic thread is for guys i relate what youre saying. Only 1 person in life I shared my inner thoughts and personal feelings, nothing came of it. I still don't trust like I have to, and that's okay. Maybe I have started to care less about keeping my own feelings or thoughts to myself, less worried. Except for oversharing, there's always a part of yourself hold back and not share with anyone because well..., again with trust. The thing is, not being trusting completely is fine depending on context.

Journalling is good. I find myself doing so online too, it used to be paper and pen but the notebooks fill quickly.

[bejapuskas]

Make sure that if you only talk about feelings with someone, it does not go into overthinking territory, crossing boundaries or like too overwhelming to the point it has no outcomes. That can happen if one does not discuss anything else. I personally have more porous boundaries than most people and I might sometimes project it on others, which may not always be a good thing. However, being open oneself can encourage others to be open, it just should not be forced.

Hiring a therapist can be a nice thing, there is a lot of stigma about getting professional help. Therapy can even be good for minor stuff, not just emergency cases when you are breaking down. The therapist can be a person who helps you understand yourself.

I think art is also a good thing for expressing emotions, plus creativity can be enhanced by emotions a lot. Anything from music, theater, drawing can help.

I also find climbing trees to be helpful.