I'm Good, but then I'm Bad. I'm Good, but then I'm Bad.

[Raphael]

I noticed a reoccuring pattern within me. What happens is that I see myself in a good light then it quickly switch to the opposite side and I see myself in a bad light.

I don't know if this is related but I'm often an all or nothing person: my highs are very highs and my lows are very lows. Also, my parents are the complete opposite: my mom is a very kind and caring woman where my dad is a very confrontational uncaring man.

Does anyone experienced something similar?

[Gesundheit2]

That's called mood swings. Pretty common if you're more in your feminine than in your masculine. Could be Bipolar, too, but unlikely.

[Raphael]

8 hours ago, Gesundheit2 said:

That's called mood swings. Pretty common if you're more in your feminine than in your masculine. Could be Bipolar, too, but unlikely.

Makes sense. I have been quite a lot in my feminine in the past two years because I had to heal (and I still continue to do that). I definitely don't have bipolar disorder because it's not extreme, but it's rather some self-perception switch.

I also often time feel a discrepancy because people around me tell me that I'm doing great where I feel that I didn't accomplish that much in life and lack some "normalcy" and basic things. There's a part of me that feels a bit empty (bad) because of that where another part is strategizing for the long term (good).

Edited October 23, 2021 by Raphael

[wma]

@Raphael be your own best friend. if you don't love you, who will?

[Raphael]

9 minutes ago, wma said:

@Raphael be your own best friend. if you don't love you, who will?

Thank you. I definitely have to be kinder, more accepting, and more loving towards myself.

Edited October 23, 2021 by Raphael

[Gesundheit2]

2 hours ago, Raphael said:

Makes sense. I have been quite a lot in my feminine in the past two years because I had to heal (and I still continue to do that).

Nothing wrong with the feminine per se, but it's not healing in and of itself just because it's "The Divine Feminine".

You might have been out of touch with your feminine side prior to that, which probably caused and forced you into a new state of balance/homeostasis. So now it's likely that you might have gone too far (although not necessarily far enough) in the opposite direction, and as a result you could have skewed more into the feminine on the expense of the masculine. Nothing wrong with that either, and it's pretty much par for the course. You can only find the proper balance after experiencing the extremes.

2 hours ago, Raphael said:

I also often time feel a discrepancy because people around me tell me that I'm doing great where I feel that I didn't accomplish that much in life and lack some "normalcy" and basic things. There's a part of me that feels a bit empty (bad) because of that where another part is strategizing for the long term (good).

Achievements, or lack thereof, do not determine your worth. And it's far more enjoyable to be doing stuff without placing much expectations or focus on the outcomes. Learn to be detached from outcomes while at the same time staying driven by your purpose.

[Raphael]

14 minutes ago, Gesundheit2 said:

You might have been out of touch with your feminine side prior to that, which probably caused and forced you into a new state of balance/homeostasis. So now it's likely that you might have gone too far (although not necessarily far enough) in the opposite direction, and as a result you could have skewed more into the feminine on the expense of the masculine. Nothing wrong with that either, and it's pretty much par for the course. You can only find the proper balance after experiencing the extremes.

Yeah, that's something that definitely happened to me. I'm trying to find my balance here.

16 minutes ago, Gesundheit2 said:

Achievements, or lack thereof, do not determine your worth. And it's far more enjoyable to be doing stuff without placing much expectations or focus on the outcomes. Learn to be detached from outcomes while at the same time staying driven by your purpose.

That's something that I have been able to do, but I still have some residues to work through here.

Thanks for your thoughts man.