So sick of addiction

[EntheogenTruthSeeker]

Like I don’t even enjoy this shit. I’ll be good for a couple days, then I’m just looking for an adrenaline rush. 
 

Today I took 200mg modafinil & 100mg caffiene. Then, after modafinil kicked in took another 100mg of caffiene. I felt like shit, expecting a rush of motivation/adrenaline like I dream of daily, but it just never happens, like 5% of the time. Most time, I just regret it and try to exercise/eat fruit and vegetables to get it out of my system. 
 

it’s been 8 years and my body is so degenerated. The drugs that used to give me insane highs are like I took nothing. 
 

I just finished a 27 hour grape fast which really helped, and my awareness is growing a lot, so I’m really starting to see how unsustainable and miserable this adrenaline addiction is making my life. 
 

I’m making progress month by month, sometimes week by week, but almost every week I’m relapsing or some huge emotional event. I’m addicted to the lows of crashing and highs. The plateau and boredom is too miserable, despite meditating and doing healthy habits. Two days of plateau and I find a way to get high. 
 

I wish I had money to seek magic mushrooms instead of these toxic substances society promotes and has readily available. I’m literally just taking whatever to get high. 
 

All I really want is clarity, oxygen inducing things, peace, health, hydration, natural flow of motivation, connection with the all encompassing awareness, therapy, deep and meaningful relationships, a part time job that’s stage green, and a huge 5MEODMT truama release. I have so much stress built up in my body, that any time I’m detoxing I just get so fucking angry I have to indulge in something or ill lose my temper. 
 

My LOAttraction and desires are all to be sober, detox, raw vegan, health conscious, stage green, but I have NO clue how to fucking get this illusory wiring in my brain that adrenaline/substance seeking will make me happy? I literally get 0 benefits from taking these things. It actually makes me way less productive and happy within 1 hour of ingestion. 
 

tips?:)

[LSD-Rumi]

There is no easy way around it. Suffer enough until you are sick of it that you want to have a healthy way of living. When you get to that point, it will be much easier to let go of addictions although it will still take many trials. 
Also, You seen Leo's video, " Awareness alone is curative"? it teaches one of the most basic principles in personal development  to treat addictions and adopt a healthy lifestyle.

Edited October 24, 2021 by LSD-Rumi

[funkychunkymonkey]

@LSD-Rumi what im at the point of :C hard fact thats kinda how the cycle breaks 

[RickyFitts]

This thread brings to mind a quote by Amoda Maa Jeevan that I saw a little while back:

Quote

'Have you noticed how the times you're tempted to reach out for something you think you need are the times you're not wanting to stop and face your discomfort?' 

I know that when I've examined my own addictive compulsions, I've found this to be the case. So the solution is simple, in theory at least: In the moments that you feel the yourself craving something, stop and face your discomfort.

But like I say, it's only simple in theory - it tends to be rather more tricky in reality, because our instinct tends to be to shrink from discomfort, to seek relief (and it's this tendency, as I say, which is at the root of addiction). But it's like anything, it gets easier with practice.

[Captain_Diabetes]

100mg caffeine that's it?? I drink 3 energy drinks a day of 200mg each

 

Well I did 

One day I woke up and was like shit wtf is wrong with u. Haven't touched energy drink in 2 months. 

Well the easy part was just not having any around me and not buying them.  Break the repeating cycle any way u can i gusss 

[Fearless_Bum]

Stop giving it power by no longer judging it. 

You feed the addiction by partaking in it or making a battle out of letting it go. 

Not undermining your situation bro, I totally get it. 

[flowboy]

@EntheogenTruthSeeker  The root of addiction is unprocessed pain from your past.

I used to think that quitting smoking made me a non-addict.

Then I wised up.

Coffee, tobacco, weird supplements, I'd abuse it all in order to feel that nice, focused dopamine rush.

When I cut it out, I would still abuse netflix and youtube.

What substance you take or not take doesn't have anything to do with whether you are addicted.

I healed from my addiction when I did emotional integration work, where I gave appropriate love and understanding to all the unanswered questions my child-me had, when things happened that he could not understand and process.

I went through ages 3 to 18. Reprocessed what my inner child went through. Forgave my bullies.

Recently, I had an experience where I started to remember things from before I was born.

I've had coffee in my cupboard for weeks now, and zero inclination to touch it.

That is unheard of for me.

I'd always tell people: "there's some things that if I have them, they will be consumed. Coffee and beer and chocolate belong in that category"

That is no longer so.

Reprocessing old pain is the only thing that works to truly remove that desire to feel differently.

Edited November 16, 2021 by flowboy

[EntheogenTruthSeeker]

@flowboy great insight! Thanks! Do you have a video for how to do that technique? 
 

Also, sorry everybody. I did not see you all respond to this until now or I was too depressed to respond  at the time

[Fearless_Bum]

All addictive behaviors stem from fear, discover what fear is and boom, there is only love and all that doesn't serve you leaves gracefully. 

Notice that any excuse you make is coming from a place of fear. 

Notice that the attempt to "win the battle" over yourself with these addictions is coming from a place of fear. 

[Farnaby]

@flowboy I agree. I have experienced a similar thing with weed. However, I still notice unresolved agitation and painful emotions that I numb with social media, Netflix and sometimes video games. So I guess there are more layers to process.

[Striving for more]

On 16/11/2021 at 9:58 AM, flowboy said:

@EntheogenTruthSeeker 

Reprocessing old pain is the only thing that works to truly remove that desire to feel differently.

I hope this works for YouTube/internet search addiction & procrastination. 

Can this be effectively done all alone, with journalling or something?