"You Only Fail When you Quit"

[Thought Art]

I think this is an important thing to remember.

I failed two exams throughout my my studying to be an accountant. It was for a Payroll Compliance Practitioner certification. Now, this was probably one of the most technical, dry, boring ass thing I've ever studied. But I was glad I was doing it because it really pushed my limits. The math wasn't that difficult, but remember all the nuances, regulations, fine points etc was challenging. 

I have noted that failure of exams, etc is a trigger for me. I start to think about the future, to beat myself up, to stop loving myself, to bully myself for the mistakes I made. But, I think I am now entering into a new way of looking at my life.

I realize that perhaps from watching Leos' videos I built some kind of pseudo high expectation of myself. I now fear that failure on an exam means I can't live up to my expectations or dreams. But this doesn't add up.

While reading a book by Russel Simmons he mentions that, even the best people in their fields today, failed many times where the first started out.

Now, doing payroll is not necessarily my dream. But, I see it as an important part because the more I can understand money, understand what technical knowledge is like, use the structure of making finer distinctions in other areas of my life, and to use this skill to increase my earning potential while I set up my Qigong business. 

Failing is okay. In fact, if it happens it is what should happen. I am learning not to be in resistance too it.

Also, I failed both of those exams largely to to fear and self doubt. I was doubting my ability to write an exam on something so technical without being able to research and remember all the nuances in the text book. I actually think administrative work is a skill and strength of mine, but exams are not. However, I can get better.

I will be writing challenge exams for this certification in the coming months, and I will pass each exam.

We do not fail when we fail. We fail when we quit.

So keep going. Remember your self love and worthiness is not tainted by mistakes or failures, or even quitting.

But, if you want to build this life you are dreaming up. Fail. It means you are learning.

I used to get upset when my books would get torn or stained while reading them, on the bus, or library, or cafe and in general. But, now I celebrate it because that is a book that has been read. If it was perfect white, stiff spine etc... It's because you didn't read it. A damaged book is a good sign.

Failure isn't a bad sign. But, a good one. Better than sitting around, smoking weed over thinking everything.

 

 

Edited October 22, 2021 by Thought Art

[gettoefl]

no failure only feedback no pain only penance no satisfaction only sanctification

[Nahm]

@Thought Art Beautiful!!

Failure is in the eye of the beholder, as no one else is getting stung.