Its Almost Impossible To Cure Loneliness

[Rilles]

Its such a deeply feeling rooted feeling that you will never really get rid of it. I have been alone for about 2 months in a new city(I mean physically, I still had contact with family through my phone), now Im back to socializing with real people and feel fine, but these months have provided me with a deep insight of social we really are.

I have entertained myself as much as I can and sometimes life was fine by myself but that feeling of "wrongness" was always lurking in the background.

Anyway, it was a good experiment, I definitely feel stronger now with more self-esteem, could easily do a retreat in the woods sometime in my life. 

TLDR: True loneliness is one of the hardest things to face. Probably incurable.

Edit: Changed title from "Literally Impossible" to "Almost Impossible"

Edited October 19, 2021 by Rilles

[Thought Art]

I rarely feel lonely 

I like being alone

It's totally possible... Don't create limiting beliefs..

Edited October 19, 2021 by Thought Art

[Rilles]

3 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

I rarely feel lonely 

I like being alone

It's totally possible... Don't create limiting beliefs..

Yes, Im mostly by myself, I like that since Im introverted. But I mean totally alone without anyone to hang out with for a month or year. Could you handle that? That would be miserable for me. You need some socialization I feel, Its like oxygen, of course you can walk around suffocating but its nice to breathe properly sometimes.

[Blackhawk]

Imagine how it would be like to always be permanently alone. And no one wants to be friend or anything with you even online. That's my life.

Edited October 19, 2021 by Blackhawk

[Rilles]

21 minutes ago, Blackhawk said:

Imagine how it would be like to always be permanently alone. And no one wants to be friend or anything with you even online. That's my life.

I sympathize with that but I dont sympathize with a victim mindset, the reason Im not lonely anymore is because I literally reached out TO people and made friends with them. This post was made for me to share an insight, not to wallow. 

[Blackhawk]

14 minutes ago, Rilles said:

I sympathize with that but I dont sympathize with a victim mindset, the reason Im not lonely anymore is because I literally reached out TO people and made friends with them. This post was made for me to share an insight, not to wallow. 

Sure my problem is just that I have a victim mindset and I deliberately choose all this, *sighs*.

See, I'm alone even here in this matter, because no one understands me even here about this matter.

Edited October 19, 2021 by Blackhawk

[Moksha]

Love and belonging is recognized in Maslow's hierarchy, and other psychological models, as a basic human need. As with every model, there are probably some exceptions, but for most it is important to our well being.

If someone is fully enlightened, they will still probably engage with others, but the motivation is different. The Buddha didn't need others, and realized that we are ultimately the same, but he cared about helping people end their suffering, even within the dream.

[Rilles]

1 minute ago, Blackhawk said:

Sure my problem is just that I have a victim mindset and I deliberately choose all this, *sighs*.

Dont strawman me. Im just saying you have options. Your hill is probably steeper than mine, but if you gave 110% for 5 years to solve your problem you would be a different person by then.

[Rilles]

4 minutes ago, Moksha said:

Love and belonging is recognized in Maslow's hierarchy, and other psychological models, as a basic human need. As with every model, there are probably some exceptions, but for most it is important to our well being.

If someone is fully enlightened, they will still probably engage with others, but the motivation is different. The Buddha didn't need others, and realized that we are ultimately the same, but he cared about helping people end their suffering, even within the dream.

Agreed. Im sure if I was fully Awake loneliness would not be a big issue but Im a very basic human ego right now. 

Edited October 19, 2021 by Rilles

[Breakingthewall]

3 minutes ago, Blackhawk said:

Sure my problem is just that I have a victim mindset and I deliberately choose all this, *sighs*.

See, I'm alone even here in this matter, because no one understands me even here about this matter.

What do you think keeps you isolated? Usually the problem is not accepting oneself, seeing one's life as an unfortunate tragedy, spending the day ruminating on defects and complexes. do the work necessary to fully accept yourself, and people will come to you

[charlie cho]

@Rilles thats the definition of thinking black and white

[Rilles]

Just now, charlie cho said:

@Rilles thats the definition of thinking black and white

What are you referring to?

[Blackhawk]

2 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

What do you think keeps you isolated? Usually the problem is not accepting oneself, seeing one's life as an unfortunate tragedy, spending the day ruminating on defects and complexes. do the work necessary to fully accept yourself, and people will come to you

Because I'm unlikable and unlovable.

Hahahah "just do the work and accept yourself, that will solve everything", just stop.

[Tyler Durden]

@Rilles You are alone as God forever but you created so many people to forget about that. Make the most out of your creation. 

[Breakingthewall]

6 minutes ago, Blackhawk said:

Because I'm unlikable and unlovable.

Hahahah "just do the work and accept yourself, that will solve everything", just stop.

Yeah man, i didn't say that the work is easy. Get the shit off of you and get to the root. the root is that you are the reality. all that unlovable and unpleasant are relative concepts that have been engraved on you by interaction with other people. deconstruct all of that down to the core. It is an exciting job, and if you do not do it, only darkness awaits you, so less victimization and more get to the point

[Rilles]

13 minutes ago, Tyler Durden said:

@Rilles You are alone as God forever but you created so many people to forget about that. Make the most out of your creation. 

 I like the friends in my head.

[TheAlchemist]

Also @Blackhawk

Clearly there is a need for connection and intimacy.

That's not a sign of your deficiency as a person, but a sign of your humanity.

You can recognize that you have this need and then work together with yourself to build a strategy to start finding ways to meet that need. 

But first and foremost, recognize the reality that you have this need that is not being met. Having needs is part of being human. 

Edited October 19, 2021 by TheAlchemist

[Rilles]

7 minutes ago, TheAlchemist said:

Also @Blackhawk

You clearly have a need for connection and intimacy.

That's not a sign of your deficiency as a person, but a sign of your humanity.

You can recognize that you have this need and then work together with yourself to build a strategy to start finding ways to meet that need. 

But first and foremost, recognize the reality that you have this need that is not being met. Having needs is part of being human. 

Totally. This was probably an important phase for me to go through. I am a human with needs, true. It has made me more outgoing in the sense that I was so desperate to make friends that I stopped caring so much about how I come off when I reach out to a stranger, something has definitely changed in me. Im not pushy though, its more mentally that I have overcome a hurdle. "Just do it!" mentality.

Edited October 19, 2021 by Rilles

[Carl-Richard]

Social interactions and emotional bonds are some of the strongest promoters of a healthy self-regulatory capacity (the general ability to handle stressors). It's only really beaten by meditation (and sleep)  

[Nahm]

Replace loneliness time with developing a talent with what you love time and you’ll turn what is troublesome into what is the greatest of experience. We all become an icing on that cake. What arises is curative, not some thing to be cured.

Ego isn’t a thing one is and no longer be’s, but is the thought activity in & of itself, that one is separate (an ego). The connotations clear out by popping in a different word, like frog. ‘I’m a frog right now’.