How do I stop "hating" myself

[Javfly33]

 Is clear at this point That there is some kind of intense energy around my body, i Dont know if its because of beliefs, thoughts, energies, Chakras o karma or Who knows, But It just creates a Life which fundamentally revolves around self-neglect, shame, etc.

Sometimes i sit myself in the middle of bed, and if i become very aware, i start to look at my hands/body and i become conscious my ego Absolutely hates this being. What a mothefucker. Ego can not fucking love uh.

But..the ego is me, of course.

I know i am creating It. The question is how do i stop creating It. I have no idea. I have spent some couple of years doing small doses of psychs for introspection, reading some books, and went to therapy some times. It was meh, particularly with the psychs i thought i was making progress But then you see to years forward the energy IS still there. So thats why i changed strategy and focused on ACTION.  Currently Im focusing on making moves on my career which challenge me (like i accepted a manager role which helps me to view myself as leader role, which felt good, develops masculine side), and approaching Girls. 

Is obvious to say the latest doesnt go that well because i feel "that energy" around me most of the time. I am still working out in making It an habit also.

No FAP/noporn helps But It doesnt solve the issue 100%.

The possibility of going to a therapist IS there as an "add-on" (not as a Magic pill definetely) But i would like to "attack" the issue from all possible angles.

I have Googled several keywords to try to research this stuff seriously. Nobody seems to know What really is self esteem (or the absence of It), love, hate, shame, etc.

I find hard to believe as a society we still Dont have a manual to tackle this issues. 

Currently i am 26 years old and i feel this is a critical age. On one part i feel i am somehow moving towards healing, and other times i feel i am really going in circles, years pass, and i still feel the same way and behave the same.

[Terell Kirby]

How do you stoping hating yourself?

Simple: make a decision that you are no longer going to hate yourself.

See, you must realize that hating yourself is giving you some kind of benefit/payoff.  And to begin loving yourself causes fear in you because you think there is a downside to doing that.

This is how the mind works. It does not want to let go of self serving attachments, even if those attachments (self hate in this example) are detrimental.

Be courageous and start loving yourself and your flaws.

Edited October 19, 2021 by Terell Kirby

[Nahm]

The manual is meditation, and the emotions are the compass. Sometimes this is actually learned most deeply by not using them at all. Sometimes we end up home by looking under every rock. We try putting everything in, to let everything out. 

[Raze]

try IFS therapy

[BipolarGrowth]

To build self esteem, you have to show yourself that you’re capable or being or achieving something you hold in high regard or will hold in high regard once you have it. For me, I pursued my highest goals and eventually you know your worth and place in the world whether people reciprocate it or not. Success in regular life can help first if your overall goals are spiritual. 

[PurpleTree]

have you tried metta (loving kindness) meditations?

[yetineti]

Why’d you put the “ “ around “hating” in the title?

You know you love yourself. It was never really “hating.”

What was it?

Same thing with the word “attack.” Why write it like that, if not to imply it is not really the word you chose?

What is the “hate” and “attacking” but Love?

You love yourself, always have, and you’d like to be better; improve. How do you improve without “attacking” or “hating?”

Improvement requires change. Change requires you to get rid of something - the process doesn’t feel good. 
 

But the prize, the prize.

Edited October 19, 2021 by mw711

[Javfly33]

@Terell Kirby ?

@Nahm Yeah , definetely ?

6 hours ago, BipolarGrowth said:

To build self esteem, you have to show yourself that you’re capable or being or achieving something you hold in high regard or will hold in high regard once you have it. For me, I pursued my highest goals and eventually you know your worth and place in the world whether people reciprocate it or not. Success in regular life can help first if your overall goals are spiritual. 

That clears things out for me ? 

[Shin]

Start an ACT therapy and stick with it.

[Proserpina]

I suffered from this big time. It was deeply ingrained with circumstances frequently reminding me that I'm not hating myself enough.  I would self harm as a result.  One day I self harmed so badly leaving permanent large scarring I no longer felt the need to hate myself anymore.  Like I had hated on myself enough.  Everyone, including my abusers,  can go screw themselves. 

So umm... maybe just let yourself hate yourself fully until you no longer feel the need to? Don't self harm of course like I did but just totally explore it. 

Edited October 19, 2021 by Proserpina