I'm in Hell. AMA (Ask me anything)

[Blackhawk]

5 minutes ago, Rilles said:

What is it you feel that you need from a women (or man) that you dont have? Can you give it to yourself? I have been single for a few years and I enjoy life alot, I dont feel like I am in hell, whats the difference between you and me? 

I don't know.

No I can't give it to myself.

[Rilles]

2 minutes ago, Blackhawk said:

I don't know.

No I can't give it to myself.

Then figure it out. There is something you feel is missing? 

 

Do you think a GF will make you socially accepted? Is it a self-esteem issue? Are you afraid of being perceived as a loser to society?

[Blackhawk]

2 minutes ago, Rilles said:

Then figure it out. There is something you feel is missing? 

I don't know.

3 minutes ago, Rilles said:

Do you think a GF will make you socially accepted? Is it a self-esteem issue? Are you afraid of being perceived as a loser to society?

No.

[Rilles]

1 minute ago, Blackhawk said:

I don't know.

No.

If youre just gonna give short answers like that then its hard to help you. Hope you figure it out and feel better! Peace!

[SQAAD]

I'm in hell also from time to time. Hold on there. You're not alone 

[Rilles]

@Blackhawk

Are you old user Mikael89? You seem similar to him and youre both from Sweden... He used to make these kind of posts too.

[Blackhawk]

11 minutes ago, SQAAD said:

I'm in hell also from time to time. Hold on there. You're not alone 

It's much worse for me.

9 minutes ago, Rilles said:

@Blackhawk

Are you old user Mikael89? You seem similar to him and youre both from Sweden... He used to make these kind of posts too.

Yes.

[SQAAD]

@Blackhawk

2 hours ago, Blackhawk said:

Not really. There's no help and nothing helps, like I said.

Shitty (unlovable) personality> total loneliness> hell.

There is tons of help out there & I  bet you haven't tried many different things. I experience miserable days too. This is normal part of life. We all feel difficult emotions. But if you feel terrible all the time then that is very problematic...

Find the root cause and work on it. I think you need to work on your self-esteem. And learn to love yourself exactly as you are. You don't need other people to love you. Learn to accept yourself with all your flaws. 

As you grow older you realize that you can't solve all of your problems. But you can outgrow them. We have this unrealistic expectation that we are supposed to be funny, and rich, and tall , and this and that. That's not how reality works.

In reality you are gonna have many flaws as a human being. Learn to accept yourself as you are. That's the bottom line. But it takes a lot of work. Maybe if you appreciated yourself more you wouldn't care so much about the approval of others.

Also work on your life to impove it as much as you can. But as i said before, as you get older you'll realise more and more that Acceptance is the only long-lasting answer to your problem.... 

My life is far from perfect. I don't have a gf also for years now. But i don't care about it. Nor do i make a big deal out of it.  Everyday i enjoy working on my life purpose. 

Sometimes we feel pressured from society to fit into these boxes. ''I should have a gf , 10 millions dollars, the six pack abs and etc''. Thats not how reality works.  There are people who have nothing but are still happy. I believe a lot of your suffering comes from social conditioning. Your mind seems to be infected with all these ideas of how you should be. This causes suffering for you. I can sense that.

If nothing helps you, go visit a professional. I think it is worth it.

Edited October 17, 2021 by SQAAD

[Rilles]

11 minutes ago, Blackhawk said:

Yes.

Lol. 

[Blackhawk]

1 minute ago, Rilles said:

Lol. 

Very funny.

[SQAAD]

Check this video. I watch it every time i feel shitty. This video puts things into perspective. And can lessen your suffering in a counter-intuitive way.

 

Edited October 17, 2021 by SQAAD

[SQAAD]

One last thing that i noticed about you is that it seems like you believe that your situation can't be improved. This is very dangerous. You need to have some hope... If you don't believe that things can improve then that is the 1st step that kills you. You can't go any further with this attitude.

If you experience clinical depression then i can understand not having any hope. I also feel hopeless from time to time but not always. Generally i see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Edited October 17, 2021 by SQAAD

[Nahm]

 AMA

How does understanding the emotions experienced liberate one from such a place?

Thank you in advance for your answer.  

[Cathal]

do something despite how you feel, do something you are absolutely terrified of and embrace the fear - you will feel alive

[Elisabeth]

1) What is the impulse for writing this post? What is it you need from us? 

2) Is there anyone you can go see in real life? 

[Tudo]

come to brazil

[Raptorsin7]

@Blackhawk If you're in hell, that means there's part of you that knows or is aware of the fact that you are in hell.

As you read this right now you are conscious and know what's being said because of the knowing part of your experience. Notice that you can notice the fact that you aware conscious of everything around you as you read this.

Make the knowing of your own conscious experience the main point of your attention.

You can go from recognizing you are in hell, to recognizing that you are recognizing anything at all and just rest in space. 

[Gili Trawangan]

1. How is your diet?

2. Do you exercise regularly?

[Holygrail]

Accept the present moment, there's no pain and suffering there. recontextualize your situation thats causing you you're depression, everything is love, everything is perfection, happening exactly as it should, there's nothing to do, you're already at your destination, you're the entirety of existence, you're complete and whole. Now, since youre living within duality and you're fighting to survive, just become hopeful that at the other side of your goals will be pleasure, fulfillment and happiness. Baby step your goals and go at it smoothly, not trying to do everything at once, and you'll eventually get there. Start with proper nutrition because it has a hugeeee effect on your well-being and use your extra vitality, well-being and focus to help you achieve your other goals.

[happyhappy]

20 hours ago, Blackhawk said:

Very funny.

c'mon bro u got this... getting a gf might not be that hard for ya(if it is what u really need) IMO, when we say we want a gf, we are calling forth the  things we expect from GF . maybe they might not even be fulfilled by the gf u expect.

if u really pursue that , as somebody said, it is worth working on the outer . learn how to get a gf broo!!

even i didn't have relationships for years but i was  at peace with it. it is  relative u know....

 

@SQAAD 100% brooo ...very true...