Narcissism during shrooms

[PepperBlossoms]

So here are some funny, selfish thoughts I have had during/at the beginning/at the end of trips:

-You are so special to be getting this information.  Most people do not have it.

-You are a volunteer going into this trip on behalf of consciousness to explore consciousness (yourself)

-Don't tell the others as this information is an advantage.  Knowledge is power.

-You can see what everyone else cannot see - that climate change/poverty/etc. is all a game and so is the money game, the social game, the family game, etc.  Shhh you must not speak about these games we have constructed out loud or the normies will hear you.

-Universal consciousness is speaking to me.

[decentralized]

I don't know if it's satire or not but it looks like false prophecy syndrome to me.

If you don't return to the village humbled, you did something wrong.

[lmfao]

@decentralized "I don't know if it's satire or not" mate they're describing their thoughts during a trip

[decentralized]

@lmfao I meant I'm not sure if they really felt narcissistic after a trip because all of the statements in their post are valid in some level. 

[PepperBlossoms]

I've had problems with being selfish and uncaring for others and so maybe that is just me seeing the selfishness as manifested in the trips.

Weed/cbd/delta 8 has inspired more empathy notions for caring about stuff other than the human vessel me.  Shrooms has inspired for existential reality reframing but even if during it I am crying/laughing, afterwards has been an ego boost maybe because I feel proud of the info that I have imagined/experienced.  Maybe I just haven't taken enough and the ego is wanting to hold on.

[Nahm]

1 hour ago, PepperBlossoms said:

Maybe I just haven't taken enough and the ego is wanting to hold on.

Do what you will of course, but I would try psychotherapy. Psychedelics don’t quite work the way you believe they do. Psychotherapy is a specific therapy, and is tailored to what you’re describing. It can help with seeing that you are ‘holding on’, not this other thing, the ego. It’s essentially the unwinding of thought attachment, namely the thoughts that you need the substance or the therapy. Probably sounds like nothing is being said here, and “zen”, or “vague”, but the distinction is letting ‘something’ (belief isn’t really a thing per se) go, and not believing the thought about needing something, and then seeking that something. Find specifically, a psychotherapist not experiencing thought attachment. Not that you need to, and this is not meant in any personal way. Wish you the best, much love!

[PepperBlossoms]

@Nahm I have been going to a therapist for 3-4 months now but she's not a psychotherapist.

So, in me trying to better understand what you are saying - - is that I may be having an attachment to thoughts, information, and ideas and I may be thinking that I need those things as well as think that I need some outcome, some experience, and some way for life to be.  My "narcissism" is the thinking that it needs more of the ideas and information and it tells itself that it feels good when it gets more of that but I need to realize that no one, including me, needs those ideas, thoughts, or ways for life to be and that everything is okay however.  So I am tricking myself in thinking I am better for having those thoughts/experiences.

So if one does not need it, one may not attach to it, and then one does not have to seek it either.

So I need to stop thinking that I need anything or for anything to be any way and have more acceptance of what is.  To stop holding on to a dream, ideal, goal, thing and to just go with the flow.  To stop believing in the thoughts that we need anything.

I used to be super obsessed with my ideas and I couldn't stop thinking about them until I wrote about them or talked about them.  I have gotten somewhat better about the obsessions but still have them and will tell others about them.

I either need to exhaust the obsessions or just stop.

I can see if one stops holding on, does one stop growing/learning/seeking?  

But yet - it is somewhat opposing as for human prolonged life - we are to believe we need food/water.

[PepperBlossoms]

So I can see that people are picky about different stuff.

So if one person is picky about other's dresscode - that person could work on not holding on to the idea or being picky about what their coworkers wear.  Or another would be not holding on to the idea that employees are to be on time and arrive at or before 8 am and leave at or after 5 pm.

What about how the thoughts are helpful such as don't touch the hot stove?  Or, go to bed now so you aren't tired later?  Or take a shower so you don't smell?  Or earn some money so you will have money saved?

If one gives up attachment to the idea of being vegan or health conscious, one will then just eat whatever is put in front of them; regardless of how it is impacting the animals or impacts the physical/mental health (if it was a lot of sugar)

If one gives up attachment to being able to retire or trying to benefit things, one will just take whatever job is given to them, regardless of what the work did such as pollute the ocean or how much the work paid.

Is the line of thinking then that it doesn't matter what the impact is?  Then I can give up the attachment to the idea of being nice and just be however I feel like?

Stop believing in the thoughts and just live - - but we have thoughts regardless - - but just see the thoughts as thoughts and focus on what?  focus on what I am seeing but not what I am thinking - but what I think impacts what I see and what I see impacts what I think and thinking and seeing is kinda the same thing... so just don't obsess over any idea or image and just float

I really appreciate the suggestion - but also I would need to not feel attached to the suggestion either or attachment to the idea that I need the suggestion

[Nahm]

50 minutes ago, PepperBlossoms said:

@Nahm I have been going to a therapist for 3-4 months now but she's not a psychotherapist.

Perfect. 

50 minutes ago, PepperBlossoms said:

So, in me trying to better understand what you are saying - - is that I may be having an attachment to thoughts

Thoughts arise; I am having. 

50 minutes ago, PepperBlossoms said:

, information, and ideas and I may be thinking that I need those things as well as think that I need some outcome, some experience, and some way for life to be. 

My "narcissism" is the thinking that it needs more of the ideas and information and it tells itself that it feels good when it gets more of that but I need to realize that no one, including me, needs those ideas, thoughts, or ways for life to be and that everything is okay however.  So I am tricking myself in thinking I am better for having those thoughts/experiences.

Thoughts arise; me, I, mine. 

50 minutes ago, PepperBlossoms said:

So if one does not need it, one may not attach to it, and then one does not have to seek it either.

So I need to stop thinking that I need anything or for anything to be any way and have more acceptance of what is.  To stop holding on to a dream, ideal, goal, thing and to just go with the flow.  To stop believing in the thoughts that we need anything.

I used to be super obsessed with my ideas and I couldn't stop thinking about them until I wrote about them or talked about them.  I have gotten somewhat better about the obsessions but still have them and will tell others about them.

I either need to exhaust the obsessions or just stop.

I can see if one stops holding on, does one stop growing/learning/seeking?  

Thoughts arise; one. 

50 minutes ago, PepperBlossoms said:

But yet - it is somewhat opposing as for human prolonged life - we are to believe we need food/water.

Thoughts arise; we. 

 

Thoughts arise; problem. 

[Nahm]

3 hours ago, PepperBlossoms said:

Stop believing in the thoughts and just live - - but we have thoughts regardless

This understandably sounds like some zen bs in a certain way, but really consider this happens at light speed. 
 

Sidenote, to make great great new sense of all your psychedelic experiences, remove that “during shrooms” part. One way to point, any discernments, distinctions, or properties assigned to the psychedelic is actually projection. It’s like taking a teaching but missing it by believing it’s about the psychedelic. To ’embody’ instead of deflect, I’m guessing there are some things you are not comfortable with, specifically like feedback.
 

Analogously, any guitarist knows when there is the experience of feedback blaming the amplifier does not help. Actually, every single person in the crowd is aware of this.

[SgtPepper]

Your insights are a bit contradictory. You are experiencing universal consciousness yet you are creating deep separation between yourself and others through 'secrets' 'normies'.

Why do you think this is?

[Loba]

A good way to get past the need to be special is to realize that most people have this need and that it is perfectly okay to have it, and just see that these substances can trick you with those feelings.  But you noticed them and want to change them and that's what is unique.

Sometimes weed does this to me and what I do is look at people who are farther along or know more than I do and the feelings go away fast 

And then I thank the universe that there is so much more to know, it never ends!

[PepperBlossoms]

2 hours ago, Loba said:

A good way to get past the need to be special is to realize that most people have this need and that it is perfectly okay to have it, and just see that these substances can trick you with those feelings.  But you noticed them and want to change them and that's what is unique.

Sometimes weed does this to me and what I do is look at people who are farther along or know more than I do and the feelings go away fast 

And then I thank the universe that there is so much more to know, it never ends!

Yeah that is a good point on us all wanting to feel special and that we think we are more special after having gotten insights during and after taking a substance.  We can become cocky as we feel special.  Yeah there are lots of things to experience.

 

2 hours ago, SgtPepper said:

Your insights are a bit contradictory. You are experiencing universal consciousness yet you are creating deep separation between yourself and others through 'secrets' 'normies'.

Why do you think this is?

Good catch.  That's funny.  I guess I am making distinctions of the universe of everything being together but yet still also looking at the relative of things having differences and hence "secrets, normies" but yet what belongs to one belongs to all as it is all one.

  

PepperBlossoms said:

Stop believing in the thoughts and just live - - but we have thoughts regardless

4 hours ago, Nahm said:

This understandably sounds like some zen bs in a certain way, but really consider this happens at light speed. 
 

Sidenote, to make great great new sense of all your psychedelic experiences, remove that “during shrooms” part. One way to point, any discernments, distinctions, or properties assigned to the psychedelic is actually projection. It’s like taking a teaching but missing it by believing it’s about the psychedelic. To ’embody’ instead of deflect, I’m guessing there are some things you are not comfortable with, specifically like feedback.
 

Analogously, any guitarist knows when there is the experience of feedback blaming the amplifier does not help. Actually, every single person in the crowd is aware of this.

Regarding zen bs, can you elaborate? I guess I need to study zen devirly and zen and what that is.  Yeah I can see that stuff happens so fast and we aren't aware of what we are doing.  Good point on removing "during shrooms" as I am still the one having stuff happen regardless of what it was doing - - I have selfish thoughts regardless of whether it was on a substance or not but it was also interesting to see it happen and kinda weird too - - but I am the one making the thoughts.. so I am possibly choosing to think that.. choosing to be selfish or choosing to be selfless.  Yes I have historically had problems with feedback and not listening to others and am trying to get better at that.  I am being selfish talking about myself.

 

I already tried being more selfless in some of my interviews today and I think it was going better doing that so thanks for aiding in the inspiration to try to move away from that.

 

Thanks everyone so much for the comments.  You guys are nice to comment.

[Nahm]

@PepperBlossoms

Do you have a creative outlet?  That is the most significant path factor. Not instead of therapy or psychedelics, but it’s far more significant. I would go so far as to say the real deal, as it is no more thoughts, talking, and analyzing. I don’t mean that personally towards you, that’s just in large part the majority of most peoples’ activity. It’s like regurgitating versus actually creating. Another way to point, it’s the actual development of talent, as compared to thinking, talking or analyzing “it”. 
 

With narcissism the thought activity is primarily doing and saying for how one might be seen, where as creating is for the experience.

 

[PepperBlossoms]

That is a good point.  I have spent quite a bit of time analyzing ideas and concepts.  I would say that I create new concepts via epiphanies and then try to integrate those back in to the other concepts.  Do you have a creative outlet?

[OliverGrimes]

very familiar, but not always pleasant