Waking up Part 2(personal intimate journal)

[Preety_India]

Add notes later. 

 

Edited October 16, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I'm waiting for this Covid thing to get over with. 

Every time I step out of my house I get the jitters 

 

If someone is close to me I get super anxious. 

I still get nightmares about Covid from time to time. 

 

[Preety_India]

I'll be ditching my old job and looking for a new job in a few months once I totally feel free and not have to worry about Covid anymore 

Currently I work from home and Covid is the main reason for it. 

 

[Preety_India]

I mean crappy people who put me on ignore are still going to read my journal. 

Fuck off. 

Who cares. 

Crappy people are always going to play crappy games. 

Honestly do I give a fuck? 

 

[Preety_India]

To be honest I'm fed up with people's games as though I don't see it. 

Nah im not too stupid 

 

I instinctively sense whatever the fuck goes on. 

What is the best way to beat this feeling? 

Ignore 

Ignore 

Ignore 

And continue doing whatever you are doing. 

This is a lesson in Self worth. Just be you. 

Just meditate and let it go. 

Understand that there is something fundamentally lacking in such people and replaced by something superficial. 

You are good as you are. Nothing needs to change. Just be you. 

And don't be upset. 

Carry on being neutral. Just generally no other energy is better than your own energy. 

Move in with harmony. 

It's tough to beat energy that is toxic. 

You need to show that you're still thriving. 

You need to jive with those that carry on with you 

You have to create your own garden your own Frequency to attract those with a similar frequency. 

And one thing. Be free. Don't be bounded by stuff. 

Think about extremely strong people who create their own life and move on. Take inspiration from them 

They know that they don't need anyone. 

They aren't miserable enough to destroy others. 

They are too busy for that. 

I'll group these people as type P. 

And the other group of people as type R

 

Type P being those people who are very independent and strong. 

And type R are those people who are not that strong but run like deep waters, they are putting their small efforts into creating their own reality and take their own baby steps in this direction. Although they don't feel strong they do what little they can to continue living a good life. 

 

[Preety_India]

I just had a wonderful insight. 

The insight is that when you're in ultimate healing mode (like switch on that mode), you simply don't need anything to complete you. You're just whole by your own. You don't think about anything at all. It's like the absolute opposite of trauma. It's the purest joy. When you come back from it, you don't feel any anger pain or resentment. You don't feel like going to war or triggered or nervous or upset. 

You feel great and calm and peaceful 

             

You feel detached. You don't feel anything really matters. You feel free like a cool breeze across your face. You just generally do not care much about who is trying to hurt you because hurt just doesn't exist. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited October 16, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I feel so awful right now again but I'm trying to stay positive. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

 

Note to myself 

Try to think of all the good things that I can do. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Note to myself. 

Divide stuff into sections and deal with everything section by section. 

 

[Preety_India]

Divide stuff into

• Items / objects 
• Articles /subject /topic /label 
• Elements /values /factors/constituents /requirements 
• Sections/Areas 

Do one by one 

And also deal with the elephant in the room. 

 

Edited October 17, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Note to myself 

Focus on this one value 

• Higher judgement, better judgement

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Thinking about Mastery right now. 

I think I have basic level of intuition which is higher than the general public. But I shouldn't boast a lot because mine is still average on the Mastery ladder. There are many experts ahead of me. 

I have understood and come to this insight after the latest trail of incidents in my life that a higher intuition is absolutely the necessity and I mean really high levels of intuition, like master levels, much more higher than what I currently possess.. This will need some training. 

Also I have understood that a large majority of people actually compensate for lack of intuition with cognitive, technical, objective and broad analytical skills. This is not exactly bad but it overshadows the truth from people. There will always be an objective way of exploring and analyzing things, events, people, situations but intuition will beat this every time. The forecast of an intuitive person is light years ahead of someone's rudimentary analysis. Although I'm not against using objective thinking, I think it needs to be combined with intuition to have a modicum of truth to it. Or else it's simply a line drawn on a chalkboard with not much meaning to it beyond its mechanical state. 

So yea when it comes to Mastery, I want to incorporate some high level analytical skills but they will just be an adjunct to basic intuition not a replacement. 

The other levels of Mastery that I thought are useful are 

• High awareness.... Extremely high... Let's see what happens at such high levels 
• Precognitive intelligence... This ability is almost zero in the current human population unless you are born to be some mind reader. 

So Yea in short I'm going to be focusing on 

• High intuition 
• High awareness 
• Objective analysis (high level) 
• Precognitive intelligence 

 

[Preety_India]

Some of the values I gathered from my previous insights. 

Itjcw compassion detachments 

Fairness is added to the list 

Itjcw stands for intuition, truth, judgement, clarity, wisdom. 

Added Fairness, justice and general Fairness to the list 

So the updated list is 

• Intuition 
• Truth 
• Judgement
• Clarity 
• Wisdom 
• General compassion 
• Detachment 
• Fairness and justice and general Fairness. 

 

List of things more valuable at stage Green 

• Emotions 
• Twin flames 
• Seeing 
• Hearing 
• Smelling 
• Nature 

 

Edited October 18, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Some of the values I gathered from my previous insights. 

 

I think this represents the crown Chakra to me. 

On 15/10/2021 at 11:47 AM, Preety_India said:

 

Intuition

truth

judgement

clarity

wisdom

Tough love 

angels

general compassion

Detachment

Extreme politeness 

 

 

On 15/10/2021 at 11:55 AM, Preety_India said:

6 important high level values to focus on. 

• Dignity and politeness 
• Humility 
• Truth 
• Love and self love 
• Compassion 
• Wisdom 
• Understanding 

 

 

And updated lists 

Intuition 

Truth 

Judgement

Clarity 

Wisdom 

General compassion 

Detachment 

Fairness and justice and general Fairness.

 

 

 

... Side note - it's nice to be compassionate in life but it wears you down, that's when you realize it's not the highest goal or benchmark although it feels that way, the highest benchmark is wise judgement and understanding and this goes beyond the scope of normal compassion levels. I'll place both normal and high compassion at the Throat Chakra level just below the Crown level. The Crown level being the ultimate and Supreme spirituality. 

 

Edited October 18, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Lately I've been interested in Mark of the beast videos. 

 

[Preety_India]

Emotions are kind of the engine of our lives, logic and reason is a tool to enhance them. They’re not actually at odds like so many people seem to believe

[Preety_India]

There is a dual method of inspiring oneself that I had been thinking about. 

 

One is to energize oneself. This involves cultivating passion. 

And the other is to calm and pacify oneself. 

Both work synergistically. 

One force tries to activate and the other tries to pacify or relax. Because you cannot be productive in a hyper energized state. Over productivity can kill or cause serious damage to health. Underproductivity can cause depression. 

One way a person can inspire you is to help you win by encouraging and emboldening you through tough love and by pushing you. Pushing you to do the necessary work. At the same time, they can provide you gentle balance and comfort when you are suffering or in pain. So they inspire you to do better  and also offer you gentleness and support when you are down. A combination of tough love and sweet love. 

 

[Preety_India]

3 hours ago, Marcel said:

That’s a great system.
It’s like a push pull system almost.
 

Enough to steer someone in the right direction and keep them there, but also enough to catch someone if they fall off the road, are overwhelmed and or may need gentleness, encouragement and support. 

Hun you steal words from my mouth. 

You speak from my heart. 

 

[Preety_India]

The internet is generally a shitty place. It won't be too long before I retire from it. 

It's a cesspit of problems. It seems that it is very toxic in how it exists. Probably because of the fact that you could literally sit behind the keyboard and type whatever nonsense you want and direct it to another person with complete disregard for their mental health. 

Vulnerable people flock online and become victims of cyberbullying. 

It's hard to exist. Even places that you think in your head as safe are not exactly safe. 

Safe spaces are hard to create and require enormous labor. And I hope one day the internet will have a better future where it will be impossible for someone to harass or victimize another or use racist sexist language or target someone's personal life. Maybe a safe space will be created some day. And we can say goodbye to bullies and people who only come to trouble others and sort of enjoy the process of hurting others. A safe space where victims of trauma can heal peacefully. 

 

[Preety_India]

These days I'm coping much better generally. 

Venting helps a lot with this. 

I need a ton of emotional growth 

And it's going to be a hard road.