Sexuality During Relationship

[pixelwave]

Hi all

I'm 3 months together now with my girlfriend, I mean she's awesome. I think that's normal that I think that way the first couple of months, I mean we have a lot in common. It's crazy... We have the same mutual interests, we could talk for hours, she thinks the same like me. And I understand how she feels and sometimes she's so shocked that I know exactly what she thinks and wants.

But what I think for me is sometimes hard is I'm 21 and she's my first actual sex partner. Sometimes I can't stand the idea that she's been with 4 other guys before me. She's 22 btw...  It's just the idea, that is sometimes weird.

But I'm okey with it because probably kissed more girls then she kissed guys and I lost my virginity very late. But for me it was hard, I didn't want to do it with the someone I don't have a relationship with. I had a kind of one night stand this summer, but I during foreplay I realised I don't want her to be my first. I know I'm a guy and this sounds maybe a little stupid I don't know. But for sex I want trust. For sex I wanted to have a girlfriend.

So now we are actually really happy together, she loves me so much I feel that, and I feel the same. Even her mom adores me.

But the problem is that It's really hard for her to have an orgasm, she actually said she never had one or something like it's almost impossible. 

So I feel like an idiot, I don't know how to give her an orgasm, I tried couple of things but I just don't know what do to. I make sure the sex is about her and in the beginning I came to fast. I'm much better now but still not there yet. I tried some exercises those really helped me out.

I just don't know what to do. I experienced once that I was very close I guess because, she wanted more and more. And I had to leave because I had to make sure I was on time home, the way she looked at me that moment was crazyyyy. Like wohoww. I want that back, that moment. But that I know that wasn't an orgasm... I watched a video from Leo, he explained that a women should have multiple orgasms I want to give her that.

Usually when I cum, it's like it's game over. It's like the sex ends there. Is that normal? But that one time 'she was more crazyy about me, she wanted more... much more. '

Is there a way to train this, to handle this sort of problem. I don't believe she can't have an orgasm... If she never experienced that, I want to make sure that I show her that it's possible. Even if I'm quite unexperienced. 

I know this shouldn't be the number one thing in a relationship, but it's something I want some advice on. 

 

 

[SFRL]

3 hours ago, pixelwave said:

Hi all

I'm 3 months together now with my girlfriend, I mean she's awesome. I think that's normal that I think that way the first couple of months, I mean we have a lot in common. It's crazy... We have the same mutual interests, we could talk for hours, she thinks the same like me. And I understand how she feels and sometimes she's so shocked that I know exactly what she thinks and wants.

But what I think for me is sometimes hard is I'm 21 and she's my first actual sex partner. Sometimes I can't stand the idea that she's been with 4 other guys before me. She's 22 btw...  It's just the idea, that is sometimes weird.

But I'm okey with it because probably kissed more girls then she kissed guys and I lost my virginity very late. But for me it was hard, I didn't want to do it with the someone I don't have a relationship with. I had a kind of one night stand this summer, but I during foreplay I realised I don't want her to be my first. I know I'm a guy and this sounds maybe a little stupid I don't know. But for sex I want trust. For sex I wanted to have a girlfriend.

So now we are actually really happy together, she loves me so much I feel that, and I feel the same. Even her mom adores me.

But the problem is that It's really hard for her to have an orgasm, she actually said she never had one or something like it's almost impossible. 

So I feel like an idiot, I don't know how to give her an orgasm, I tried couple of things but I just don't know what do to. I make sure the sex is about her and in the beginning I came to fast. I'm much better now but still not there yet. I tried some exercises those really helped me out.

I just don't know what to do. I experienced once that I was very close I guess because, she wanted more and more. And I had to leave because I had to make sure I was on time home, the way she looked at me that moment was crazyyyy. Like wohoww. I want that back, that moment. But that I know that wasn't an orgasm... I watched a video from Leo, he explained that a women should have multiple orgasms I want to give her that.

Usually when I cum, it's like it's game over. It's like the sex ends there. Is that normal? But that one time 'she was more crazyy about me, she wanted more... much more. '

Is there a way to train this, to handle this sort of problem. I don't believe she can't have an orgasm... If she never experienced that, I want to make sure that I show her that it's possible. Even if I'm quite unexperienced. 

I know this shouldn't be the number one thing in a relationship, but it's something I want some advice on. 

 

 

I will put some things in perspective for you. 

The girl says she never had an orgasm/or that it's very hard for her to do so. Either way it's not you messing up there. 

Secondly she goes crazy during the sex so she doesnt experience it like bad.

Also what do you try to make her orgasm? Most girls don't orgasm from the dick. I would say only about 1/4 to 1/3 of them can. And even then not every time they have sex. 

So you either have to finger her clit, or you have to go down on her. Oral sex being the most effective method when you get some practice. How do you practice you may ask? Just start doing it. Maybe watch some videos. 

Also if she never had an orgasm and you go down on her licking her pussy she may find it weird and maybe make you stop. Because if she never had an orgasm from it then she can't appreciate it like that yet. For her all she knows pleasure comes from the dick. But just practice oral sex on her, if you have to take a few attempts, it doesn't need to be a first try success. 

So you have to understand that girls are not all the same. Some really can't come. For some it's very difficult. For some it's very easy. Also the intensity differs. With some girls it's really hard to make them orgasm but then when they come it's like Armageddon is happening. Some girls they come real easy, and it seems like they just have one orgasm after the other like it's one 20 minute orgasm or so but it's not that intense. Some girls come easy but it's very feint and barely noticeable. Some girls.....I can go on the variety is endless. 

 

Edited December 18, 2016 by STC

[pluto]

Tease the hell out of her, make her want it so bad, make her wait for it and let her know who's the man, this drives them crazy for you.. be the mastermind and the one in control and when its time, keep her pleasing and orgasm in mind not yours. 

More foreplay and enjoyment of the present moment and less thinking about sex in general, just think about pleasing her and driving her wild. When she reacts or tries to move, pin her down, all these things will build her up closer to climax and then when it seems like shes on fire and cant take it anymore, give her some good strong loving

[pixelwave]

@STC Thanks man to put some things in perspective for me. 

It's just hard that I want it so bad, but she likes to skip the foreplay too fast in my opinion, and when we do likes she wants it,  I feel like it's not the same. So once we had longer foreplay and that was the time she was exactly really crazy about me... But since that one time when I build that up too long she got a little low confident and we actually stopped for a while, I felt so bad at that moment that I'm a little afraid to try the same thing that drove her once so crazy...  The practice to last longer is just by myself, I try to stop when I feel it will coming, and that actually helps me to control it.

And indeed she doesn't like it when I lick her I mean in the beginning she was okey with it, she once said in the beginning of the relationship that she didn't like it, but then we had like 6 times of sex and then and she didn't mention it anymore but now she's like I don't like that... So I don't do that anymore...  

@pluto I will try and do that again, I mean that's the best thing when you have sex... To get her crazy when you tease her, she was really begging that one time... But when I tried to do that again she was annoyed that I waited too long... 

 

[FindingPeace]

 

This might be a crazy idea but have you tried talking to her about this and asking her what might work?

You say that you have this wonderful close connection with this girl. But you are unable to be open and honest enough to talk about something like this which is clearly important to you. Communication is the key here. Communicate with her.

It isn't for anyone else to tell you how you may or may not be able to pleasure this girl. Only she can help you with that. If you can't be open about this with her, then it's only a matter of time before other issues crop up that you fail to communicate about.

Also, you are projecting this need to pleasure her. It doesn't sound as though she isn't enjoying sex. It is you that is assuming that it could be 'better' for her. Again, only she can tell you this. She might be perfectly ok with things as they are.

 

Edited December 19, 2016 by FindingPeace

[pixelwave]

@FindingPeace Thanks for the respond, I was going to do that and I know I can talk about that with her we are very open and she will probably understand.

Thanks for all the advice here!