Has anyone been to therapy before? If so, how was it?

[7thLetter]

Title says it, share your therapy experience with us 

I’m thinking of going to therapy myself for specific reasons and I’d like to hear other people’s stories.

Was it helpful? Did you go in to seek help for a specific issue you were dealing with or did you go in just for a general issue? In what way has it improved your life?

[Meditationdude]

@7thLetter I see a psychotherapist every other week to work on things that personal development and self actualization doesn’t address directly. Childhood trauma, family of origin issues, addiction and brain neurodivergence (aka ADHD). 
 

Therapy is somewhat helpful for these but nothing is as helpful as cultivating self awareness and practicing self love/acceptance. Meditate daily! And also one good psychedelic trip equals about a year of therapy in my experience. 

 

Just a heads up, therapists do not give advice. They are not going to guide you and tell you what decisions to make. You can ask their opinion but you have to ask and I find a lot of the time they answer quite vaguely.  
 

Additionally, there are very few highly conscious, unbiased and self actualized  Therapists. Most never rooted their knowledge in personal experience, but rather have a lot of experience observing others. It’s still very valuable experience but it’s not true understanding and transcendence. 
 

Honestly just follow along with Leo, (but please don’t fall into the forum rabbit hole ??) read the books on the list, do the work and you will have everything you need to transform your life. 
 

It always was… 

Edited October 16, 2021 by Meditationdude
Grammar

[Terell Kirby]

Yes - O definitely recommend it.

In fact, society should promote the use of therapy more for various emotional problems, and basic/routine wellness.

Do research on your therapist, some specialize in certain areas (mental health, family/relationships, addiction, childhood trauma, etc.).

[Ethan1]

Yeah, I just quit betterhelp today after 5 months. 

About to look for a different therapist with more a specific focus. 

Online therapy is ok. 

Personally I'd rather it be in person bc it's more investment in the process. 

You have to know what you want when going into therapy or they'll waste your money and time. 

My therapist was helpful by mirroring back. She was mostly listening the entire time. Helped me discover some issues. Yet felt like mostly self-therapy. 

Personally I wanted more depth and insights. Depth psychology seems to be my interest. Most therapists are CBT focused. It helps a bit. I don't think it gets to the root of the problem. 

I recommend doing 15 minute consultation to see if they seem right. Talk to multiple different therapists to see what seems best.

I ended up going with the first person without much thought. Switched to a different therapist few weeks later b/c the therapist seemed a bit arrogent & not open minded. 

Personally I think my 2nd therapist was overly busy with clients & got overwhelmed with me going too deep on certain topics. Typically therapists want simple clients so it's easier to handle & manage multiple clients. 

I had to quit bc I felt the therapist wasn't really putting much effort. 

Self-disclosing all of your vulnerabilities gives the therapist tremendous power & authority over you. Careful with it. 

Some therapists have big egos. Especially some that have been in it 20+ years and charge a stupid high fee. They're in it for money. It's a business model. 

We like to think all therapists are good & functional. Most people that go into the field of psychology have their fair share of issues. Some therapists have therapists to sort through their vicarious trauma from others. 

Some older therapists that have been doing it for a while tend to avoid newer types of therapy. 

I think a younger therapist usually are fresher and more willing to dive into deeper issues that are more taxing on the mind. 

Difficult clients typically are weeded out bc it's difficult & not rewarding. Therapist want to help but also are tied with a financial interest. 

I recommend watching some of this guy's videos. He gives really honest thoughts on therapy & being a therapist. 

Psychology today is a good place to look for a therapist. Look at the criteria & get very focused on the type of therapy. 

Journaling is probably the best thing I can recommend for self-therapy. 

Theres an app called 7cups where people volunteer to listen to each other. It's free chat. I'm sure that could help but it's not the same as paying a therapist who's supposed to help. 

End of the day, it's your responsibility to fix your shit. Most people will only be able to nudge you towards responsibility & self-discovery/self-awareness so much. Most people only care so much too. 

https://youtu.be/xz3rsX63epE

 

Edited October 16, 2021 by Ethan1

[PurpleTree]

Yea personally i don't think it helped me much

More than once, mostly i just talked about my life and they mostly just listened

I often thought, why does this person get that much money and go to school for a long time to just to mostly "listen"

Maybe i didn't have the right therapist, the right way of therapy or wasn't open enough to it 

[Thought Art]

Take it easy, but take it 

Yeah, I haven't found like my ideal therapist... but just being able to rant and talk to people helps. Nice to talk to someone who you don't have a relationship with. 

[Nahm]

Perhaps the greatest realization that could come from therapy is the distinction between one’s thought of what a thing is or will be like, and the actuality of the direct experience. 

[Leo Gura]

13 hours ago, Meditationdude said:

Honestly just follow along with Leo

I think therapy is a great supplement to my work. My work doesn't really replace therapy.

In fact just recently I've been thinking of hiring a therapist. There is just some stuff that I cannot effectively see by myself alone. It's good to have a human foil who can reflect your own bullshit back at you.

There are many aspects of your psyche which you do not see because you are operating from it and lack distance.

[Rilles]

Check this out I wrote a while ago.

[Arcangelo]

20 hours ago, 7thLetter said:

Was it helpful?

SUPER

HYPER

Helpful

 

[roopepa]

13 hours ago, Meditationdude said:

Honestly just follow along with Leo

This is poor advice. Leo is great, but his work alone is not suitable for serious mental health problems. I talk from direct experience.

@7thLetter I am currently working with a transpersonal therapist. Simply expressing feelings and thoughts is very helpful, especially when you do it with a therapist. It gives you new perspectives, new ideas, a better grasp on what's going on. Just find a therapist you truly resonate with.

[decentralized]

I've always felt disappointed about my therapists. I felt like that person is not actually interested in my life but simply listening to me because I'm paying him. At that moment in my life I was desperate to solve my problems and I really needed therapy but I had to quit because I felt like the core of any human connection was missing: sincerity. I don't think they actually tried to solve my problems neither, I don't remember them showing me a perspective I didn't think about before.

What really helped me and saved me from diving into the void was my spouse. They gave me the true therapy I could never achieve from thousands of hours of therapy sessions.

Edited October 16, 2021 by decentralized

[r0ckyreed]

I am current a therapist-in-training and am studying to be a therapist. I find that a lot of my clients could benefit so much more if they were dedicated to the process and implement what was discussed into their actual lives. 
 

I give my clients tasks to do but a lot of them fail to follow through. I tell them that “expecting results from coming to therapy once a week for an hour is the same as Kevin Durant expecting to win NBA championships by just going to the team practices.” It is important that people realize that therapy is much more on you than it is the therapist.  It’s about what you do between sessions. But it is important to have a therapist that supports and also challenges you to grow. 
 

I am existential therapist, which means I focus on the existential domains of an individual and how they cope with the inevitabilities of life (death, isolation, freedom, meaninglessness, and suffering). A lot of therapists don’t go deep into existential domains cause I feel like they themselves have not went that far in their own growth.

If you do not know what you want to “work on,” then it is really hard for any therapist to support you.  My way of doing therapy is that I am like a philosophical guide/companion that tries to help you to understand yourself, your strengths, and your areas of further development. Some therapists have other therapists to help them with vicarious trauma. But some therapists have not went far enough into themselves into the existential domains. I believe that we don’t truly know ourselves until we have the balls to dive deep into the ocean. But first, one must go through the kiddy pool, then adult pool, then ponds, lakes, and then oceans if I were to put that analogously. But a lot of people I work with are not ready to go to ocean, so you have to meet them where they are at and assess where they want to go with therapy.

Edited October 16, 2021 by r0ckyreed

[Thought Art]

15 hours ago, Meditationdude said:

@7thLetter Honestly just follow along with Leo, 

Lol, noooo

Use all the tools are they are to be used

[yetineti]

Therapy didn’t work for me the way I imagined.

It was nice to rant to someone but really I was just offered some basics on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and antidepressants and anti anxiety medications.

I declined to the meds.

I didn’t and don’t think I need them.

To me, ‘happy pills’ wouldn’t help what I could clearly see was just an emotion reaction to my circumstances.

I decided, ultimately, I need to get better at taking responsibility and helping myself.

Its been a slow 2-4 years since I made that decision and quite therapy but I am glad I did.

If you just have circumstances that are depressing or anxiety inducing but you're otherwise normal and aware that ‘if things were better’ ‘you’d be better’ - just work on getting things better.

Maybe consider a few sessions and blow off some steam but be cautious about falling into a perpetual therapy trap or taking medications that - IMO - most people don’t need. Most people are better off meditating, eating better, exercising, using Cognitive behavioral therapy, using self talk, etc. than they are just taking pills or exporting their thoughts to someone else (and money for that matter).

That being said IT IS VERY IMPORTANT that if the words I typed above do not resonate with you and you have a serious mental health problems, are suicidal, etc. You should certainly consider therapy and possibly medication.

I know these things are not the worst - I am just weary of them. I didn’t like how abnormal they made me feel by offering me meds and such when I knew I didn’t have anything clinical.

My parents where getting divorced, I wasn’t good at school, I was bullied, I was a bully, life’s just generally stressful as it is and I didn’t feel like that was the route for me.

Sometimes there’s shitty things happening and depression and anxiety are normal reactions.

So all in all, I hope you find what works for you.

As you may be able to tell, I’m more in favor of holistic methods rather conventional therapy or medication.

Nonetheless there’s a reason we have these things and there is no shame if you need them.

Whatever makes you better makes us better.

Edited October 17, 2021 by mw711

[tuckerwphotography]

One of the best decisions of my life. Frankly every human should probably see a therapist at some point in their lives. It's a privilege and can massively help catalyze growth and transformation on every level and dimension. Of course, not all therapists are created equal, but usually finding someone via word of mouth recommendation is a good way to go. 

[Surfingthewave]

I can't recommend therapy enough (most of the time I do). 

You need to be in right place though, as it can be hard work and will take you to those places you might not want to go. 

Some people think that the therapist is the one who'll help/save you, although they are actually supporting and guiding you to help yourself. 

My therapist was excellent, she was experienced, trusting and allowed me to be vulnerable. Feel free to change therapists though if you're not necessarily feeling it or it's not working out. 

I'm glad Leo is considering therapy. He has a lot of followers and people tend to forget forget he isn't in any way a professional. 

Edited October 17, 2021 by Surfingthewave

[Shin]

There is so many different type of therapy, that depends what you want to work on

[Shin]

14 hours ago, decentralized said:

I've always felt disappointed about my therapists. I felt like that person is not actually interested in my life but simply listening to me because I'm paying him. At that moment in my life I was desperate to solve my problems and I really needed therapy but I had to quit because I felt like the core of any human connection was missing: sincerity. I don't think they actually tried to solve my problems neither, I don't remember them showing me a perspective I didn't think about before.

What really helped me and saved me from diving into the void was my spouse. They gave me the true therapy I could never achieve from thousands of hours of therapy sessions.

Have you tried traditional CBT (not ACT or Mindful one) ?

A regular psychologist won't do much except hearing what you say, but a traditional CBT therapist will directly work with you on a specific goal.

They are generally more on your level and directly explain what might be your problem, how it is sustaining itself, what you need to do as in practical exercices in between sessions, and there is a definite goal that you set with them etc.

Don't expect all that from the first or two sessions though, they aren't magicians and still need to probe your mind a little to be relatively sure of what is your core issue.

Edited October 17, 2021 by Shin

[Leo Gura]

7 hours ago, Surfingthewave said:

and people tend to forget forget he isn't in any way a professional.

I was a professional life coach. Coached many people.

I have also hired life coaches to coach me.