5 meo dmt expirience - Life can't be taken for granted

[CuriousityIsKey]

5-meo expirience - Life is a contradiction.

Trip Report:
I just came down from my first trip, and wanted to share my experience and hear anyone’s thoughts about it. I apologize in advance if some parts are not fully comprehensive.

I came in with the mentality to learn, and not to get high. Regardless, I was absolutely terrified.

As soon as I held in the vapor, everything changed, and I was gone.

Just as the 2nd Dimension can only perceive 3D objects as layer of 2D objects, I felt as though I was on the cusp of witnessing a higher dimension, with our reality folding into itself like a layer of a higher plane of existence. At first, I was a part of our normal reality: I witnessed a person with an ice cream sandwich, believing it to be perfectly normal. I remember that at first my perception was utterly mundane (my brain associates it as the person realizing they forgot their ice cream sandwich and subsequently picking it up), resulting in a lack of empathy on my part, only to see the ice cream sandwich merge with a reality which folds out of existence (becoming a constant blob of color), causing me to realize in sheer terror that I too am not supposed to exist as I get dragged into the same point of nonexistence. I had been dragged to the edge of our reality which folded into a higher dimension. Indefinitely.

I had the overwhelming sensation that everything that existed was simply a gap to close from a higher dimension. At the border of what exists and what doesn’t, I was experiencing the constant closing of logical contradictions from the perspective of the contradiction itself.

This triggered a loop of a sentence that started with “Oh shiit, then what happens to iglfdkfgjfdl”, distorting further into the sentence as I feel as though I’m dragged once again into nonexistence, accompanied with a downward awareness of an infinite loop of contradictions in need of negation. It made me see reality as a gap in the natural order of a higher dimension (zipper reality – a plane of existence that is unzipped but is being continuously zipped up, where my consciousness and everything in my perceived reality exists in the gap between the zipper), something which exists only as the complementary empty space of a different reality. I felt that I was merely a leftover of a higher plane of existence whose ultimate and most natural end is nonexistence. Not just me, but everything in this reality felt like this gap of a higher dimensional existence. It felt as though the curtains were opened, revealing the operations of our existence as a byproduct of another. Some parts of the “zipper” communicated to me with a message along the lines of “now that you know, close the contradiction that you caused”. Words can call it sheer terror, but the feeling in that moment went far beyond that – to truly know that it is not only inevitable, but right, for you to not exist.

This experience has made me realize just how much I’m taking for granted, existing in this contradiction which is our reality. Nonexistence is the natural state of things, and everything with a semblance of order must continuously expend energy to resist it. I honestly don’t believe anything I’ll ever experience in my life will ever come close to scaring me like that; I feel like I’ve experienced something far worse than death.

Our reality is nothing but an accidental contradiction of existence, a state of utter insignificance which goes beyond words or intellectual understanding. Yet life is also a profound and terrifying miracle, and I should never take it for granted again

[CuriousityIsKey]

It is beautiful and tragic that our reality is just a contradiction that should not be existing, and we have this limited amount of time to be part of this contradiction to only for it to cease to exist?

[EntheogenTruthSeeker]

Gnarly trip report! Makes me want to watch Leo’s deathbed stage orange vids??

[inFlow]

@CuriousityIsKey Nice, thanks for sharing.

[Leo Gura]

Interesting report. It's good that you're going so deep.

However, also, be careful how you frame this notion of "non-existence". It's crucial to realize that non-existence isn't a thing from the level of Absolute Consciousness. Non-existence is a concept. Existence is Absolute, existence is all there is. Now, of course, this dream and your body and ego-mind can morph and change into whatever thing, but Consciousness itself -- what you are -- cannot cease to exist.

YOU ARE existence itself, not any particular form within existence. This is the crux of Awakening that must be grasped to yield immortality and peace.

If you are terrified by some aspect of reality that is a good sign that you have no penetrated and properly understood it yet. So be careful not to confuse your ego-mind's reactions to the 5-MeO revelations for the highest truth. It could be that your mind is twisting itself up and not seeing Truth clearly because it is afraid or resistant.

I recommend you go slower with your trips and get really honest clearing up any lingering confusions or egoic reactions.

If you are experiencing a lot of fear rather than love then that is your clue that your mind may not be properly making sense of your trips.

[failforward]

How much did you take in mg or scoops?