How to get the Love?

[Javfly33]

How do i get the Love i am chasing through chasing success, women, respect, music, experiences...?¿?

Not only its unsatisfaying, there It seems to be some challenges in survival Life which i dont end Up mastering/seems very difficult and this frustrates me therefore i Dont the get the Love. (Even if its a temporary one).

Drugs are not an option because they are also temporary love and comes with high price not worth It.

Yesterday i was meditating and i reached such a peaceful state...that would be allright to "retain It" in daily Life. What i Dont like about meditation is that the comparison with the "sober" non meditating sober Life is terrible so It frustrates you that the ego has you by the balls and creating suffering each second (It has me constantly chasing love i Dont even know ill ever get!!!!---> because its fucked Up thoughts creates neurosis , blockages, loosp, and self defeating beliefs ---> so i Dont even get the temporary love that sex or money can provide.... I HATE THE EGO)

And by the way:

Does the ego does even ever "have" the love?

Because if its not a thing, But rather a truth or state, love can not be attributed then to self esteem!

 

I Dont know, everything seems so pessimistic for me.

Edited October 13, 2021 by Javfly33

[Jakuchu]

You do realise that you are Love, right? 

The idea that the ego has you by the balls is the ego having you by the balls 

Edited October 13, 2021 by Jakuchu

[Breakingthewall]

You will have it when you stop needing to get it and need to give it. If you need to get it you're a beggar and you only get shit

[Gregory1]

Psychedelics

[Nahm]

4 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

I Dont know, everything seems so pessimistic for me.

Ever experience boredom too, even though you have the energy, the desire, the wants?  Do you ever end up overwhelmed… frustrated, impatient?

[WelcometoReality]

8 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

It frustrates you that the ego has you by the balls and creating suffering each second (It has me constantly chasing love i Dont even know ill ever get!!!!

If the ego is making you chase love then what is this "me" that is chasing love?

8 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

And by the way:

Does the ego does even ever "have" the love?

Because if its not a thing, But rather a truth or state, love can not be attributed then to self esteem!

Yes, love is unconditional so it's not a state and not an attribute of the ego. 

8 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

I Dont know, everything seems so pessimistic for me.

Now is all there is. If pessimism comes up then see what the underlying feelings are and let go of them. Those feelings are the only things that hides the love that is underneath them.

[VeganAwake]

Its not something to find because its already everything ❤

[Ry4n]

9 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

I HATE THE EGO

It can seriously suck, but God itself infinitely loves this ego that hating it would go against it and only aggravate it more, like pushing a beach ball under water only to have it slap you harder because of the force of the resistance. Love the ego first, then everything becomes easier. Everything you could ever need or want in life is already 100% within yourself, you are secure and complete inside now and forever. (Seriously)

Getting to this mindset however is ridiculously hard but it IS possible, but it takes a lot of sacrifice, swallowing one’s pride, letting go of strong beliefs and having courage and straight up faith. That everything will be ok in the end, and if it’s not ok then it’s not the end. We are all just walking each other home as some wise dude said I think it was Ram Dass lol ?. 

[Javfly33]

18 hours ago, Nahm said:

Ever experience boredom too, even though you have the energy, the desire, the wants?  Do you ever end up overwhelmed… frustrated, impatient?

Yes, thats exactly the energies i am vibrating recently...

Also i am angry with the ego because of the loop of "anxiety then evasion then frustration" (because of havent done anything because of anxiety/overwhelmed). Both things are created by the ego. Ego is stupid AF.

However i keep meditating and repeating myself to not fall into thought stories. I do not know Who Will win at the end of this Battle, But i am fighting It. 

 

Edited October 14, 2021 by Javfly33

[Gregory1]

23 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

I HATE THE EGO

@Javfly33

That "I" that hates "the ego", what do you think that "I" is?

It is your ego, indeed.

Nothing is wrong with ego. Ego is a beautiful thing. Learn to love it and grow it into something that feels good.

If you want to trancsend it you should really consider psychedelics. They are not all illegal, not that hard to get and they can transform you massively. 

At least be open minded to them, read the book "The Psychedelic Explorer's Guide." This book will clearly show you how psychedelics might be a way out of your misery. People with severe depression have been helped LONG TERM just by ONE psychedelic session.  

Edited October 14, 2021 by Gregory1

[Javfly33]

@Gregory1 Psychedelics have been useful for breakthroughs But Im kind of tired of them. They feel like a distraction from real work 

 

[Nahm]

@Javfly33

Does this often leave you experiencing emotions like disappointment and overwhelment?

 

[BipolarGrowth]

I loved to lay in bed and listen to this Tao Te Ching audiobook when I had issues with doership and the ego. 

 

[Javfly33]

@Nahm yeah. Any advice in how to "respond" to that emotions?

[Nahm]

4 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

@Nahm yeah. Any advice in how to "respond" to that emotions?

Can you feel contentment right now?  Letting past and future go, letting conditions held as to how anything needs to be different for you to feel contentment go, just for this moment?

Emotion doesn’t need a response per se, it is the response. 

[The0Self]

On 10/13/2021 at 3:48 PM, Javfly33 said:

love can not be attributed then to self esteem

Sure can’t. And self hate and self esteem are not two, as self x and self y are not two.

On 10/13/2021 at 3:48 PM, Javfly33 said:

I Dont know, everything seems so pessimistic for me.

It is hopeless, utterly. But it is also awesome, utterly.

[Javfly33]

On 15/10/2021 at 10:49 PM, Nahm said:

Can you feel contentment right now?  

@Nahm its difficult because theres still a self in the Now because thoughts keep arising if Im not watchful 

 

Letting past and future go, letting conditions held as to how anything needs to be different for you to feel contentment go, just for this moment?

.

Its difficult because self/self story its constructed as a reaction to the Now.  

 Emotion doesn’t need a response per se, it is the response

 

Interesting, and why emotions responds? And to What? To thoughts? 

 

[Zeroguy]

@Javfly33 You are Love, Infinite Love. 

Awareness. 

Sorry harvesters. 

[Nahm]

52 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

its difficult because theres still a self in the Now because thoughts keep arising if Im not watchful

Ok, if that is the experience, can you let go of any conditions that something else needs to be happening, that this needs to change, for you to feel contentment? 

If not, what emotion are you experiencing when these thoughts arise?

 

[PepperBlossoms]

To get "the love", one has to know what "the love" is.

Consciousness is love.  In non-duality terms, everything is one so consciousness is love but it is also hate and also neutral.  But yet there is a net positive of love rather than it being neutral because hate is what one is doing to love oneself - hate is a subset of love and when hate/neutral do not work, we find more holistic things, greater and greater forms of love via systems.

We are the universe trying to do the most loving thing we can and know.

We love ourselves - do what ourself wants so it is happy, peaceful; do what we can so that others too are happy and peaceful because when they are happy, so are we.  

We become so conscious of how we are impacting others and how everything is connected and one that we cannot not do xyz because that is too hurtful to us and others.  We become more conscious of how we are creating our own pain and joy and work to stop the pain and grow the joy - for not just the human self but for the infinite self (and for future selves).

We want to make a difference on a more macro, universe level rather than micro level - what is going to do the most good for the most of the universe? What is systemically going to make the most difference?

However, the pain of the universe that we worked on and got destroyed may be hard but we will keep on doing loving things anyway to keep on making it as good as possible for everyone.

Love may require tolerating some things we disagree with; or if we see that it is creating lots of problems and become conscious of that, we do what we can to fix it.

One thing I am struggling with is the nihilism of - who cares if we go towards love or not, why bother; and the question of, are we fooling ourselves that we even have to bother moving towards love.  Is it more loving for instance to try to talk one's Christian friends' out of their beliefs in the man in the clouds?  Or is it more loving to just leave it and try to combat other things?  I guess it will depend on what one sees as the most worthwhile thing to assist with and what they feel would be the most worthwhile thing to focus on.

Does the universe really love/care or is it just that stuff works more harmoniously when harmony is the goal and hence it is a mere accident?

The universe is forever - there is nothing to save as the universe isn't going anywhere and can get transformed infinitely over and over again... but I guess to enjoy the ride and appreciate and "love" life, we do go ahead and try to make life better.

@Javfly33 The finite ego self "gets the love" when it sees that it looks bad when it does anything other than love - it wants to look good and feel good - which is why you are asking the question in the first place because your ego wants to know how to find love.  It sees that killing/stealing/cheating/excessive speeding would make it look bad and it has too much pride so it won't do that (stage red spiral dynamics),  or being too strict with rules would make it look bad so it doesn't do that either (stage blue), it sees that being too greedy with money makes it look bad too (stage orange), it sees that being too strict on social justice makes it look annoying and inconsiderate (stage green), it sees that the models it has come up with don't make sense when looking at all these other perspectives (stage yellow), and then it sees that everything is imagined and enjoys deconstructing reality and moving towards being more loving - the ego loves that.  The ego is constantly re-defining what rules it is allowing for itself so as to get to experience being the most egoic - which being loving is something that makes the ego look good and hence it feels super awesome and egoic about.  Hence selfishness leads to love...

Edited October 16, 2021 by PepperBlossoms