Moving past this silly men vs women war

[Spiral]

The whole struggle of which gender is more terrible and oppressive seems to me to only be escalating. Making the life’s of everyone involved worse. Victim mentally runs rampant on both sides.

In more metamodern(aka strange yellow) circles I’ve seen that this isn’t really a problem.

How do we move past this here on the forum and have a positive effect in society as a whole?

P.S No gender complaints please!

Edited October 12, 2021 by Spiral

[SamC]

I honestly think that the way to heal It is counterintuitively to let it happen but let it happen consciously.

We need more awarness of what is causing it/ the dynamic so that we more easily can observe ourselves when we do it and therefor also slowly heal.

Awarness alone is curative.

Edited October 12, 2021 by SamC

[Jacob Morres]

maybe we need to use systems thinking to observe this phenomena 

[Random witch]

46 minutes ago, SamC said:

I honestly think that the way to heal It is counterintuitively to let it happen but let it happen consciously.

We need more awarness of what is causing it/ the dynamic so that we more easily can observe ourselves when we do it and therefor also slowly heal.

Awarness alone is curative.

I agree, you can't sweep things under the rug and expect everything to be fine.

If you really want to heal you have to flood things up.

If this forum was too sweet without "wars", that would be a real problem.

[Etherial Cat]

It's seems to be a war at play into the human psyche. As we say, as above, so below. As within, so without. It will keep going for a while until a critical mass has integrated both its masculine and feminine side.

In psychology, it is well known that someone's problematic relationship with a parent will rule its life if not healed. And while people think it only influences your relationship with woman/men, it actually shapes your relationship with the archetypical masculine/feminine in everyday life. Though, I have to add that family is not the only source that shapes your conception of the feminine/masculine. Society as a whole will add up and create an image which will define your relationship to it.

We project outward the relationship we have with our conception of what femininity/masculinity should be.  And when it is not conform to our expectations, it creates a clash. The ego tries to turn reality in its own overlay. There seems to be really a lot of distortion.

Now, I'll say one thing. The archetypical masculine is the common language. Society values its perspective and values much more than the feminine one. There are thus much more negative bias and distortion to the female perspective and value than the other way around.

That say, a lot of women have blind spot too towards the male experience.

The solution to all this problems thus is reintegration. If you don't understand the other gender's POV, it means you are disconnected from the essential part of yourself capable of the polar opposite archetypical behavior.

 

[SamC]

16 minutes ago, Random witch said:

I agree, you can't sweep things under the rug and expect everything to be fine.

If you really want to heal you have to flood things up.

If this forum was too sweet without "wars", that would be a real problem.

yeah! It's a very heavy task though because it means that both parties must be willing to observe their own patterns and therefor also as a consequence of that understand the other point of view and how they are biased, and be humble enough to be honest to oneself about it.

Furthermore I belive it is important to turn this humbleness either outwards or inwards depending on our style of trying to hold onto our identity. Some people are super skeptical about if other people are right ( and belive they are right)  while others are skeptical about if they themselves are right ( belive that everyone else is right)  which basically is the same thing but different manifestations of it.

So if we want to move past this, I think we need to become aware of where we tend to lean towards and either turn our skepticism towards our skepticism of other people or towards our skepticism about ourselves.

Edited October 12, 2021 by SamC

[Chew211]

Let it play out. More material to analyze. 

[zazen]

The battle of the sexes is the only war where crushing the opposition isn’t victory. We need to understand each other better. Teal swan is pretty good in this regard.

 

 

[Spiral]

I do also think that people take offense to critical observations on a gender as a attack on themselves. Most people have a relatively strong gender identity. 

So if someone is critical of men for doing x, other men get offended needlessly and try to justify themselves even if they don’t do x. This obviously doesn’t help the situation and leads to needless bickering.

So careful wording criticism of the opposite gender definitely help. Saying most men do x is naturally better for the sake of preventing needless bickering. 

In addition people tend to assume their opposition is a way more homogeneous group than it is. Feminists, anti-feminist, red pill guys and incels are all groups of people with all sorts of subgroups. Some of which you probably don’t have much against. Yet people tend to assume all feminists for instance are all the same. Which definitely isn’t true.

[Spiral]

Although we are going thru a paradigm shift so it’s bound to be messy, bloody and terrible. Harm reduction is something we should try to aim for.

[Random witch]

@Spiral You've been very toxic in my tread, this is funny how you try to be so right and spiritual while toxicity fluids from you like a water. 

Don't try to spend your time on educating the whole forum, look into yourself.

[Jacob Morres]

@Spiral

i really appreciate that at least it's coming into awareness 

i think also Leo needs to take some responsibility here 

 

 

Edited October 12, 2021 by Jacob Morres

[hyruga]

14 hours ago, Spiral said:

The whole struggle of which gender is more terrible and oppressive seems to me to only be escalating. Making the life’s of everyone involved worse. Victim mentally runs rampant on both sides.

In more metamodern(aka strange yellow) circles I’ve seen that this isn’t really a problem.

How do we move past this here on the forum and have a positive effect in society as a whole?

P.S No gender complaints please!

Raise your awareness and don't engage in petty stuff.

Read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.

Move this thread to Meditation, Consciousness, Enlightenment, Spirituality forum so you don't get into men vs women input and instead get more input on raising your consciousness.

[Leo Gura]

Most people struggle a lot with dating and relationships so it turns into a survival contest and blaming the other side.

Few people actually want to take ownership of mastering this domain of their life. Which leaves only one thing: blaming and fighting. Either you're going to handle it, or you're going to become bitter and jaded.

[LastThursday]

What war? 

It's more like lack of social skills, lack of empathy, lack of emotional intelligence, projection and self-righteousness. But none of us are immune, if you've mastered relationships you won't be on this dating forum.

In any case, people come and go on here, the nature of the forum will drift over time.

[Nahm]

On 10/12/2021 at 5:25 AM, Spiral said:

The whole struggle of which gender is more terrible and oppressive seems to me to only be escalating. Making the life’s of everyone involved worse. Victim mentally runs rampant on both sides.

In more metamodern(aka strange yellow) circles I’ve seen that this isn’t really a problem.

How do we move past this here on the forum and have a positive effect in society as a whole?

P.S No gender complaints please!

Amen. 

[Spiral]

19 hours ago, Random witch said:

@Spiral You've been very toxic in my tread, this is funny how you try to be so right and spiritual while toxicity fluids from you like a water. 

Glad I can offer some extra joy to your life 

On a serious note, I'm sorry you perceived me as antagonistic/toxic, that was not my intention.

Edited October 13, 2021 by Spiral

[diamondpenguin]

@Leo Gura Fine fine, I'll go read some books about. Maybe that'll fix my bipolar. 

[funcool]

The tension between males and females has become a societal problem now. Sure, individuals can take ownership and solve their problems brute force but not everyone is going to do so.

I wouldn't be surprised if prostitution becomes legalized at this point. The west is becoming more like japan in terms of sexual relations between males and females. There are more females attending college than males now and the average 20 year old female has more sexual and relationship experience than an average 20 year old male. Guys that are lower status don't want to be considered "creepy" so they just isolate themselves with games and other online vices and just push themselves further away from even being able to get laid or get a relationship. Then they get sucked into toxic online communities and find a sense of belonging cuz they felt like they were casted out of normal society and then you get the incel, mgtow, redpill problem.

 If the government wants to stop the problem from further progressing for guys under 20 they'd probably have to ban gaming like china did and teach mandatory looksmaxing classes at school. Get them in top physical shape, reach low body fat%, get thick neck muscles and strong jawline, how to dress well, smell nice, and how to use game to get girls.

You can't really ask women to lower their standards, it will never happen. The only thing that has happened is the difficulty level has gone from normal to ultra-nightmare for guys and guys gotta play life like they play their games.

[TripleFly]

I don't think it's silly at all. There's a big problem in the world and it's not going to be solved. The only thing we can do is be responsible and live as truthfully as we can ourselves. A man of truth will attract a woman of love in due time, it's as simple as the teacher will appear when the student is ready. The mind will downplay this statement because it's too simple.