Is it possible to do pickup without hurting women’s feelings?

[Shin]

3 hours ago, AriSujan said:

@Leo Gura How come it harm those women...it helps them to earn a living, I guess!

Yeah cause every customer will want a nice and slow vagina penetration lol

You underestimate how disgustig sex can be for women if they aren't aroused, and having to do all kind of disgusting things with losers isn't gonna arouse them that's for sure.

[Leo Gura]

Most girls doing sex work are gonna be very psychologically damaged. You have to be psychologically unwell to be attracted to that kind of work. People in sex work often have a history of unresolved trauma. Or they simply have no other way of making money so they are forced into it to survive.

[Hardkill]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Most girls doing sex work are gonna be very psychologically damaged. You have to be psychologically unwell to be attracted to that kind of work. People in sex work often have a history of unresolved trauma. Or they simply have no other way of making money so they are forced into it to survive.

If prostitutes and escorts care are so deeply concerned about their own survival then why do they actually have sex with tons of random male strangers, including many who are very scary? After all, when it comes to dating, women reject men who come off creepy or threatening in any kind of way.

Edited October 16, 2021 by Hardkill

[something_else]

43 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

If prostitutes and escorts care are so deeply concerned about their own survival then why do they actually have sex with tons of random male strangers, including many who are very scary? After all, when it comes to dating, women reject men who come off creepy or threatening in any kind of way.

Because the alternative is starving to death?

[Leo Gura]

@Hardkill Dude, I can make you a prostitute by putting a gun to your child's head and telling you to suck my dick.

Go find some YT videos of prostitutes talking about their miserable lives.

[mandyjw]

7 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Just ask yourself, Would you want your daughter doing sex work?

There's your answer.

That's still a patriarchal framework of reasoning, which actually creates the shame and fear which creates the situations where there is demand for sex workers.  

Google Alice Little. She's a legal sex worker and educator. She's very open and nerdy about sex. 

[TripleFly]

10 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Prostition is not high integrity. It harms those women more than any kind of pickup or ONS.

If you seek to develop sexual mastery, and your intent is not on your own pleasure but growth. Then you must confront the beast within, as women(and men) for centuries used prostitution to weaken man's volatile violent beast.

I don't know if Prostitution is a fair trade for women, but it exhausts man's sexual beast, without which he is a bit less threatening to the children of earth this is the deal I believe woman agreed to.

These are the tools we have. 

[Leo Gura]

2 minutes ago, TripleFly said:

If you seek to develop sexual mastery, and your intent is not on your own pleasure but growth. Then you must confront the beast within, as women(and men) for centuries used prostitution to weaken man's volatile violent beast.

I don't know if Prostitution is a fair trade for women, but it exhausts man's sexual beast, without which he is a bit less threatening to the children of earth this is the deal I believe woman agreed to.

These are the tools we have. 

That doesn't make it any healthier for the prostitutes. And it's not really healthy for the guys either.

[TripleFly]

23 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

That doesn't make it any healthier for the prostitutes. And it's not really healthy for the guys either.

I don't understand.

He asked how to do pick up without hurting a woman's feelings. Prostitution is the honest way to improve(somewhat) your skills in bed, (except having a partner ofc). Do you mean to tell me the choice these women are making is not theirs to make? It's woman's choice so to dampen men's sex, so he doesn't go after the children. I cannot imagine the hell this world would become without woman's sacrifice.

An honest man(if he exists) wouldn't go to prostitutes' over and over, at some point he will know that he had enough. When there's not enough for him to learn from that experience. If he still does it then it is just unconsciousness. Otherwise what hope does this man have?

[Nahm]

On 10/11/2021 at 9:33 PM, Bob Seeker said:

Is it possible to do pickup without hurting women’s feelings?

Contingent on what “pick up” means to you. It’s connotational. Imo, drop the term altogether. Objects can be picked up. Maybe you seek an object, maybe you seek more. 

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As far as I know, women are typically looking for a relationship, not a one night stand. True?

There is no such thing as “the true thought”. If you want to know what a woman is seeking, simply ask. Conversationally of course, for the fun of the experience, not point blank. Consider, are you looking for a relationship or just sex. You are experiencing what you’re looking for in all cases. 

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Does the man have to sort of cheat the woman and trick her into thinking he really likes her only to demonstrate otherwise after he sleeps with her?

Do you enjoy being deceived? If you are to be influenced, raise the bar in terms of what / who resonates. 

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is there a way this works where both parties win?

Imo, let the “win” perspective go and abide in good conscience. Having sex isn’t “winning”. 

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wouldn’t the man making himself high value only make her want a relationship more?

It could, but it’s very short term. Inevitably said man realizes value is a facade and self referential thought deludes. 

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If you were to be honest about just wanting to sleep with her, is that not a turn-off to her?

Talk to her. Find out. She’s like you. Sometimes wants wild and crazy monkey sex. Sometimes what’s a hug. Sometimes wants to talk. Etc. Go about it lightly, with no need whatsoever for sex. If that’s difficult, be aware of reaction to thoughts, by relaxing and witnessing the reaction, without reacting. Freely explore not attempting to feel better by fulfilling impulses. 

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I am a pretty harmless person. I don’t kill bugs. It wouldn’t be easy for me to do pickup with confidence because of this.

It’d be easier, effortless, imo, to just drop the lens of “pick up” altogether. If the lens of objectivity is employed, then indeed the need for confidence arises. But if there is no con employed, there is no con employed. 

[Leo Gura]

46 minutes ago, TripleFly said:

He asked how to do pick up without hurting a woman's feelings. Prostitution is the honest way to improve(somewhat) your skills in bed,

Using prostitutes will not improve your skills at sex or with attracting girls.

Prostitution damages girls more than pickup, that's for sure.

You seriously haven't thought about how damaging prostitution is to the prostitutes. It fucks them up for life.

[TripleFly]

28 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Using prostitutes will not improve your skills at sex or with attracting girls.

Prostitution damages girls more than pickup, that's for sure.

You seriously haven't thought about how damaging prostitution is to the prostitutes. It fucks them up for life.

You're right, it's a horrible situation, and I can't believe my words to suggest men to go to prostitutes'. This cannot be of high integrity.

But this is the world as I see it currently today, it still happens... I guess it boils down to- there's no free sex. If you're not paying for it, then she it. and vice versa.

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sI73CQtDqKQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2_g_zcuE4c

 

[LordFall]

On 10/16/2021 at 8:53 AM, TripleFly said:

If you seek to develop sexual mastery, and your intent is not on your own pleasure but growth. Then you must confront the beast within, as women(and men) for centuries used prostitution to weaken man's volatile violent beast.

I don't know if Prostitution is a fair trade for women, but it exhausts man's sexual beast, without which he is a bit less threatening to the children of earth this is the deal I believe woman agreed to.

These are the tools we have. 

Can you elaborate on this, it's an interesting point of view. 

 

Reminds me of Jennifer Moleski's idea that women fuck the war out of men as a way to pacify them. 

[Hardkill]

On 10/16/2021 at 4:11 AM, Leo Gura said:

@Hardkill Dude, I can make you a prostitute by putting a gun to your child's head and telling you to suck my dick.

Go find some YT videos of prostitutes talking about their miserable lives.

So, most prostitutes, most escorts, most pornstars, etc. are doing some kind of sex work because they really feel that they have absolutely no other choice? 

[Lyubov]

It's not possible to be in relationships of any kind without occasionally hurting another person's feelings. Romantic ones take this conundrum to a whole other level the deeper you fall in love and the more you become intertwined. Confronting the fact you can/may/will hurt your woman or break her heart is a very valuable lesson in life. Even if it is totally unintentional and without any sort of malice or resentful intentions. Simply falling out of love with a person or recognizing the barriers you are putting up and how they affect the relationship and hurt the other person's feelings. 

[Harlen Kelly]

On 10/16/2021 at 10:19 AM, Leo Gura said:

Using prostitutes will not improve your skills at sex or with attracting girls.

Prostitution damages girls more than pickup, that's for sure.

You seriously haven't thought about how damaging prostitution is to the prostitutes. It fucks them up for life.

What actual scientific, scrutinized, researched data suggests is the following: 

1 - Sarah Romans, MD, et al., in the Feb. 2011 Australian and New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry article “The Mental and Physical Health of Female Sex Workers: A Comparative Study,” wrote:

“There were no differences in mental health… or in self-esteem… between the two groups [female prostitutes and females who weren’t prostitutes]…

Overall, despite any personal problems arising from the particular nature of their work, these women described as adequate relationships with partners, friends and work colleagues. Two papers have suggested that sex workers have high rates of psychological symptoms; however, both used convenience samples and lacked a comparison group making interpretation of the results difficult. Our results challenge prevailing ideas that sex work and psychiatric morbidity are inevitably associated.”

2 - Ine Vanwesenbeeck, PhD, Manager of Research at Rutgers Nisso Group, Dutch Expert Centre on Sexuality, in the Dec. 2005 Archives of Sexual Behavior article “Burnout Among Female Indoor Sex Workers,” wrote:

“This study provided evidence that female indoor sex workers in the Netherlands do not exhibit a higher level of work-related emotional exhaustion or a lower level of work-related personal competence than a comparison group of female health care workers (mostly nurses)…

The fact that findings were partly contrary to expectations and contrary to suggestions from others that sex work is intrinsically traumatizing may be explained by sample differences. Here, indoor sex workers were studied, whereas many other studies focus almost exclusively on street workers.”

Your stance is not based on scientifically scrutinized data. This is not an argument for using prostitutes by the way, it's an argument for being factual when presenting information. 

Edited October 27, 2021 by Harlen Kelly

[Leo Gura]

@Harlen Kelly Sorry, but I don't buy your "science".

[Harlen Kelly]

@Leo Gura I don't by your ''trust me bro even though I don't have any conclusive evidence'' stance. 

[Leo Gura]

@Harlen Kelly You can test your theory by marrying a prostitute. Let us know how that works out for ya.