Is my ego getting weaker?

[Hugo Oliveira]

This is the second time I have this idea. I'm doing meditation, inquiry, and yoga daily for a while. However, I don't feel completely devoted and able to completely surrender.

 I have many aspects of my life that I want to improve, desires, and so on.

But I'm seeing myself having a hard time manipulating my reality, making decisions about my life, and establishing control. It is like if there were a conflict between my will and the flow of life. 

Could it be a result of spiritual work? I'm suffering a lot. Should I pause it in order to fix basic shit first?