I build a lot of sexual tension and trust but she leaves

[diamondpenguin]

On 10/11/2021 at 7:41 AM, Leo Gura said:

That's horrible. Don't ever use the phrase "just friends". Keep the sexual polarity / intent. If she doesn't want it, let her reject you on account of it. But don't make yourself her gay lapdog. It needs to be implicitly clear that you have sexual intent towards her, that you are not her gay friend. Don't compromise on that.

And way too formal too. This is not a business transaction.

"Hey gurl, let's hang out."

On 10/11/2021 at 7:41 AM, Leo Gura said:

That's horrible. Don't ever use the phrase "just friends". Keep the sexual polarity / intent. If she doesn't want it, let her reject you on account of it. But don't make yourself her gay lapdog. It needs to be implicitly clear that you have sexual intent towards her, that you are not her gay friend. Don't compromise on that.

And way too formal too. This is not a business transaction.

"Hey gurl, let's hang out."

@Leo Gura What the fuck do you mean gay lapdog? This is exactly why don't hangout with people except my best friend, because nobody got no respect. People are disrespectful as fuck. 

[knakoo]

On 11/10/2021 at 11:44 AM, Leo Gura said:

If you sense that she doesn't want you, you have to be willing to let her go. And then frame it to yourself as, "Oh well, she lost a great guy. She couldn't appreciate what I was offering therefore she didn't really deserve what I was offering."

@Vrubel When you don't get what you want or get rejected, this is a great opportunity to release attachement. For instance you may have an attachment to being an attractive man. When you get rejected, this part of you feels threatened and it is in part why it bums you out. But realise that as long as you have this attachment, you will never be free ! And life will continue to bring up situations that challenge that part of you.  

From my perspective what Leo is describing is just a way to reinforce the ego to maintain your confidence. Maybe it is good advice for some people, but consider an alternative :

Simply observe how it feels in your body when you get rejected, then fully accept and embrace what you observe. Love it even if you can. Then you may have some kind of a release or you will simply feel lighter, as a result of shedding a part of your ego. When you do that over an over again it is powerful. You don't really get more "confident" with that process, but you become more conscious, free from outcome and insecurities. 

More generally, any suffering that you experience is a gift if you can embrace it.

Consider the following : if you have an attachment to a particular interaction going well, what is the better outcome ? Getting exactly what you want or getting rejected ?