How To Respond?

[Jhonny]

How to respond to someone who attacks me over my weakness(let's say i am currently unemployed). I have found that when i respond to them with a big egoic attack on them, they get quite and feel that they too have somethings missing. I know that is not a way of a self actualizing person. What will you do or suggest?

[Christian]

Say think you for the sincerity and get out of the situation, i.e leave. You want to be with people who lift you up. But if it is someone important to you, tell them how you feel and set boundaries going forward.  No need to attack them. 

[vizual]

If you have big insecurities you are always going to attract people and situations that will try to poke at those insecurities. In stead of trying to avoid those situations and resist them by lashing out, it's more effective if you deal with your demons. If you are insecure about being unemployed that is your own projection about your current situation, objectively it doesn't make you any less valuable than any other human being. There of plenty of people who don't give a fuck if they are out of a job for a while, they would just laugh if someone tried to bust their balls about unemployment.

Don't just lazily accept that your insecurities are part of your personality or something, that is what victims do. You are only a victim if you want to be one. Your insecurities is life's way of telling you, hey your perspective on reality is off here. 

[Leo Gura]

@Jhonny Honestly communicating what you feel in that situation is usually an excellent strategy.

Note: honestly communicating what you feel is VERY different from an emotional outburst.

And if they continue being aggressive, you can just leave.

[FindingPeace]

7 hours ago, Jhonny said:

How to respond to someone who attacks me over my weakness(let's say i am currently unemployed

Noone is 'attacking' you. You are perceiving their actions as an attack because, fundamentally, it is you that is insecure about something - whether that's being unemployed or whatever. You feel you have weaknesses and as such are sensitive to them. People aren't attacking you, it is you that is attacking you.

2 hours ago, vizual said:

If you are insecure about being unemployed that is your own projection about your current situation,

Exactly this.

So become more accepting of your own 'insecurities', and more confident about holding them. Doing this will actually stop these things being weaknesses or insecurities. It's only you that is projecting that label on to them. If you think it is other peope, think again. In order for you to be offended by what others think or say, you are fundamentally believing them, or they are just confirming something you believe about yourself.

It doesn't matter what others think or say. Or what they believe about you. What matters is what you think about you. Correct that, and you will find that you will no longer be triggered by the thoughts and actions of others.