Bad habits

[darrellaydinbahy]

I really need help. I really need help breaking out from this cycle, it's really holding me back.

I keep falling and falling into my bad habits and addiction, it fucked me really hard, i can't stand it anymore, i don't want to give up but i just don't understand it anymore. I really need help i can't talk to anyone especially my parents and my friends because i've been asking them for help over and over again but i never change i keep falling specifically into the same problem again.

All of those hard work will ended up waste

Those running and push ups, shit i end up binge eating again

Those books and knowledge that i read, gone because i keep melting up my neurons in my brain by watching porn and masturbate 3 times in a day

and others stupid zombie-like activities
i keep hating my self everyday, saying shit to myself, torturing myself and feeling suicidal.
But in the end, time will just keep ticking...

Shit! everytime i started being productive i even already expect that i will fall into this period again!

It's been 3 years since i started personal development and i still have a long journey to come

but how do i stop this?
how to be consistent with being productive and happy?
how do i stick with my good habits? 

[darrellaydinbahy]

I feel like this is the one major thing that really holding me back

If i can just be stick with my good and productive habit

I feel super frustrated and lost, it look very simple but yet i keep falling into this problem

I don't understand it anymore, i hope someone in this forum can give some powerful advice and insight. 

 

 

 

[Terell Kirby]

You gotta start slow. Trying to change too many things about yourself at once will backfire on you in a nasty way (ego backlash).

Start by making VERY small changes. If you eat like shit 7 days a week, try 6 instead. This is just one example of building momentum.

Also know that you will screw up your progress here and there. You need to be able to screw up, learn from it and move on. Beating yourself up is only a mechanism to stay the same and not change.

Self compassion is important as well. Read: Self Compassion by Kristin Neff 

[darrellaydinbahy]

Thanks, terell for replying to my post
I will take that seriously and start implying it to myself

[Rob06]

One of your worst habits seems to be your self hate. Why are you being so hard on yourself? Be compassionate to the part of yourself that fucks up.

I know the frustration of falling back into bad habits. I've been at this work for nearly a decade, and still have bad habits. I fall back sometimes. You've been at this for three years. Think about all the things you've learned in that time. Everytime you fall back into a bad habit, it will get easier to pull yourself out of that hole.

The knowledge you gain from books won't melt away by jerking off 3 times a day, unless your sperm is really intelligent  .

Take it easy. One babystep at a time. Than one big step back again. Than a couple of baby steps forward.