What's the key to overcoming addiction?

[Someone here]

Whether it's drugs.. Food.. Smoking.. Video games or anything else.. 

What's the one key point that one should understand and apply to quit addiction? 

Of course by one point won't be enough.. Quitting addiction is a complicated process and takes multiple steps.. Time and effort etc. But I'm not interested in detailed discussion here.   If you can summarize it all in just one key piece of insight to quit any addiction.. What would it be? 

[BlackMaze]

Finding an alternative. 

[PurpleTree]

if you really want to overcome then that's the first step

if you're just saying you want to overcome it but actually you don't, or most parts of you don't

then obviously you'll never overcome it

 

and then find meaning in life without said "thing"

[Someone here]

53 minutes ago, PurpleTree said:

if you really want to overcome then that's the first step

if you're just saying you want to overcome it but actually you don't, or most parts of you don't

then obviously you'll never overcome it. 

Yes. I find myself split up. Part of me wants to quit and other parts want to keep doing this. I'm confused. 

[Someone here]

2 hours ago, BlackMaze said:

Finding an alternative. 

What do you mean? Like replacing one addiction with another one? 

[Windappreciator]

Quitting your psych-meds?

[Guest EmptyVase]

Impermanence.

[Someone here]

13 minutes ago, Windappreciator said:

Quitting your psych-meds?

No. Smoking. 

[Frenk]

The only way that worked for me was quitting cold turkey. Anything else was just playing games

[SonataAllegro]

Addiction to anything is caused by a low state of consciousness. There is always a negative self image behind it. The problem is not with the substance or activity itself, and you must make sure not to demonize whatever you're addicted to, since that just causes more negativity.

The real problem is in that you've trained yourself to respond to the question "should I engage in this behavior" with "it can't hurt this once" or "fuck it, I deserve to relax" or "I have nothing better to live for " or "if I say no to it, I'm moralizing, and that's bad" (irony intended). You can put an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other and exercise "self control", but if you're conscious enough, you'll realize this can't work. The reason you can't stop the addiction is because you love the experience it gives you, but want to escape from your constant self-judgement and guilt for having this addiction.

The only permanent solution is patience and mindful engagement. Mostly patience. You will not overcome these habits as quickly as you think, and the more you expect yourself to do it easily, the harder it will be. Mindfully engage with the activity/substance and notice how it feels. Ask yourself:

Can I tune into the feeling of joy/satisfaction this gives me?

Can I observe, without judging, the moralizing that goes on when I do this? 

Can I understand how all my addictions are related and how they all stem from a central feeling of lack?

Is there a time during the day that I tend to seek this out and other times where I'm feeling fuller?

Why do I feel i need to quit this? Is it cause I want to be the best? Is it cause I believe I can't have happiness as long as I'm addicted? Why do I believe this?

What might mindful and responsible use of this thing be?

Have the utmost patience and self-compassion. Overcoming addiction of any kind is HARD and we guilt ourselves so much because we think it should be easy.

 

[The0Self]

The choice-less revelation that the longing for the object is actually the longing to never need it again.

This is wonderful advice:

Quote

Addiction to anything is caused by a low state of consciousness. There is always a negative self image behind it. The problem is not with the substance or activity itself, and you must make sure not to demonize whatever you're addicted to, since that just causes more negativity.

The real problem is in that you've trained yourself to respond to the question "should I engage in this behavior" with "it can't hurt this once" or "fuck it, I deserve to relax" or "I have nothing better to live for " or "if I say no to it, I'm moralizing, and that's bad" (irony intended). You can put an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other and exercise "self control", but if you're conscious enough, you'll realize this can't work. The reason you can't stop the addiction is because you love the experience it gives you, but want to escape from your constant self-judgement and guilt for having this addiction.

The only permanent solution is patience and mindful engagement. Mostly patience. You will not overcome these habits as quickly as you think, and the more you expect yourself to do it easily, the harder it will be. Mindfully engage with the activity/substance and notice how it feels. Ask yourself:

Can I tune into the feeling of joy/satisfaction this gives me?

Can I observe, without judging, the moralizing that goes on when I do this? 

Can I understand how all my addictions are related and how they all stem from a central feeling of lack?

Is there a time during the day that I tend to seek this out and other times where I'm feeling fuller?

Why do I feel i need to quit this? Is it cause I want to be the best? Is it cause I believe I can't have happiness as long as I'm addicted? Why do I believe this?

What might mindful and responsible use of this thing be?

Have the utmost patience and self-compassion. Overcoming addiction of any kind is HARD and we guilt ourselves so much because we think it should be easy.

 

Edited October 8, 2021 by The0Self

[Terell Kirby]

For me, it's understanding the why instead of the what.

Simply abstaining by force will lead to constant relapse, and more evidence for you to be less and less loving to yourself.

One has to get a the motivations...9/10 it will be because there is love lacking in the person, 1/10 genetic reasons.

The void will always need to be filled, we can decide what to fill it with. Self compassion is key.

Edited October 8, 2021 by Terell Kirby

[Gesundheit2]

Realizing how addiction is nothing but a way to escape an imaginary pain by seeking imaginary pleasures, and then deciding to face the pain head-on and letting go of old imagination.

[Jakuchu]

Asking yourself what it is that you are ultimately trying to get out of the thing that you are addicted to 

[Tim R]

10 hours ago, Someone here said:

If you can summarize it all in just one key piece of insight to quit any addiction.. What would it be? 

Love.

What is sought is Love. And the only thing that can put an end to addiction, is Love. 

What one is addicted to, is Love. But a rather crude and conditional form of love. Food, drugs, sex, porn, exercise, booze, etc. What they all have in common is that they provide Love - albeit only temporarily and highly conditional.

[TripleFly]

Find a practice, that's what worked for me. Then your addictive tendencies finally have a channel.

By practice I mean anything that has a very high skill ceiling, so you can constantly practice. Something you enjoy. 

[EternalForest]

Replace it with something healthy. Instead of being hooked on gambling, replace that time with reading.

[universe]

Choice.

[Ethan1]

Evaluate your relationship with yourself. Look at how you treat yourself.

Look at why you abandon yourself. What emotions are being avoided from being felt. 

Overcome self-abandonment by turning inwards. 

Most addictions tend to be an external solution to internal pain. Determine where the root of your pain stems. Be honest with yourself. 

 

Awareness of what you are turning away from is the first step. Awareness of why. 

You're aware there's a problem. That's your responsibility to dig deeper and sort out. 

Edited October 10, 2021 by Ethan1

[Carl-Richard]

If your addiction is a response to an underlying trauma or other dysfunction (lack of meaning, belonging etc.), address those first. Then become aware of the mechanics of cyclical thought and behavior, discover your goals and interests, and ask yourself if x behavior is in alignment with your interests. Maybe you're not giving yourself a good enough reason to quit smoking or giving up junk food. However, once you've convinced yourself to quit, the only thing that is stopping you is a lack of awareness of your own mental state; of the discrepancy between your interests and compulsive cycles.