Whats the solution to suffering?

[RoerAmit]

So I suffer a lot and i dont like it, its too much and sometimes i even get suicidal

How can you be okay with suffering? How one can be okay with pain? Isnt it all of its point to be not okay with that? 
What a horrible situation 

I am selfish -> I suffer

I suffer -> I want to stop suffer -> stop be selfish - I am afraid.

so it looks likes it or i keep on suffering or deal with fears

Why the fuck it works that way??

I am feeling lost

Any wisdom?

[Consilience]

A nice simple way to frame it is:

Suffering = Resistance * Pain

When resistance goes to 0, no suffering, even during pain. 

How is this achieved? By training the sensory circuitry of conscious experience to have a high level of mindfulness. More mindfulness = less suffering, eventually to the point of zero in extreme cases, like that of Buddhist meditation masters. 

Practically, start with just being mindful of your breathing, how the breath is intrinsically settling, re-setting, healing, and satisfying. Meditation is the number one skill you’re looking for. 

??

[Chris365]

Realize the one who suffers is being experienced, like any other thought or sensation, it's not the experiencer.

What is suffering,  other than thoughts and sensations in the body that are given truth value by the illusory contraction you think you are, in a case of mistaken identification.

That, or spend a few decades going into all the nooks and crannies of the story of me, and re-arrange the deckchairs on the Titanic, aka shadow work.

Not that there is a choice,  God will do what it will ❤

[LastThursday]

You can suffer physically, to go hungry or to have bad health. You can suffer mentally, to think the worst, or to lose hope. Most mental suffering comes from telling yourself bad stories, it's letting our imaginations run the show. The answer should be obvious, drop the stories. Keep bringing your attention back to the present moment, being present now and not lost in fantasy. It's not easy to learn, but it is simple. Meditate. Understand that everything that's happened to you, is no longer happening to you, it no longer exists. Let it all go.

 

Edited October 7, 2021 by LastThursday

[Godishere]

I've found long distance running the best for negative feelings and thoughts. Work your way up to marathon distances. I'm telling you, for me personally this shit is crazy good for mental health.

[WelcometoReality]

5 hours ago, RoerAmit said:

I am feeling lost

Any wisdom?

If you feel lost, let yourself feel lost. If you feel fear, let yourself feel fear.if you resist, let yourself resist.

[Breakingthewall]

6 hours ago, Godishere said:

I've found long distance running the best for negative feelings and thoughts. Work your way up to marathon distances. I'm telling you, for me personally this shit is crazy good for mental health.

That is true, but if you do not solve the causes of suffering, you will continue with it inside, always. You will notice it more or less, but there it will be. I am referring to the psychological suffering that in my opinion is the rejection of yourself. the solution is acceptance. If you accept yourself fully, completely, including suffering, it will lose its poison. you have to make an effort and accept, value, say, that part of you that hurts, ashamed you. there can be no distortion between what is and what should be, or you will have a permanent knot inside. Accepting the divinity of your suffering is the key, humiliating yourself in the sense of eliminating the idea that things should have been different. you are that, there is no more. there can't be more. It is not in your hands of you, as ego, to think how this and that should have been. As an ego it is only in your hands to be proud of your suffering, it is your distinctive as a human, do not hide it or make up, or you will be hiding yourself.

Edited October 8, 2021 by Breakingthewall

[ivankiss]

The solution to suffering is more suffering.

But also: breathing and taking massive action in the right direction.

[Shin]

13 hours ago, RoerAmit said:

So I suffer a lot and i dont like it

Stop that.

[Batman]

Invert the suffering by loving it. Don't resist it, don't try to change it. Embrace it, enjoy it. Dare to ask for more suffering, tell yourself: give me your worst suffering.

Enjoy the suffering.

[Inliytened1]

@RoerAmit awaken.  Awakening transcends the self into selflessness.  That which has no self cannot suffer.  You may ask what happens when when self returns - well  when the self returns - remember you have transcended it...so you no longer identify as the self unless you choose to.

[impulse9]

As the Buddha taught, suffering is created by attachment. To liberate yourself from attachment is the way to cessation of suffering.

[Gregory1]

15 hours ago, RoerAmit said:

So I suffer a lot and i dont like it, its too much and sometimes i even get suicidal

How can you be okay with suffering? How one can be okay with pain? Isnt it all of its point to be not okay with that? 
What a horrible situation 

I am selfish -> I suffer

I suffer -> I want to stop suffer -> stop be selfish - I am afraid.

so it looks likes it or i keep on suffering or deal with fears

Why the fuck it works that way??

I am feeling lost

Any wisdom?

Are there things in your life you would like to do but are avoiding because of fear? 

This could cause suffering. 

Another reason could be your brain chemistry. Are you heavy metal toxic? Do you have chronic health problems you might need to solve? Are all your Vitamine levels checked and ok? 

Edited October 8, 2021 by Gregory1

[Shin]

41 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

@RoerAmit awaken.  Awakening transcends the self into selflessness.  That which has no self cannot suffer.  You may ask what happens when when self returns - well  when the self returns - remember you have transcended it...so you no longer identify as the self unless you choose to.

That's a bit much to ask of him now no ?

The most important thing he can do right now is to just observe the pain instead of rejecting it, that's already a lot of courage to muster imo.

[Flyboy]

I've said it before... but really recommend you read Seeing that Frees.  While rooted in Buddhism, it's a wise and loving book that basically shows you how to release clinging, starting from the very gross to the very subtle.

The end of the book will likely be way over your head until you're well down the path (it's over mine for now), but there is a tremendous amount of helpful material/exercises that can greatly break your attachment to illusion (and thus reduce suffering).

[Nahm]

Honesty. 

[Inliytened1]

1 minute ago, Nahm said:

Honesty. 

Very true.

(No pun intended).

@Shin we need to aim high No?  Not chase though.

 

[Nahm]

@Inliytened1 ?

”Such a lonely word” - Billy Joel

[Shin]

1 minute ago, Inliytened1 said:

Very true.

(No pun intended).

@Shin we need to aim high No?  Not chase though.

 

I just find that people in his situation, often chase enlightenment as an escape from reality, they only want it to get a magic pill to not have to deal with their problems.

[Inliytened1]

5 minutes ago, Shin said:

I just find that people in his situation, often chase enlightenment as an escape from reality, they only want it to get a magic pill to not have to deal with their problems.

Yes I know exactly what you mean.  In which case it is their ego that is co-opting.  It's almost better if they don't perceive awakening as an end to suffering...eh..but the paradox is - it is.  I would be untruthful if I told you otherwise.  Not to say someone has to be awake to transcend suffering..but what is interesting is as I said that I realized the two unite..just not in the way the ego thinks it does.