Kinda upset that most guys I find attractive are taken

[somegirl]

@mandyjw

I'm not sure I understood you. You're suggesting that those "creeps" or weirdos are the best kind to hang out with and get to know?

Why would I feel uncomfortable around them then? Doesn't our intuition suggest something? 

I'm not sure if I am open to the possibility that someone who makes me uncomfortable is actually, in fact, a good guy I should get to know.
 

 

[mandyjw]

@somegirl Whatever you resist persists. 

I'm not suggesting you change a single thing via action, just examine your thoughts and reactions. 

[Nahm]

On 10/7/2021 at 7:30 AM, somegirl said:

How do I actually attract high quality guy I like and have a fullfulling relationship with him?

Are you the moth or the light?

Are you seeking or attracting?

What’s sought of course, can not be what is. 

Bring simplicity and equanimity aboard. You want what you want from seeing that it is possible, from seeing that it exists, from seeing that others have it. Ask them. When you ask anyone else, you miss all you’re getting is nonsense theories & hyper-personal justifications, which didn’t / aren’t working for them. It’s on you to realize they don’t realize this.  If you want a million dollars, simply ask millionaires about it. Stop adding so much egoic complexity and falling for people’s mind games. Unless you’re into that. Then rock that. It only makes the moth realize it’s the light faster. Yet, there is certainly no need to create that karma, to go such an exhausting route. 

Utilize simplicity, direct experience and the emotional scale. When you’re thinkin about the guy you desire, notice, in accordance with direct experience, that is an idea ‘in your head’, there is no actual guy. So what you’re experiencing literally can not have anything to do with that guy. It’s emotion, doubt.  The light does not, and can not know, doubt. Imagine him as you desire, believe, know he is coming, and be getting ready. Be excited, eager (use the scale). Have your eyes open to see him, which means shifting focus from the heresy thought stories of fools, to the actual perception & feeling of what you want. This means recognition of how you’ve been influenced, and expunging it willingly. 

In a future scenario, because doubt was recognized and so swiftly let go, you wouldn’t make this thread. 

This thread inflates the doubt, justifies it, and you attract in kind, those with doubt, those who justify. 

Gotta notice you’re doing that, and shift it to what you actually want. 

What do you pour your love into? What is just for you? That is your real alchemy of power. It echoes to every corner of your life experience, without a doubt. Always felt, always unseen. 

[Etherial Cat]

4 hours ago, somegirl said:

My skin is not too good. Actually have problem with body acne. Face skin is perfect, but my back, legs, stomach... It's full of some kind of acne, dark sports, bruises... I have very sensitive skin.

Have you ever tried Retin-a ?

4 hours ago, somegirl said:

Absolutely, I don't understand being submissive. In bed, I might be able to understand, but like being submissive as a person? What does that mean? To negate my personality and individuality to please my alpha man, because that's somehow right and feminine? Nah lol. 

Some men project the relationship they have with their own feminine side outwards. Unconsciously, they see everything Feminine as secondary and expect their woman to take on the same role. Usually, that comes especially from men who are a bit insecure about their masculinity and try to max it out.

But I also think that women tend to mimic naturally a non-submissive posture which is quite similar and can be mistaken as such. When I am totally awed by a man and won over I am very open and receptive to his wishes. I'll just not give him anything I need for myself and can't be given away, because I need it to function and be happy. This allows me to be generous with the rest.

4 hours ago, somegirl said:

Where did you meet them, if I may ask?

You can find them anywhere at random, but there are specific sociological factors that facilitate finding them in certain areas in high concentration. Usually, in areas where stage Green and beyond is common for a long time. Honestly, a city like San Francisco has an incredible quality pool, for exemple!  In the USA, you've got a lot of quality men in California and on the northern part of the East Coast.

In Europe, the Netherlands, Scandinavia, Germany, Switzerland have definitely areas where you can find some. And you find them around social spaces quality guys go to

4 hours ago, somegirl said:

Hmm. Not my place lol. This plac I live is stage Blue. Would need to move which would be kinda scary...

Your development will be slowed down by remaining in an area like that. And your opportunities as well. Honestly, the chances that your authenticity and needs will be crushed by some stage Blue nonsense is high.

You might want to learn an extra-foreign language ASAP and go to corresponding country. Probably one where you get a high amount of these "quality guys".

4 hours ago, somegirl said:

Thanks. these are very helpful. 
 

You are welcome. I'm happy to help! 

[Harlen Kelly]

16 hours ago, somegirl said:

I just realized that I'm not high quality girl that would attract the guy I want

That's a real possibility. 

[somegirl]

51 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

Have you ever tried Retin-a ?

Omg, I know about it but I wasn't using that but Retinol, which is similar thing I think. Though I stopped using it because I'm afraid to use things without prescription. Do you have experience with it, is it safe to use on your own?
 

53 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

I'll just not give him anything I need for myself and can't be given away, because I need it to function and be happy. This allows me to be generous with the rest.

As it should be. 

54 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

In Europe, the Netherlands, Scandinavia, Germany, Switzerland have definitely areas where you can find some. And you find them around social spaces quality guys go to

Yep, Scandinavia. Would like to go there one day. Maybe even Switzerland but it's a hussle to get citizenship.

Honestly I just hope I can find high quality guys here as well. I mean even though it's stage blue society, there's always a chance to find other stages as well. Actually no matter where you are there are all kinds of stages.

 

 

[Etherial Cat]

7 minutes ago, somegirl said:

Omg, I know about it but I wasn't using that but Retinol, which is similar thing I think. Though I stopped using it because I'm afraid to use things without prescription. Do you have experience with it, is it safe to use on your own?

Yep!

I do have nearly 15 years of experience with it. A dermatologist prescribed it to me when I was a teenager to help with some acne. And then, by the time of my early 20s I started using it on my face to keep my skin clear and prevent future wrinkles

In certain countries, it is to be found over the counter and you don't need a prescription. But in most countries you have to ask for a prescription.

It is safe. The product has a long track record (it's been approved since 1962) but you still need to use it properly as it is quite potent. Though, I don't have experience with using it on the body. I had a quick look on Google et it seems like it's safe.

Regarding your body acne, you might want to check what are the underlying factors. I luckily don't have any so I am not very much aware but some people get it because they have food intolerance they aren't aware of, I've heard somewhere.

19 minutes ago, somegirl said:

Yep, Scandinavia. Would like to go there one day. Maybe even Switzerland but it's a hussle to get citizenship.

Honestly I just hope I can find high quality guys here as well. I mean even though it's stage blue society, there's always a chance to find other stages as well. Actually no matter where you are there are all kinds of stages.

Then you might want to learn a Scandinavian language. It comes off  as an important requirement on the job market, there. 

I had entertained at some point the possibility to move there. Their weather and daylight/nightlight ratio is awful, though.

Note that you don't need a Swiss citizenship to stay in Switzerland. You can get a permanent residency quite easily if you've got a EU citizenship and a job.

And yes sure. You've got developed people more or less everywhere.

Good luck! 

[NoSelfSelf]

@somegirl Well from the way you speak like:we would split things and that you already didnt learn to cook(feminine quality) shows me you are type of girl that would go better with decent beta type of guy imo...what you wrote is not unrealistic its realistic but i assume you want even more than that ,you dont give the guy that fits you a chance and you pursue that high quality and you dont want to be submissive and its easily seen by "them"...

[Jacob Morres]

8 hours ago, mandyjw said:

There aren't any weirdos either. Seriously. The real weirdos are really the very best kind. You're too smart for some guy you deem "safe" and "attractive." That's never gonna do it for you. Why do women like vampire fantasies? (Don't judge it, I know.) But why? Repulsion, fear and attraction are all related. I'm not saying to put yourself in danger, just question yourself, why don't I feel safe? Is it really the person exuding it, or my judgement of them that I don't like? 

very true, weirdos are just a judgement. my two best friends who i initially thought were "weirdos" were just my perception of them, not actuality. in reality, they were great people who had a ton of phenomenal qualities that my "weirdo" label had gotten in the way of seeing. i was projecting 

they also both became societies version of success as well and built a lot of social status too (doctor and successful entrepreneur), but really they were the same person all along 

Edited October 9, 2021 by Jacob Morres

[Etherial Cat]

28 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@somegirl Well from the way you speak like:we would split things and that you already didnt learn to cook(feminine quality) shows me you are type of girl that would go better with decent beta type of guy imo...what you wrote is not unrealistic its realistic but i assume you want even more than that ,you dont give the guy that fits you a chance and you pursue that high quality and you dont want to be submissive and its easily seen by "them"...

[Etherial Cat]

It's a disgrace a moderator write such things. Seriously.

Is this 1955?

[Raptorsin7]

3 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

Haha I hade a similar response, but I'm sure some people have that response to my post too.

@NoSelfSelf You sound like you're quoting the red pill like undergrads quote from research papers. There is truth in some stuff you say, but it's robotic and detached from reality. As a mod you should know better

[somegirl]

1 hour ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Well from the way you speak like:we would split things and that you already didnt learn to cook(feminine quality) shows me you are type of girl that would go better with decent beta type of guy imo...what you wrote is not unrealistic its realistic but i assume you want even more than that ,you dont give the guy that fits you a chance and you pursue that high quality and you dont want to be submissive and its easily seen by "them"...

Wow... You will tell me who will be better fit for me? ? I sense strangely negative tone in your comments.

Don't know what's up, since you're a moderator here. 

I won't be submissive, and I have my standards, just like guys do, if that triggers you, I don't know what to tell you. I guess we all want best for ourselves.

We live in 2021, not in middle ages. 

Edited October 9, 2021 by somegirl

[Etherial Cat]

3 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

but I'm sure some people have that response to my post too.

NoSelfSelf puts the bar high.  I don't know about others, but you're not even close to trigger that reaction when I read you. Your posture is also very different and much more respectful. So don't worry. 

Beside, we are all here to grow . I embarrass myself, do mistake and say stupid things way too often to blame anyone for that.

[somegirl]

20 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

It's a disgrace a moderator write such things. Seriously.

Is this 1955?

Not sure what's happening ? I hope he's fine.

[Raptorsin7]

10 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

NoSelfSelf puts the bar high.  I don't know about others, but you're not even close to trigger that reaction when I read you. Your posture is also very different and much more respectful. So don't worry. 

Beside, we are all here to grow . I embarrass myself, do mistake and say stupid things way too often to blame anyone for that.

Thanks. Yeah I think as a mod there should be an expectation for better quality. But I do think he was trying to help.

[somegirl]

Cooking is not feminine trait, it's a life skill. That everyone needs to survive. Let's finally move past 1900's. 

[PurpleTree]

i love cooking

just not washing dishes and cleaning up, god bless my dish washer

[somegirl]

@PurpleTree Nice. I don't know but I love washing dishes and cleaning. I just imagine, as I'm cleaning my room, how I'm cleaning and organizing my mind along the way (because I view my room as a reflection of my mind). 

[Harlen Kelly]

1 hour ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@somegirl you are type of girl that would go better with decent beta type of guy imo...what you wrote is not unrealistic its realistic but i assume you want even more than that ,you dont give the guy that fits you a chance and you pursue that high quality and you dont want to be submissive and its easily seen by "them"...

That's a common occurrence nowadays with some clueless females. 

Edited October 9, 2021 by Harlen Kelly