My paradigm is wrong

[Strangeloop]

So in a previous post where I talked about pushing this girl's boundaries too much I talked that I was going to let her go and move on. But I couldn't... I went back to her and fucking did it again. why am I posting this in meditation section? Because when we talked I didnt really hear her talk. It's almost like the universe was talking to me through her. All I remember is that we talked a lot she smiled but in a fearful manner. I litterally picked her up liften her with my arms after seeing this black consciousness state where nothing exists. And when she was talking it was like the universe talking this very weird for me and I'm really confused and scared of what I can do unconsciously without really knowing the things I'm doing. It's like I'm not aware of the me. The Strangeloop of who is writing. Like I'm some kind of entity who is observing and not the person who is living this life.

What can I do to stop bringing fear in this girls life how do I find abundance without being needy. Because she couldn't set the boundaries. She is too scared and I'm scared of what can happen regarding my behaviour with other people.

How do I stop being the creep? how do I become a person who doesnt scare girls away but attracts them with abundance?

And what is my next move with her?

[Vincent S]

Let her go.

Find who you really are.

[Thought Art]

Learning emotional mastery is a skill. There is no shame in it. You will make mistakes but keep working on it everyday until you master your sexuality, relationships, dating, intimacy, shadow sexual elements, self image, skills, etc

How To Be An Adult In Love

Edited October 6, 2021 by Thought Art

[Nahm]

@Strangeloop

If there’s a chance you’ll harm yourself or someone else, seek help immediately. Choose non-doing over doing anything you might regret. Breathe & relax. 

Beliefs about yourself aren’t resonating. Has nothing to do with her or abundance. Abundance is the default, it’s what is. There’s nothing you can do to get what is. Let beliefs go and you end up there. Which is here, just, minus the beliefs. 

Next step with her is no step with her. Take some time to express and understand emotions. Untangle yourself, and when you love what you’ve got there so to speak, go share it with her. 

Amid so much complexity, distraction and never ending potential for confusion, see one thing clearly - you are only ‘dealing with’ your beliefs about yourself. No more, no less. Not saying it’s easy, but it is simple. A temptation of rebuttal to add complexity highlights the importance of daily morning meditation, or simply, slowing everything down. Godspeed. For a relative glimpse of how fast you been goin, watch a tree grow. 

[Roy]

I believe Leo put it best in one of his videos, "How to ace life". Do the thing that is most emotionally difficult.

Let that statement be your guide when you feel lost or "not sure what your next move should be".

A few months ago I had a girlfriend where after a few dates together, having had sex and her opening up about some deep trauma - I knew it wasn't the right relationship for me and she needed time to process things as a single person before being with someone. So it was best to cut things off. However I didn't want to do it over the phone as it would seem too cold, so I suggested we meet in person. I didn't plan for us to do anything or go anywhere so we could just be at her place to talk. We ended up talking for a while, but for some reason I just couldn't muster up the strength to break up with her at the time. I ended up staying the night and we had sex again and we connected some more, but in the back of my mind I knew it didn't change anything.

A short while later I cut things off as softly as I could, but it would have been easier for everyone if I just did the thing that was most emotionally difficult.

Realize that ALL your emotions (even the unpleasant ones) are communications for you, and that you shouldn't ignore them. It's not up to anyone else to tell you what they mean or which ones are "right", you'll have to figure that out on your own with experience.

Like @Nahm said. Remember to breathe, relax, and observe. Take time to consider emotions and actions, without action.