Toxic Mother, help?

[EntheogenTruthSeeker]

It’s getting bad with my mom. 
 

She basically gaslights me 247, is needy as fuck, she expects me to bond with her and talk about my feelings everyday when I just want to be left alone. 
 

She blows up if I say I don’t want to talk. It’s not that deep. She constantly harasses me for eating healthy food and telling me I need to lose weight, like I don’t fucking know that. 
 

Anytime I see her, she starts an argument or with the family. 
 

I would move out, but I’m really focusing on my health, detoxing, and sobriety before I get a job. So, that’s not an option. 
 

She voted for trump, is 61, and is beyond ignorant and judgmental. She also abused me physically, and emotionally when I was a kid, so I really don’t have the patience for her bullshit anymore. And my dad just puts up with it because he’ll lose all his money in a divorce. I really fucking resent him for that. 
 

Being around her instantly makes me want to break shit, vomit from her energy, and get violent. I am NOT like that, with anyone else in the slightest. It’s just never ending low consciousness with her. 

She has no respect for my boundaries, and keeps invading you hoping you’ll break and open up to her, but it’s just so fucking immature and needy.

She always apologizes and says she’ll change but has no capacity to do so, as her brain is rotted with negativity and low consciousness. She’s the type to believe whatever trump says. 
 

thanks!:)

[wma]

Don't give high-energy reactions to her negativity. That'll only fuel the flame. Give energy to her positivity, give nothing to her negativity.

MGK isn't a good role model, and most of his fans are angsty. Angst isn't a very wise emotion.

The way you describe it, it sounds pretty bad. Probably move out ASAP if you're 18+. Yes, you'll probably have more bills to pay. But life overall will be better, and you'll grow a lot from moving into adulthood.

Despite how "easy" it can be to live with parents, eat their food, pay low rent or none at all... it can't compare to becoming financially self-sufficient, living life on your terms, and getting away from the toxic energy.

[wma]

Also, creating some space in close relationships (like those between parent and child) can be very healing in the long-term, even if there's some immediate unrest.

[Raze]

TITLE: How Do You Deal With Unconscious People?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqr98O8QT3M

TITLE:  Eckhart Tolle On Parental Criticism

 

[Zakaria]

there is only one thing you can do. Cut your relationship with any toxic person.

 

[Monkey_in_suit]

3 hours ago, EntheogenTruthSeeker said:

I would move out, but I’m really focusing on my health, detoxing, and sobriety before I get a job. So, that’s not an option. 

You should just focus on finding a way to move out. That should be your number 1 priority waaaay before those others. 

I can't express enough how moving out from my toxic family changed my life immensely!

[wma]

58 minutes ago, Monkey_in_suit said:

You should just focus on finding a way to move out. That should be your number 1 priority waaaay before those others. 

I can't express enough how moving out from my toxic family changed my life immensely!

Can confirm this. I just leave people when they get toxic. There was a time where everyone I knew was getting toxic so I just slept in my car for 3 months. The amount I've grown from moving on from toxicity is surreal, never imagined it.

[EntheogenTruthSeeker]

@wma @Monkey_in_suit @Zakaria @lmfao @Raze thank you so much everyone! I am throughly shocked at how much support I just received.
 

I will look into those videos. 
 

I really can’t move out, right now. I am in debt $1000 from moving out pre-maturely a month ago, and it didn’t end up well. I’m not ready. 
 

My chronic fatigue, mental issues, bad sleep patterns, etc are not healed enough to even work a standard 20-40 hour job yet. I have no foundation. I just spent 7 months in and out of hospitals, so I’m very out of touch with work-ethic/normalcy. 
 

im going to try and go on walks with her, but honestly, I just emotionally have no desire to be around her. She’s dead to me. She was gone for 3 weeks and not once did I miss her. i forgot she existed. on my last acid trip, I remembered in detail how she beat me and all the horrible things I’ve been through because of her, and ever since then, I have no space in my heart for her. Who tells a 4-5year old they’re fat, hide food from them, beat them, tell them they’ll never get a girl because you weigh 69lbs and have a bit of acne? She’s fucked! She also would put adderall out every morning after she knew how suicidal and addicted I was from it. She’s incapable of being a good person, most of the time.
 

I only wanted her home so she can do my vegetable juicing. 
 

My main priority right now is going to do Bufo and releasing the huge pent up PTSD from my life. It’s deep and it’s physically locked in my body, I want a release and Truth, just once. 
 

I saved up $500, so within the next month in a half, I’ll be doing it. 

[gettoefl]

hang in there, can so totally relate, the person who treats you the worst is here to teach you the most, that is how i cope

i just inject zero energy into the relationship nowadays, not that she notices anything different, she is my spiritual practice to see insanity trauma pain up close and personal and to not impose

Edited October 6, 2021 by gettoefl

[Opo]

8 hours ago, EntheogenTruthSeeker said:

@wma @Monkey_in_suit @Zakaria @lmfao @Raze 

im going to try and go on walks with her, 

I would go on walks alone, especially when she triggers you. 

It's the best way to clear your head from all that toxic shit. 

[Waken]

Ugh, I feel with you. At the moment I'm living or with my mother, or together with my father and brother. My family doesn't judge or tell me what to do that much, but to some degree. I decided to move to an ashram/center and I'll go there in approximately 1-2 weeks. A little volunteering work I then need to do, but I don't need to cook there and it allows me to relax more and have more of the sense that I'm living my own life. Just sharing that as something you could consider too if you like.
if you do decide to stay with her, well, then what advice could someone give, as you probably can know better than anyone else what the path of least resistance is there. For example, just going out of the house or being in your own room more if you feel like it or such.

[Nahm]

15 hours ago, EntheogenTruthSeeker said:

So, that’s not an option

Yes it is. 

[wma]

Sounds like the root of issues like chronic fatique are the very environment you're living in. There is probably an avenue you could take to move out. Other family you could stay with? Friends? If not, then I'd say at least get a job. Then you'll have an excuse to spend more time out of the house, you'll be in a new environment, you'll meet new people, and (probably most importantly) you'll be making money. Then within a few months, you can save up a few thousand dollars or so, pay your debt, and move out.