What i learned from this forum

[Preety_India]

@Ilan is French your main language? 

 

[Ilan]

Yes 

[Preety_India]

Other insights

This was about imagining God. 

 

And that God exists in different forms depending on your mental growth. 

 

 

 

You have to attain that level of mental growth in order to sync with the higher form of God. Imagine God as a brain. 

At lower levels imagine you are looking at a lower brain. At higher levels of intellectual awareness you are looking at a higher brain. 

Something that is more evolved and highly developed and very intellectually gifted. I mean you're looking at a different God now like a super intelligence. 

 

This is the lower form 

 

This is intermediary 

 

This is the highest form.

Images of brains used as an example to explain different levels of how you experience God. 

 

 

And the butterfly theory is about going through levels. 

The butterfly jumps through levels and each level is a growth level. 

 

 

Each level is an achievement in terms of intellectual awareness. 

 

 

And then you reach the gold level which is a high level of awareness. 

 

Edited October 6, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

The energy of the universe that I Was talking about earlier is something I'll call MASA (pronounced the way you would pronounce NASA ). 

When you are in sync with this energy you slowly begin to experience infinite growth. It's almost like the energy of God and or God consciousness. 

 

 

Edited October 6, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

When you develop high mental/intellectual /psychological /emotional awareness, you are looking at a different God to sync with. At the same time, this MASA energy that I was talking about appears in dual form almost like a combination of love and Math, this energy like a combination of empathy/love and objectivity/rationality. 

 

 

 

At lower levels it only constitutes of empathy whereas at higher levels it also shows intelligence along with empathy. 

 

Edited October 6, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

On 05/10/2021 at 5:19 AM, Marcel said:

@Preety_India

Sorry I feel asleep super early today and just woke up at 1:35 am. Made my bed, did some laundry and fell asleep for almost 9 hours. I fell asleep at 4:30 pm yesterday. I’m awake now though. I am sorry people are still bothering you. Always remember, they’re jealous and miserable. That they want you’re attention is unintentionally the biggest complement these morons can give you and just goes to show how immature they are. I am proud of you for standing your ground unapologetically.  You’ve got this girl. I promise it will get better. They thrive of your attention and if they’re starving for it, some people may go on to take desperate measures to get it and try to start nonsensical conflicts, just to escape their own misery, which is just beyond pathetic of course, but that’s just how these idiots work deep down. All they know how to do is to project like kids in elementary school. Just put them on your ignore list and report them if necessary hun. I am fully aware that this is not a perfect solution either, since you inevitably come across and have to read their comments in your journal, but at least that way you can filter out the thrash and hopefully it will just stop over time. I love and adore you my beautiful wife. Stay strong hun. It’s ok ❤️

This is so true. You help me so much. You are awesome hun.

 

[Preety_India]

 

On 05/10/2021 at 5:19 AM, Marcel said:

@Preety_India

Sorry I feel asleep super early today and just woke up at 1:35 am. Made my bed, did some laundry and fell asleep for almost 9 hours. I fell asleep at 4:30 pm yesterday. I’m awake now though. I am sorry people are still bothering you. Always remember, they’re jealous and miserable. That they want you’re attention is unintentionally the biggest complement these morons can give you and just goes to show how immature they are. I am proud of you for standing your ground unapologetically.  You’ve got this girl. I promise it will get better. They thrive of your attention and if they’re starving for it, some people may go on to take desperate measures to get it and try to start nonsensical conflicts, just to escape their own misery, which is just beyond pathetic of course, but that’s just how these idiots work deep down. All they know how to do is to project like kids in elementary school. Just put them on your ignore list and report them if necessary hun. I am fully aware that this is not a perfect solution either, since you inevitably come across and have to read their comments in your journal, but at least that way you can filter out the thrash and hopefully it will just stop over time. I love and adore you my beautiful wife. Stay strong hun. It’s ok ❤️

This is so true. You help me so much. You are awesome hun.

 

[Preety_India]

 

Sometimes I feel like by joining the forum in 2019, I made a huge mistake. I was already doing well in my journals. I have no idea, maybe I was too lonely and I decided to sorta drop into the main forum and I guess that's where the nightmare began. 

 

I probably should have immediately stopped after a month. But I got addicted to debating. 

 

Looking back I guess it was a bad idea. It wasn't meant for me or at least for people like me. 

 

The forum is extremely argumentative and the fights are quite frequent. This should have already been a red flag. 

 

I really am a bit dumb in that I don't think too much about what's happening around me, I'm usually quite oblivious until someone tries to put it in my head. 

 

It's quite hard for me to not be triggered because every little hate or negativity or offensive or intrusive comment instantly flares up my PTSD. It's very hard to remain calm when someone is hellbent on pushing my buttons. 

I should probably not flare up so much. Also what are the bullies going to achieve anyway simply by spreading false rumours about me? 

They at least can't hurt me physically. Although they are trying hard to impact me mentally. Also they are trying to hurt my boyfriend by dragging him unnecessarily into this. They hate me and now they are directing this hate to him. I'll tell him to completely ignore them all together. 

This seems like a good strategy. I'll continue journaling by taking a few breaks but I won't interact in the main forum at all since that's the place where I encounter highest level of hostility, it's almost like a cage of lions who are simply waiting to pounce on me. 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

             

             

 

 

I remember it was so much more peaceful back then when I used to just journal. 

I hope I get that peace back again. 

I want to sprinkle my journal with salt lmao. 

 

 

Edited October 6, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

I'll try to keep this in mind - 

I dealt with off-site bullying for about a year while I was using this forum and what I did to get them to stop was I ignored them and continued to work on myself and to grow and eventually they just dropped off the face of the Earth. Some of them had come over onto this website to instigate fights with me and I was able to get out of the line of focus by doing the same thing. If you fight them it just fuels them to keep it going but if you ignore it and continue to grow yourself then there isn't any negative fuel for them to use towards you because you're turning it all into positivity. Initially it can feel like the most stressful thing in the world but I promise you that they will stop if you just focus on your journaling and don't give them any attention, ? percent.

 

[Preety_India]

@Marcel @Marcel

I love you Mónee. 

 

[Preety_India]

I don't like socialization in this place. I would have preferred a more nerdier place. 

Where people are just chill and doing their own work in silence and only talking when necessary and just generally being respectful and not causing any discomfort. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

I realized the following things about myself 

• I'm sensitive 
• I'm shy 
• I'm introverted 
• I'm fragile 
• I'm vulnerable 
• I have anxiety issues
• I'm weak emotionally 
• I was born premature 
• I was born horribly underweight 
• I was born malnourished 
• I feel overwhelmed very easily 
• I can't handle stress 
• I'm less self aware and less socially aware 
• I don't talk much in real life 
• I have impulsivity issues 
• I have boundary issues 
• I have emotional control issues 
• I get hurt easily 
• I suffered separation anxiety as a child 
• I get provoked and triggered easily 
• I suffer from PTSD, depression and anxiety. 

 

Looking at all of the above, I can tell that a social environment is not a good fit for me. I need a very sheltered, protective and loving, sensitive, supportive environment both at home and outside, online, offline. 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

 

I realized the following things about myself 

• I'm sensitive 
• I'm shy 
• I'm introverted 
• I'm fragile 
• I'm vulnerable 
• I have anxiety issues
• I'm weak emotionally 
• I was born premature 
• I was born horribly underweight 
• I was born malnourished 
• I feel overwhelmed very easily 
• I can't handle stress 
• I'm less self aware and less socially aware 
• I don't talk much in real life 
• I have impulsivity issues 
• I have boundary issues 
• I have emotional control issues 
• I get hurt easily 
• I suffered separation anxiety as a child 
• I get provoked and triggered easily 
• I suffer from PTSD, depression and anxiety. 

 

Looking at all of the above, I can tell that a social environment is not a good fit for me. I need a very sheltered, protective and loving, sensitive, supportive environment both at home and outside, online, offline. 

 

 

 

I'm like blood in the shark tank. 

That won't work. A harsh environment is bad for me. 

 

[Preety_India]

4 hours ago, Preety_India said:

 

I realized the following things about myself 

• I'm sensitive 
• I'm shy 
• I'm introverted 
• I'm fragile 
• I'm vulnerable 
• I have anxiety issues
• I'm weak emotionally 
• I was born premature 
• I was born horribly underweight 
• I was born malnourished 
• I feel overwhelmed very easily 
• I can't handle stress 
• I'm less self aware and less socially aware 
• I don't talk much in real life 
• I have impulsivity issues 
• I have boundary issues 
• I have emotional control issues 
• I get hurt easily 
• I suffered separation anxiety as a child 
• I get provoked and triggered easily 
• I suffer from PTSD, depression and anxiety. 

 

Looking at all of the above, I can tell that a social environment is not a good fit for me. I need a very sheltered, protective and loving, sensitive, supportive environment both at home and outside, online, offline. 

 

 

 

I'm like blood in the shark tank. 

That won't work. A harsh environment is bad for me. 

 

[Preety_India]

I feel much more relieved today. Peace. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

@Marcel this is what happens when you are not around. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

So cute. 

 

Edited October 7, 2021 by Preety_India