You don't want enlightenment. Forget it.

[Endangered-EGO]

I can't believe I didn't listen to people who told me that before. I'm gonna repeat it.

"You don't want enlightenment and you can't want enlightenment."

That's basically it.

I'm not gonna say:"You're already enlightened" because nobody who seeks enlightenment is gonna want to hear that. Me included.

Also, it's not about reading this in a right way for you to get it or not.

It's more complex than that. And it's more simple than that.

Also: "Realisations don't enlighten or liberate you".

They just give you insights into reality, that's it, and those insights are gonna tell you to some degree that you're gonna have to do the following things: (after "here's the deal)

You don't want to be nothingness/GOD/emptiness all the time.

Because what's more empty than no-thingness? Non-existence, and that's death and or the absence of any perception.

So here's the deal:

Obviously you either want more of life or fewer of those negative things we call suffering. And you heard about spirituality or enlightenment. Bliss, god, liberation, enlightenment.

If you took some psychedelics or had orgasmic awakenings you might think you want that all the time.

For example, I had a kundalini awakening. I can't describe the pleasure I've had having it awaken. When it rose I felt like I was the sun being loved into existence. The next few weeks I just had to focus for a split second on my lower back and could maintain that cosmic orgasm for as long as I wanted.

This sounds a lot like enlightenment, but it isn't. It's like a heroin IV drip. And the heroin is not gonna last, you're gonna lose it. 

That's your view on enlightenment if you seek more from life. And once you have that, which you don't necessarily need, you're gonna face suffering, which you'd want to escape from too.

So here's the second thing.

You can want enlightenment because life is too much suffering and you don't care that much about beauty pleasure etc. So you're gonna try everything you can, to escape suffering, because that's what enlightenment is for you. You're gonna cause suffering in order to escape suffering. The insane ego-mind is gonna have those ideas.

You're also gonna want to kill yourself to avoid suffering. That's why you can't want enlightenment. You'd rather kill yourself than become enlightened.

Because enlightenment is...

No more doing, there's nothing you can do, there's just suffering and the mind handling it. That's it. There's no hope. Enlightenment is NOT the last hope, it's the end of hope alltogether.

Most important message:

"The thing you want to avoid most in your subjective experience is the door to enlightenment"

That's it: If you want to escape your shitty life, then your shitty life is the door to enlightenment, and there's nothing you can do about it. That's surrender.

Detaching from your shitty life is not enlightenment, it's what keeps you from enlightenment.

If you have just one reason for pursuing enlightenment, that's it. That thing is the path / the door. So turn around 180°.

There's also nothing you can do except exhaust yourself, until you give up.

The grace of God doesn't show up if you're frustrated. It only shows up once you surrender thinking the only way out is suicide. That's how far it goes. And that's not even total enlightenment. That's when the falling into enlightenment CAN (but doesn't have to) start.

It's as if you commited suicide, landed in hell for eternity, and had to accept it. That's when the grace of god shows up. 

YOU CAN'T WANT THAT!!!!

So what can you do?

Simple: There is "what IS" and there is "Aversion to what IS".

Be minful of the "aversion to what is", so that it becomes "what is".

AVERSION is illusory. Aversion is already "What IS"

The seeking is gonna end with the aversion to the thing that makes you seek enlightenment in the first place.

 

Important notice:

1. Don't play with suicide or suicidal thoughts.

2. Never hurt yourself emotionally or physically on purpose.

3. Never hurt other people/animals physically or emotionally.

4. Don't fuck up your life in any way. Don't change anything in your day-to-day life.

Those are not "additional rules", but just indications that if you have those ideas, you don't understand what is being talked about.

If you have those thoughts/ideas, feel free to PM me or comment them, I'm gonna tell you what you misunderstand.

[Thought Art]

Hmmm, I think it's paradoxical 

[Endangered-EGO]

4 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

Hmmm, I think it's paradoxical 

@Thought Art Yes, that's the point!

[Kundalini Cataclysm]

Really good post, even though I can't claim to have understood it 100%. But I'm coming to the point of feeling like having to choose between suicide and living the life I have again and again, which just feels awful because it seems like the choice between pest and cholera. Have also understood the "total surrender" thing conceptually, but not embodied it yet. Maybe you have some pointers for me, maybe not, but great post, anyway!

[Chris365]

12 hours ago, Endangered-EGO said:

Important notice:

1. Don't play with suicide or suicidal thoughts.

Who is there to have these thoughts? If it's noticed that such thoughts arise, is there anything to do?

12 hours ago, Endangered-EGO said:

2. Never hurt yourself emotionally or physically on purpose.

'Purpose' is something the self attaches to happenings. Most emotional hurt is probably perceived as not "on purpose"

12 hours ago, Endangered-EGO said:

3. Never hurt other people/animals physically or emotionally.

What does it mean, to hurt other people emotionally, and is that something in 'your' control? How other people apparently react, 'you' don't control

12 hours ago, Endangered-EGO said:

4. Don't fuck up your life in any way. Don't change anything in your day-to-day life.

Ehm... so if I feel like meditating for 8hrs/day, I shouldn't proceed? for fear it may fuck up 'my' life?

These "shoulds/shouldn't s " could add to the thought energy and reinforce the illusory 'me'...

[Endangered-EGO]

39 minutes ago, Kundalini Cataclysm said:

Really good post, even though I can't claim to have understood it 100%. But I'm coming to the point of feeling like having to choose between suicide and living the life I have again and again, which just feels awful because it seems like the choice between pest and cholera. Have also understood the "total surrender" thing conceptually, but not embodied it yet. Maybe you have some pointers for me, maybe not, but great post, anyway!

@Kundalini Cataclysm Yes. Meditate on the misery thoughts feelings and reactions with lots of concentration and equanimity.

If you're fully into it, you're gonna have the desire for delivrence, and then willing to reobserve the suffering of duality. This done correctly will land you in equanimity.

It always goes back and forth between suffering-desire for delivrence-reobservation and equanimity.

[SQAAD]

Nice post. 

[Endangered-EGO]

54 minutes ago, Chris365 said:

Who is there to have these thoughts? If it's noticed that such thoughts arise, is there anything to do?

'Purpose' is something the self attaches to happenings. Most emotional hurt is probably perceived as not "on purpose"

What does it mean, to hurt other people emotionally, and is that something in 'your' control? How other people apparently react, 'you' don't control

Ehm... so if I feel like meditating for 8hrs/day, I shouldn't proceed? for fear it may fuck up 'my' life?

These "shoulds/shouldn't s " could add to the thought energy and reinforce the illusory 'me'...

@Chris365 Those points I wrote is just to prevent insane ideas people get after reading my post.

Like:"oh, so suffering brings me closer to enlightenment, I'm gonna fuck up my life so bad, so I can checkmate my ego faster"

That's obviously not a good idea. And it's not necessary to change anything.

[TripleFly]

I like it. Now I understand what I mean when it doesn't make sense to want enlightenment.

Grace dawns on a lot of very ordinary and regular people every single day when they accept the cards they have been dealt with. 

[Kundalini Cataclysm]

3 hours ago, Endangered-EGO said:

@Kundalini Cataclysm Yes. Meditate on the misery thoughts feelings and reactions with lots of concentration and equanimity.

If you're fully into it, you're gonna have the desire for delivrence, and then willing to reobserve the suffering of duality. This done correctly will land you in equanimity.

It always goes back and forth between suffering-desire for delivrence-reobservation and equanimity.

I don't quite understand what you mean by all this fully I think. I've been making a practice out of observing the thoughts and emotions a lot already and always come back to that being the only thing that can be done, really.

[Endangered-EGO]

@Kundalini Cataclysm What happens after you have a bad day and you meditate on the negative emotions, do you feel better or desperate and like things got 10 times worse?

[The0Self]

At the same time, it just plays out as it does. And there's no way to get it wrong. Because all there is, is wholeness, and while nothing can be done, nothing needs to be done, as there's no one to do it anyway, and this totality is completely without meaning or purpose of any kind.

[Inliytened1]

19 hours ago, Endangered-EGO said:

I can't believe I didn't listen to people who told me that before. I'm gonna repeat it.

"You don't want enlightenment and you can't want enlightenment."

That's basically it.

I would agree from the standpoint if the ego wants awakening what happens is the ego will co-opt awakening for itself and turn it into an egoic goal or pursuit - thus paradoxically moving one further away from actual awakening. 

[Mason Riggle]

@Inliytened1 egos can erode themselves into non-existence, like a whirlpool eroding the riverbed until the whirlpool vanishes. 

It should be recognized, however, that 'egos', like whirlpools, don't really exist apart from 'that which is not ego' (you can't take a 'whirlpool' out of a river and show it to me.. it doesn't exist 'independent' of the river, it's a function of the whole river.. 'whirlpooling' is what the river does now and again). Ego is a function of mind.. and depending on how mind is being, egos arise and dissolve... 'egoing' is what the Universe does now and again. 

Edited October 4, 2021 by Mason Riggle

[Vincent S]

"Walked when should've ran. And ran when should've walked"

Paradoxical Nature of Existence...
The Double bind of Duality...

What can be done but to be done with what you cant do...

 

The plastic bag IS enlightened...

 

Edited October 4, 2021 by Vincent S

[The0Self]

It is true though. The apparent you necessarily does not want enlightenment. That’s its whole game. It’s not substantive though, it’s an added on piece of software that keeps things seeming separate and real, and logical and knowable and not-chaotic. So if it indeed seems to appear, that’s what’s longed for.

If it’s not what’s longed for, the seeking energy can sputter out in hopelessness, but there’s absolutely no need for that to happen, and no way to bring it about, because all that’s left is nothing being everything, which is already the case.

The terrible, great news is that the seeker/ego/doer is utterly impotent. It has never done anything. It's thinner than thin. It merely appropriates what happens as its own, which is not only a false claim, but it also it hides the fact that what happens is only appearing to happen, for no one.

Edited October 4, 2021 by The0Self

[Mason Riggle]

@The0Self sure.. the Universe is playing peek-a-boo.. pretending to be separate from itself so that it can 'know itself', and when it remembers who it really is, the game is over, and it's time to play again.