Should you still go out & do pick up (solo) even when you feel sad & tired?

[Striving for more]

My heart wants me to go & do pick up (solo) this evening at the club. 

But in the background I know I feel sad, stressed, anxious & tired. 

Should I just stay in? 

If I stay in I miss another chance, I feel lonely, theres a risk I'll eat bad foods & masturbate & wont sleep at night due to the regret. 

If I go out I may get lucky, or I may get rejected which may worse my already negative state, creating a loser effect, I may even cover this up through drinking & there's a risk I'll be that loser at the club alone at 5am.

OR ... I may get rejected & realise it's no big deal, & those people don't remember me anwyay, & then I grow through the rejection & become stronger ...

Yes, I know finding a wingman would solve a lot but I don't know how & can't seem to find time to find one, I only have the option to go out solo & it's tough, I have the bools to do it but im making it harder on myself, it's just hard to find a win whos willing to go out 5 nights a week.

Edited October 3, 2021 by Striving for more

[Striving for more]

**REQUISITE VARIETY :

• I guess I haven't tried hard enough to find a wing
• If I go out a lot, socialize with upbeat guys not just women, go to pub crawls, sports events, speak to strangers find events & hobbies every day, take every chance ... I should be able to find one

 

• I just gotta try harder. I gotta get the momentum going with this becuase its just 1 aspect of life, important but expensive, I must get it handled quick or I won't even afford to go out lol.
•  
• REQUISITE VARIETY & PERSISTANCE NO EXCUSES, NONE. FUCK OFF. 

Edited October 3, 2021 by Striving for more

[something_else]

Unless you are seriously struggling mentally, yes. Chances are you're making this thread because you know going out is the right thing to do but your mind is coming up with all sorts of excuses

Some of the best nights I've had have started with me not wanting to go out, feeling very similar to you

Problem is if you give in to a particular excuse i.e. 'I feel negative, so no one will want to be around me, so I should just stay in' you can be DAMN sure your mind is gonna generate that excuse harder and stronger next time to stop you from going out again. Now that it knows that's what works.

What makes this so hard is that your mind is rationally right, if you feel bad, good chance you'll have a bad night. It just makes sense. But you might also have a great night once you get out there. Your mind doesn't like this risk though, it'd rather take the safe option, so it does everything in its power to make you go for that easy option

If you've read The War of Art, this is like the 'Resistance' it talks about. That book is really good for realising that your mind can be your own worst enemy, and helping you overcome that

[something_else]

1 hour ago, Striving for more said:

If I go out a lot, socialize with upbeat guys not just women, go to pub crawls, sports events, speak to strangers find events & hobbies every day, take every chance ... I should be able to find one

Oh and yes, do this, but maybe not just because you want a wing. Do this because you want to socialise yourself and keep in mind that a wing would be a nice thing to have if you happen to come across one

[aurum]

4 hours ago, Striving for more said:

• I guess I haven't tried hard enough to find a wing
• If I go out a lot, socialize with upbeat guys not just women, go to pub crawls, sports events, speak to strangers find events & hobbies every day, take every chance ... I should be able to find one

 

I know you get this already, but I’ll just reiterate my POV for other guys reading this. Having good wings is arguably the most important part of learning pickup.

And by “good”, I just mean guys who are willing to go out a lot and approach.

You cannot do this alone.

Even if you want to go out solo to push your comfort zone and strengthen your independence, that should still be a minority of your nights out.

The vast majority should involve other people you know. Which can also include female friends who are maybe not formal “wings”.

In you’re in a major city, hit the online forums. There will be other guys who are into this. Message them or post an ad.

If you don’t live in a major city, then your goal should be to move to one. Trying to learn pickup in a small town doesn’t work, you need lots of people.

[Leo Gura]

Going out solo consistently for a newbie is honestly, next to an impossible task.

Invest time to find wings and friends who will give you a morale boost when you feel like quitting.

Wings are CRUCIAL!

You need to build up a decent experience base before you are ready to handle serious solo excursions.

Even when you are experienced, solo is HARD.

[Hello from Russia]

It's hard, but if you manage to go out solo it might give you a steroidal-like growth

Edited October 3, 2021 by Hello from Russia

[WDK]

1 hour ago, aurum said:

I know you get this already, but I’ll just reiterate my POV for other guys reading this. Having good wings is arguably the most important part of learning pickup.

And by “good”, I just mean guys who are willing to go out a lot and approach.

You cannot do this alone.

Even if you want to go out solo to push your comfort zone and strengthen your independence, that should still be a minority of your nights out.

The vast majority should involve other people you know. Which can also include female friends who are maybe not formal “wings”.

In you’re in a major city, hit the online forums. There will be other guys who are into this. Message them or post an ad.

If you don’t live in a major city, then your goal should be to move to one. Trying to learn pickup in a small town doesn’t work, you need lots of people.

Do you have a forum you'd recommend?

[Karmadhi]

@Leo Gura My friends do not like going to clubs or have partners. Therefore i am required to go solo. Yes it is hard but grows you the most i think. I tried it once (kinda) and it was fucking hard but i enjoyed it in a strange way. I do not tend to vibe well at all with party animals and therefore it is more convienent for me to just go out alone than to spend dozens of hours befriending people i do not like and kissing their ass just to get them as a wingman. Personal choice i guess.

[aurum]

1 hour ago, WDK said:

Do you have a forum you'd recommend?

Seddit (r/seduction on Reddit) was decent back in the day. I have no idea how it is now, I haven’t used it in years.

RSD forums were also decent. But they’ve been shut down last I heard.

You’ll just have to google around. As long as you’re in a major city, you should have no problem finding at least one or two guys. Don’t be picky at first, if they’re willing to go out, that’s good enough. 

1 hour ago, Karmadhi said:

@Leo Gura My friends do not like going to clubs or have partners. Therefore i am required to go solo. Yes it is hard but grows you the most i think. I tried it once (kinda) and it was fucking hard but i enjoyed it in a strange way. I do not tend to vibe well at all with party animals and therefore it is more convienent for me to just go out alone than to spend dozens of hours befriending people i do not like and kissing their ass just to get them as a wingman. Personal choice i guess.

I would give this narrative up.

You are spending even more dozens of hours trying to learn something that isn’t meant to be achieved alone.

It’s not about kissing ass. I never once kissed ass and I had literally dozens of wingmen when I was going out regularly.

When guys see that you approach hard and get results, they will be begging to go out with you.

And if you’re not going out with “wingmen”, then at the very least you need to be going out with normal friends.

Nothing else will sky rocket your results like this. Nothing.

[Karmadhi]

@aurum Well my guy friends either have girlfriends, are not interested in pickup or do not enjoy going to bars/clubs. Solutions (outside going solo ofc)?

[Leo Gura]

I am not talking about your lame ass old friends. I mean, befriend guys who are specifically into pickup.

[aurum]

36 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

@aurum Well my guy friends either have girlfriends, are not interested in pickup or do not enjoy going to bars/clubs. Solutions (outside going solo ofc)?

As I already said in this thread, hit the online forums.

This is where a sizeable number of pua guys still congregate.

And go to local pua events. Like if RSD does a free tour or event in your city, 100% go to that.

Otherwise, I would make friends with some of those party animals who you don’t resonate with. I know it’s not ideal, but if your intention is to get good at pickup, those guys can help you with that.

[Emotionalmosquito]

2 hours ago, aurum said:

RSD forums were also decent. But they’ve been shut down last I heard.

Why?

[aurum]

14 minutes ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

Why?

My guess is legal liability. They’ve moved to more general self-dev content.

[Emotionalmosquito]

@aurum legal liability like telling guys to do stuff that might get them in trouble? copyright stuff? What would you suppose?

[aurum]

10 hours ago, Emotionalmosquito said:

@aurum legal liability like telling guys to do stuff that might get them in trouble? copyright stuff? What would you suppose?

Nothing to do with copyright.

Legal liability as in teaching things that are controversial. And that could get them sued, removed from YouTube, or cause another media fiasco.

[Globalcollective]

I'd say if you can, yes go out even when your not feeling great as you slowly start to learn how to attract under all different states. A little story for you from back in the day, I was having a terrible night out and at the very end wanted to leave and did one more approach on a smoking hot Egyptian girl. We clicked and we started dating and I had the time of my life. This has happend to me a few times now where Im having a bad night but know that dose not mean it wont change and I end up having awesome experiences. In fact sometimes feeling crap before you go out could poss mean your more likely to have a better time.  

Reference experience is key 

[Striving for more]

9 minutes ago, Globalcollective said:

In fact sometimes feeling crap before you go out could poss mean your more likely to have a better time.  

Sometimes life works like that ..

[Emotionalmosquito]

35 minutes ago, aurum said:

Legal liability as in teaching things that are controversial

Know any details? I’ll bet they got accused of hate speech or something similar. Because how dare they teach guys how to improve themselves and socialize in a way women find attractive, right? 

Cancel culture strikes again