Test My Enlightenment

[Breakingthewall]

I think the matter is like this: right now I am sitting in a park, meditating. a beautiful place, I feel calm, joy, but there is a limit, an obstacle. it is always there. the obstacle is me. the obstacle disappears with chemistry, for a while, or at some specific moment if I meditate for several hours, although it soon returns. enlightenment would be living without that obstacle. It is something that I (the obstacle) would like. It's not simple at all, but i think it's possible

[Raptorsin7]

5 minutes ago, Endangered-EGO said:

Would you be sad if I told you, you were in Equanimity?

No I think this is accurate, and I feel comfortable with this place as my base. But I know I could feel better.

6 minutes ago, Endangered-EGO said:

How long have you waited since your supposed-enlightenment experience, before you thought about what it was.

It's been about 2 weeks. I've been reflecting on it, but it's hard to pinpoint exactly how/when it happeend

6 minutes ago, Endangered-EGO said:

Do you still have emotional work to do?

Yes, lots. I have a lot of emotional repression and suppression. Even as I type this I feel tremendous pressure rippling through my jaw and head. I have a ton of stuff to let go of.

7 minutes ago, Endangered-EGO said:

Do you have any resistance to negative thoughts? Imagine being raped by your dead relatives. Do you fight thinking about it?

No, there are no thoughts like that bother me. I grew up kinda like jofferey from game of thrones in a sense, so I'm numb to everything. Like I know there are things I wouldn't want, like I wouldn't want to be in Napoleans Army retreating from russia, but that thought doesn't bother me it's just a thought. If I were in hell, i'd be hopeful that consciousness is enough to get me out.

9 minutes ago, Endangered-EGO said:

Are you aware of the gap in awareness?

I don't perceive a gap. It's just this consciousness. There are no words that can truly to point to what it feels like.

 

9 minutes ago, Endangered-EGO said:

Do you have DP/DR symptoms? If yes, which ones.

What are DP/DR symptoms?

If I do have symptoms none of them bother me

[Endangered-EGO]

@Raptorsin7 I think you're some high equanimity state. Detachment is blocking things to show up.

[Chris365]

You like Rupert Spira? Very good pointer 'what is the nature of the knowing with which you know your experience?'

Or, 

From the Kena Upanishad:

"Not that which the eye can see, but that whereby the eye can see: know that to be Brahman the eternal, and not what people here adore;

Not that which the ear can hear, but that whereby the ear can hear: know that to be Brahman the eternal, and not what people here adore;

Not that which speech can illuminate, but that by which speech can be illuminated: know that to be Brahman the eternal, and not what people here adore;

Not that which the mind can think, but that whereby the mind can think: know that to be Brahman the eternal, and not what people here adore."

??

[Endangered-EGO]

@Raptorsin7 I had a 180° turn on what I believe enlightenment is.

 

It's basically integrating "what should be different" to "what is".

 

My meditation and daily awareness consists of being mindful of "resistance" and "self" it has a particular feeling of aversion to it.

 

Shinzen Young calls it "the taste of purification".

 

My goal is no longer realisation, but liberation. That's clear to me now. I don't want Kundalini-cosmic-orgasms anymore.

[Moksha]

1 hour ago, Raptorsin7 said:

It seems like things are going to continue to unfold, so there's never really a point where you can stand your ground and claim enlightenment

You got it. Directly realizing yourself as Consciousness is a pivotal first step toward enlightenment. From then on, it is about developing the capacity to remain present, until your mind is a steady flame, regardless of the turbulence around you. It's like gradually turning up the dimmer switch, until your form is perpetually filled with light. The light was always there, it was just obscured by your conditioning.

[Someone here]

@Raptorsin7 what is existence? What is nonexistence? 

[Zeroguy]

3 hours ago, Someone here said:

@Raptorsin7 what is existence? What is nonexistence? 

Find answers by yourself. 

You are the last one who should ask him this question. Don't patronize without any competence. 

Thank you. Still have my lists. 

[Endangered-EGO]

@Someone here The gap in existence is non existence.

[Raptorsin7]

4 hours ago, Someone here said:

@Raptorsin7 what is existence? What is nonexistence? 

I would say existence is consciousness, and I've never experienced non existent so I don't know how to answer that.

[Raptorsin7]

5 hours ago, Endangered-EGO said:

@Raptorsin7 I had a 180° turn on what I believe enlightenment is.

 

It's basically integrating "what should be different" to "what is".

 

My meditation and daily awareness consists of being mindful of "resistance" and "self" it has a particular feeling of aversion to it.

 

Shinzen Young calls it "the taste of purification".

 

My goal is no longer realisation, but liberation. That's clear to me now. I don't want Kundalini-cosmic-orgasms anymore.

I think it's as simple as recognizing consciousness and resting in that effortless space.

I agree about the returning to what is, that's a good description. It feels like I'm constantly bringing my attention to what is 

[Breakingthewall]

4 hours ago, Someone here said:

@Raptorsin7 what is existence? What is nonexistence? 

existence is. non-existence is not. since it is not, it cannot be perceived, so it is irrelevant. There may be abysses of non-existence between fleeting moments of existence, but as they are finite, since if it were not so, there would be no existence, for practical purposes there don't exist

[Endangered-EGO]

15 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

I think it's as simple as recognizing consciousness and resting in that effortless space.

I agree about the returning to what is, that's a good description. It feels like I'm constantly bringing my attention to what is 

@Raptorsin7 ITs tricky though. Bringing attention to what is. I thought I did that, but I just suppressed thoughts by focusing on sight and body feelingd. So everytime a bad thought or feeling occured, I suppressed it by focussing on something else. Which is a fools errand.

[Chris365]

4 minutes ago, Endangered-EGO said:

@Raptorsin7 ITs tricky though. Bringing attention to what is. I thought I did that, but I just suppressed thoughts by focusing on sight and body feelingd. So everytime a bad thought or feeling occured, I suppressed it by focussing on something else. Which is a fools errand.

So what happens now when a bad thought or feeling appears?

[Raptorsin7]

19 hours ago, JosephKnecht said:

If you are enlightened, then who am I? 

@JosephKnecht Hey, I was reflecting on what you wrote and I don't understand what you're pointing at.

These words put my mind in like a trance and I just know something significant was said, but I don't see the significance 

[Someone here]

14 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

I would say existence is consciousness, and I've never experienced non existent so I don't know how to answer that.

And what is Consciousness? 

[Raptorsin7]

@Someone here I don't think any words can describe what it is.

All I can say is this is consciousness. It's all just consciousness

[Someone here]

@Raptorsin7 but do you know what it is even intuitively? Or is it a mystery to you? 

[Raptorsin7]

@Someone here I don't know what it is.

But I guess you can say I know that this is consciousness. In a sense consciousness is all I know

[Someone here]

@Raptorsin7 yes but.. If you don't actually know what existence /consciousness /reality is.. Then how can you be enlightened?