Test My Enlightenment

[Proserpina]

@Raptorsin7 Are you in love with reality? 

Do you love pain just as much as you do pleasure? I mean, deep down. 

[Raptorsin7]

1 minute ago, Chris365 said:

How do you feel about all the suffering in the world?

I am detached from the suffering of the world. I think in the future I will be more sensitive to the suffering around me, but right now I'm emotionally closed off so I don't really care. 

Intellectually I think that if reality accepts the suffering of the world, then who am I to judge?

[Salvijus]

Nice thread

Do you have to make effort to stay as presence? ?

[Raptorsin7]

1 minute ago, Proserpina said:

@Raptorsin7 Are you in love with reality? 

Do you love pain just as much as you do pleasure? I mean, deep down. 

Change Love to Consciousness.  Change reality to consciousness

Are you in consciousness with consciousness?

I haven't felt the full emotional result of this insight yet, I am assuming there is deep sadness, joy, fear etc all waiting to be felt. 

Right now I just feel a contentment with where i'm at on the path, but I still have bad habits and I wouldn't say i'm very happy or joyful. But i'm also not suffering, I expect things to get better slowly, but theres no eagerness on my end

I don't think I could love true pain at this point, but consciousness is present even with deep pain so I bet I will at some point

[Raptorsin7]

3 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

Nice thread

Do you have to make effort to stay as presence? ?

Thank you, i thought it would be fun

No it's effortless, but I still have a mental habit of resisting my feelings I think. So it's like whenever I go unconscious, I can immediately recognize the effortless presence and rest as it.

My work is pretty chill, so I just listen to music/podcasts etc so I can relax a bit there. And at home I've been listening to this napolean series over and over again, and the good feeling makes it easier to stay as the presence  

[Gesundheit2]

Testing for $1,000.

[Rilles]

I dont know if anyone has asked this...

Who are what is seeing through "your" eyes right now?

What is your relation to your body? Does it feel like yours?

@raptorsin7 

[Moksha]

Enlightenment is just a word, and means different things to different people. For me, enlightenment is being so personally transparent and equanimous that your form is perpetually filled with the light of Consciousness, which is who you actually are, until the form itself dissolves and the dream ends. There is no self-identification, no desires, no aversions, and no attachments to relative reality. Only love, because you see the sameness of your ultimate nature in all things.

I am not fully enlightened, and the vast majority of people who have awakened are not either, including most spiritual teachers.

[Raptorsin7]

3 minutes ago, Rilles said:

I dont know if anyone has asked this...

Who are what is seeing through "your" eyes right now?

What is your relation to your body? Does it feel like yours?

@raptorsin7 

I don't feel like I'm behind the eyes. But I feel tremendous pressure in my eye sockets and the center of my forehead.

There's just this recognition of consciousness.

I still feel my body. It's heavily contracted, and I've experienced an uncontracted body on psychidelics so I know what's coming

[Salvijus]

11 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

Thank you, i thought it would be fun

No it's effortless, but I still have a mental habit of resisting my feelings I think. So it's like whenever I go unconscious, I can immediately recognize the effortless presence and rest as it.

Wow, I'm impressed. I want to know more about your backstory if you don't mind. How long since the shift happened and how? Did psychedelics helped you in any way ? 

?

Edited October 3, 2021 by Salvijus

[Rilles]

1 minute ago, Raptorsin7 said:

I don't feel like I'm behind the eyes. But I feel tremendous pressure in my eye sockets and the center of my forehead.

There's just this recognition of consciousness.

I still feel my body. It's heavily contracted, and I've experienced an uncontracted body on psychidelics so I know what's coming

So "what" is aware of your mind and body? What is that "thing"? If youre not behind the eyes then where are you?

 

 

[Raptorsin7]

6 minutes ago, Moksha said:

Enlightenment is just a word, and means different things to different people. For me, enlightenment is being so personally transparent and equanimous that your form is perpetually filled with the light of Consciousness, which is who you actually are, until the form itself dissolves and the dream ends. There is no self-identification, no desires, no aversions, and no attachments to relative reality. Only love, because you see the sameness of your ultimate nature in all things.

I am not fully enlightened, and the vast majority of people who have awakened are not either, including most spiritual teachers.

Yeah this is a great point.

It seems like things are going to continue to unfold, so there's never really a point where you can stand your ground and claim enlightenment

[Raptorsin7]

3 minutes ago, Rilles said:

So "what" is aware of your mind and body? What is that "thing"? If youre not behind the eyes then where are you?

 

 

I don't know. I'm just aware. It's just consciousness. I'm just here, not sure how else to describe it 

[Rilles]

4 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

I don't know. I'm just aware. It's just consciousness. I'm just here, not sure how else to describe it 

Alright final question, this will prove your omniscience... Is Leo sitting down or levitating in his videos...? If you answer correctly I will personally mail you a cookie with frosting.

[mandyjw]

poke

 

[Raptorsin7]

9 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

Wow, I'm impressed. I want to know more about your backstory if you don't mind. How long since the shift happened and how? Did psychedelics helped you in any way ? 

?

Thanks. 

So I'm 26, I live in Vancouver, Canada. My family is from India, but I was born in Canada.

Started meditating about 6 years ago after Leo said it was the best thing to do improve your life. I was doing a Sam Harris guided meditation for like 3 years, ranging from 30 mins to 60 mins a day. Most I ever took off during that period was a few months, but I was pretty consistent.

2 years ago found this forum. Realized that my meditation was nice because it got me interested in spirituality and being aware of my thoughts, but the meditation barely had an effect on my well being and I was more conscious, but overall it didn't improve my life. As I learned more on the forum I found Ekkart Tolle and Rupert Spira, I really liked their teachings but I didn't really understand their teaching, even though I did some guided meditations. 

about 1.5 years ago I had a spiritual breakthrough with LSD, it was like my 4th trip, but I got nauseous on the trip and had to lay down, and at some point I just started relaxing and feeling into tensions in my body, then I had some experience of like awareness being awareness in like an infinte loop, and that ended with a crown chakra opened where it felt like my head being opened from the inside, I even felt my head being sticky and being ripped apart. Then I felt just bliss flowing from the universe into me, it was incredible. Still the peakest experience of my life, I've never reached that peak since.

I was basically chasing that peak state for like a year, up until a few weeks ago. In that year of chasing i got really depressed and gave up on life. I dropped out of law school because I thought I was already enlightened and was close to the same peak, and then regretted it and got really depressed and just gave up for like 6 months. 

Like 6 months ago I came home really depressed from work, and then I just layed down and said I can only feel good right now in this moment, and I just spent all day just laying in bed and focusing on my inner sensations for 3 days straight. I had some blissful experiences from those 3 days, and it basically wiped out my depression and gave me hope that meditation can work, and I can reach that peak state I found a few years ago.

 

The past 6 months I've basically felt like I was one day away from enlightenment, even though It was out of reach. I would come home from work, smoke weed and listen to Rupert Spira. Each time I would listen, I would feel like I'm close to enlightenment I feel my tensions unwinding, but then I'd lose it and end up seeking again. I had ups and downs in this period, I thought maybe I was off base, I would think I'm stuck. I had like 5 periods where I thought I was stagnating, only to make more progress in the next few days. It reached a point where I didn't even care if I stagnated because I knew I would overcome the plateu.

A few weeks ago I had the major insight. I can't really remember when/how it happened. But it feels like a culimination of all my seeking, because I heard this stuff before. I just realized that conscious presence is the key. Our own consciousness is what we seek. But consciousness is always present. And it just kinda took hold, and now consciousness is just the most important thing and it solves all my seeking. Consciousness is like the final key to the puzzle.

There's more to my story, but this is the main points.

[Zeroguy]

7 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

poke

 

You've got the power. 

Without drugs, meditation or anything. 

You are God wake up. 

Edited October 3, 2021 by Zeroguy

[Raptorsin7]

3 minutes ago, Zeroguy said:

You've got the power. 

Without drugs, meditation or anything. 

You are God wake up. 

You are consciousness 

[Endangered-EGO]

@Raptorsin7 Would you be sad if I told you, you were in Equanimity?

How long have you waited since your supposed-enlightenment experience, before you thought about what it was.

 

Do you still have emotional work to do?

Do you have any resistance to negative thoughts? Imagine being raped by your dead relatives. Do you fight thinking about it?

Are you aware of the gap in awareness?

Do you have DP/DR symptoms? If yes, which ones.

[Salvijus]

Very nice. Very inspiring to read. I think it's enough for today, I'll ask you some more about psychedelics some day maybe

Good luck to you ❤️

Love