The deeper I go the scarier and crazier it gets. And I'm not even going, really. It's pulling me in. I am unfolding with it. Want it or not. Sometimes I cannot blink without it being a conscious choice. I cannot breathe unless it is done deliberately, on purpose. Some of you might know what I'm talking about. All that stuff that once was happening unconsciously, for you, all of the sudden, is now happening at will. Or it ain't happening at all. And that, is fucking scary. Your stomach digesting the food you ate? You're doing that, too. The same way you prepared that meal. The wind blowing against your back? You're doing that as well. The Sun shining? Yup. It's you. And the scariest thing of it all, is: you cannot look away. No matter how hard you try. You're here. It's here. And there is nothing behind you. Nowhere to go. Yes, realizing Oneness and God is all nice and cool. But being God is something totally else. And it's freakin' terrifying. Anyone who says it's not, is not actually waking up. Just fantasizing. Not to mention the fact that there's a huge chance you'll lose everything and your life will fall apart, right before your eyes, if you go all the way. It's not all meditation and chill on your couch. This shit is real. It will come for everything you got. At least that's what happened to me. And many more high masters that I deeply respect and trust. Be careful. Take care of yourself. And take a lot of breaks. Don't flirt with insanity or death too much, too often. Be gentle with yourself. If you think awakening is all flowers and butterflies, you are very, very wrong. In fact; most of the time, it's the complete opposite. That's what's real. Being is absolutely beautiful and lovely. Ineffable. But you are not actually being. Not fully. Not even nearly. Getting there is not a walk in a park. Being 100% conscious of your infinitude is no joke. Some would rather die a horrible death, than to 'experience' infinite consciousness, trust me. Be grateful you can feel the sting. Be grateful you're not quite there yet and that it's taking a lot of time. You could not handle it all at once. No one can.