i Am Not Comfortable With The Idea Of Being God

[SQAAD]

I don't feel comfortable with the prospect of being God. This is why if i trip hard , i get terrified. Because i don't wanna be everyone and everything. It's too much if you really think about it... Sometimes i find myself thinking what it would be like to live all sorts of different lives. Lives that are super miserable. And some super gruesome...and super super painful.......

I don't know how a more experienced seeker or psychonaut has dealt with this issue. I cannot accept easily that i am God. I prefer just being a human who will die and then that's it, game over. Thats the more comfortable scenario...

 

Edited October 1, 2021 by SQAAD

[Tim R]

25 minutes ago, SQAAD said:

I don't feel comfortable with the prospect of being God. This is why if i trip hard , i get terrified. Because i don't wanna be everyone and everything. It's too much if you really think about it... Sometimes i find myself thinking what it would be like to live all sorts of different lives. Lives that are super miserable. And some super gruesome...and super super painful.......

@SQAAD You will see this in a very, very different light once you realize that you are also Love. 

1:36:15 - 1:38:26

[blackchair]

yeah, I'm not ready for it for the past 4years but I'm still alive, God is trying to tell me something but i won't listen

[Cireeric]

I can feel exactly the same, you loose some of the human worries and anxieties but at the same time its deeply terrifiyng to get more and more to the point of realizing that you are god. In some deep trips I can feel like I can see it coming that I am god but I fear fully realizing it. It feels like fear of death gets replaced with a "fear of infinity", a fear of experiencing absolutely everything forever. But maybe the crucial point here is like @Tim R said above to also realize that its all love that will free you.

[Terell Kirby]

Love the digital art you shared.

I respect your honesty. Fear is a natural result of dissolving the ego. Learn to label it as such, and know that it is illusory.

[Leo Gura]

Realizing you are God is so terrifying most will never reach it.

[blackchair]

5 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Realizing you are God is so terrifying most will never reach it.

why? what's so scary in it? 

[Star]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Realizing you are God is so terrifying most will never reach it.

 I remember I had a break down when I first realised it,  3 years ago. I even called my mom and started crying cause I felt so disappointed that she in not actually my mom in the sense I thought she was. I thought I wouldn't know how  I would go on with my life anymore.  I thought that my life would come upside down. But actually no.... nothing changed apart from me taking responsibility for everything that happens in my life. 

[impulse9]

"In other news, God is uncomfortable with the idea of being God. Here's Tom with the weather."

[Adamq8]

2 minutes ago, impulse9 said:

"In other news, God is uncomfortable with the idea of being God. Here's Tom with the weather."

????

[Nahm]

7 hours ago, SQAAD said:

I don't feel comfortable with the prospect of being God. This is why if i trip hard , i get terrified.

No it isn’t. 

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Because i don't wanna be everyone and everything. It's too much if you really think about it...

Only if you really think about it. If you don’t it’s literally nothing. Not even an it. 

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Sometimes i find myself thinking what it would be like to live all sorts of different lives. Lives that are super miserable. And some super gruesome...and super super painful.......I don't know how a more experienced seeker or psychonaut has dealt with this issue.

It’s not an issue. It’s a thought. Issue would just be another thought, a label over the prior thought. You could believe in an issue a big ol ton, but still no one experiences that because it’s not actual, it’s your idea, a belief. A repeating activity of thought. There is seeking & psychonauting, there is no seeker or psychonaut. 

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I cannot accept easily that i am God. I prefer just being a human who will die and then that's it, game over. Thats the more comfortable scenario...

This is like an escape artist spending lifetimes in search of more comfortable cages having never really looked at the one they’re in. Idea’s, concepts, prospects, etc, can be so deeply convincing & believed that they are mistaken for the unthinkable actuality, and a desire for safety & comfort indeed seems to arise.

So just take great comfort in it. Relax into it, so to speak. So much so that the true desire to be unbound by ideas, concepts, prospects, desire for comfort, etc arises, or, is tapped into if you like. Only unfettered reality will do, as it is precisely without some thing else to feel uncomfortable about. 

What could be said to the human which worries about what it would or could be like, to be human?  I mean, when the laughter inevitably subsides, for real, what could be said? 

The difference between a belief & the truth is one of them are the truth. One of them doesn’t feel so great to the other, and not two is as good as could be. Even God isn’t quite comfortable with the idea of being God. 

 

[The Lucid Dreamer]

About 6 years ago, when I first realized I was going to live every life and go through every possible pain and misery and torture, I went into the fetal position in my bed and started hyper-ventilating saying “No! I can’t do it! I can’t do it” and just stayed like that for hours, trying to find a way to be come to terms with that reality.  To no avail, really.  

It really didn’t help that I was absolutely blazed on dabs at the time, haha.  And to be honest, it still sort of bugs me to this day.  The only thing that has given me comfort is finding out through my awakening experiences that all the suffering is more than made up for in the end by the Love and Joy that you realize you are when you wake up from the dream.  In some of my deepest awakening experiences, I remember thinking, “All of the suffering I have gone through is like a joke and so inconsequential in the face of this Love. I’d go through it a thousand more time just to have this experience again.”

Now of course, when you are truly suffering, it doesn’t really seem worth it.  The suffering seems bigger than the love in those moments.  But after awakening, I know that that isn’t true. I now know that pain and suffering is always finite, but Love and Beauty are eternal.   In the end, when God awakens to itself, it makes it more than all right. 

[Breakingthewall]

1 hour ago, The Lucid Dreamer said:

About 6 years ago, when I first realized I was going to live every life and go through every possible pain and misery and torture

You could think that you are going to go through all the pain, or that you have already gone through it. the second option seems more cheerful. it does not matter, they are imaginary. they are not-happening right now

[The Lucid Dreamer]

14 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

You could think that you are going to go through all the pain, or that you have already gone through it. the second option seems more cheerful.

Correct.

14 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

they are not-happening right now

And yet they are. ;P

[SQAAD]

@Tim R

10 hours ago, Tim R said:

@SQAAD You will see this in a very, very different light once you realize that you are also Love. 

1:36:15 - 1:38:26

I can't love sh*t live that. This is the worst ever. God is a nutcase. Sh*t like that makes me wish God did never exist...

 

Edited October 1, 2021 by SQAAD

[SQAAD]

@Leo Gura

9 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Realizing you are God is so terrifying most will never reach it.

How do you personally deal with terror??

[SQAAD]

@blackchair

9 hours ago, blackchair said:

why? what's so scary in it? 

I remember once i was tripping hard and i was absolutely terrified that i would become someone who would be beheaded. Lol. I was crying for my mum. I was begging to forget everything about non-duality. 

Basically you come up against your worst fears i believe..... Only once i had the privilege to become absolutely infinite. At first it was all fun. Because when you first get into this work, you think about all the positives. I am all wealthy people, i am Bill Gates, i am Buddha etc etc

But at the end when i was beginning to realize that i am also all accidents, all rapes, all torturees etc then i got freaked out. My ego was not ready to handle it...Lol It was a rude awakening. But i find that as time goes by, this insights get baked into me slowly and i become more comfortable with the Truth.... But it takes time.....I am still not there.  This issue of fear of God has not been addressed by most spiritual teachers on Yt. Leo has touched this issue.. Everybody else is all about love and joy. Nobody talks about the horrendous pain and suffering...

Edited October 1, 2021 by SQAAD

[Dazgwny]

You’ve gotta realise ya know, that u have created the whole lot. One way I have come to understand what I’m up to is this. Imagine I gave you 1000 words. 1000 words, from hello to goodbye, and another 998 in between. In any order. And told you to write as many stories as possible using those 1000 words. You’d write one story, then the next, then the next, then the next, forever and ever, until all stories were written. That’s limited, it kind of seems infinite but you’ve actually only 1000 words so the amount of stories you could create, is in the end, finite. But imagine the amount of stories you could concoct with those 1000 words. More than you could ever believe. Now try to understand everything that could ever possibly exist. Mix all that up, the scenarios are absolutely infinite. There’s actually no way to shut it down, to close it up, it is what is is. That is what your doing right now. You have created an absolute mish mash of all that can ever possibly be and came up with your life, and your whole backstory of history and everything. And somehow, the Mechanics I’m not exactly sure of yet, but I have watched them in action, but I don’t quite know how it’s doing it. But it is what it is, you’ve made it up, and when you end this dream, you will be more than capable of creating something with a complete different history. No hitler, no Jesus, no Buddha, no none of that shit. Just anything, you can make anything up, so long as you believe it enough then you actually believe it! It’s so subconsciously set, that you truly do have to jail break your mind to realise what’s going on here. You have made up your whole life. All people, everything. And you’ll do it over and over again. Correct me if I’m wrong anyone??‍♂️

[SQAAD]

@Cireeric

10 hours ago, Cireeric said:

I can feel exactly the same, you loose some of the human worries and anxieties but at the same time its deeply terrifiyng to get more and more to the point of realizing that you are god. In some deep trips I can feel like I can see it coming that I am god but I fear fully realizing it. It feels like fear of death gets replaced with a "fear of infinity", a fear of experiencing absolutely everything forever. But maybe the crucial point here is like @Tim R said above to also realize that its all love that will free you.

You described it beautifully there... This fear of God/Infinity is something i face if i trip deep.... Because if you trip really deep then you will eventually become God.. 

The love part doesn't help me... If  my finger is being cut off , whether its love or not doesn't change my situation....

Sometimes i get depressed about Enlightment. Because it is just a recontextualization. Even though it has tremendous benefits, no doubt about that. But when you first get into this work, you expect to levitate once you awaken. Lol.

Edited October 2, 2021 by SQAAD

[Vincent S]

22 minutes ago, Dazgwny said:

You’ve gotta realise ya know, that u have created the whole lot. One way I have come to understand what I’m up to is this. Imagine I gave you 1000 words. 1000 words, from hello to goodbye, and another 998 in between. In any order. And told you to write as many stories as possible using those 1000 words. You’d write one story, then the next, then the next, then the next, forever and ever, until all stories were written. That’s limited, it kind of seems infinite but you’ve actually only 1000 words so the amount of stories you could create, is in the end, finite. But imagine the amount of stories you could concoct with those 1000 words. More than you could ever believe. Now try to understand everything that could ever possibly exist. Mix all that up, the scenarios are absolutely infinite. There’s actually no way to shut it down, to close it up, it is what is is. That is what your doing right now. You have created an absolute mish mash of all that can ever possibly be and came up with your life, and your whole backstory of history and everything. And somehow, the Mechanics I’m not exactly sure of yet, but I have watched them in action, but I don’t quite know how it’s doing it. But it is what it is, you’ve made it up, and when you end this dream, you will be more than capable of creating something with a complete different history. No hitler, no Jesus, no Buddha, no none of that shit. Just anything, you can make anything up, so long as you believe it enough then you actually believe it! It’s so subconsciously set, that you truly do have to jail break your mind to realise what’s going on here. You have made up your whole life. All people, everything. And you’ll do it over and over again. Correct me if I’m wrong anyone??‍♂️

This ?

You are the Creator of your Reality.  You have Infinity to use as a fuel for the things you want to create. You weren’t conscious constructing the things you created before you put yourself asleep as a finite self. Now that you have awoken, create the things you want to experience.